Dodgeball!
by tiffaninichole
Summary: Bella & Jasper are enemies who are constantly pranking and insulting each other, determined to have the last laugh. With the championship looming and sexual tensions building, who will be the first to crumble?
1. Chapter 1

**"What's Love Got to Do With It? Anti-Valentines Day Contest"**

**Title**: Dodgeball!

**Penname**: tiffaninichole

**I don't own Twilight. If I did, I'd be on my private island taking a bath in diamonds and eating caviar off of RPattz's tongue.**

---------------

"Bells, I know you're hyped up, but you _can't do stupid shit!_ If you try to pass the boundaries again during the championship, I'm pretty sure we'll all take turns kicking your ass."

"Emmett, please just shut the fuck up. First off, you _wish_ you could take me. You know I'm badass." I smile at him and he exaggeratingly rolls his eyes. "Second, he was _taunting_ me and you know it! I _still_ have that damn taste in my mouth! What was I supposed to do?!"

"Uh, how about _ignore _him and take one for the team? So he put that sour shit on your toothbrush that made your teeth turn brown," I interrupt him with a scoff and he continues. "Just laugh it off and move on. Aren't you 22? I swear you two are like 11 year olds! You damn near cost us the game; our perfect season! And for what? To junk punch Jasper in the middle of a game?"

"Damn straight! He deserved it! And I_ could have_ lost the game. I _shouldn't have_punched Jasper in his shriveled balls. But I didn't and I _did_. Blah, blah, blah... shoulda, woulda, coulda. It's in the past now. I'll control myself during the game, but I can't guarantee I won't be arrested for assault when the game's over."

"As long as you don't fuck up our chances, be my guest. You fuckers are funny as hell." Emmett tells me, patting my ass as he walks away. I know it doesn't mean anything; he pops major boners for our teammate Rosalie Hale. He's too damn slow to realize the drool that oozes out of her mouth when he walks into a room. Dummies can't even see what's right in front of them.

"Hey, Bella, can I smack your ass, too?" my teammate Mike Newton asks as he wraps his arm around my waist.

"Back up, Mike, before my shoe makes love with your face."

He backs away and puts up his hands in surrender. "One day, Swan. One day you'll give me a taste of that sweet, sweet ass."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah, keep dreaming."

"I will," he smirks. "That's where all of my wet Bella dreams happen."

"Ugh, perv." I laugh and punch him in his arm while walking away to the locker room. Poor boy never gives up. Oh well, it's kind of flattering.

Walking into the women's locker room, I see Alice Brandon, the other starting female on our team.

"Hey, Bella. Good practice today. You ready for the game?"

"Hell yeah! I can't wait to smear the floor with Jasper's face."

She laughs while shaking her head. "Should I be worried that your face lights up when mentioning inflicting bodily harm on someone?"

"Hey! Hurting Jasper is fun. It gives me my womanly glow!" I smile and caress my cheeks to prove my point.

"I have to admit, when you put that 'I brake 4 gay bars' bumper sticker on his car, I almost _died_ laughing! You guys sure know how to make a gal's day."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have had to do that if he didn't tangle that big ass, sticky rubber band in my hair. I thought I was gonna have to cut it!"

"Well, if I remember correctly, he only did _that_ because you put black dye in his shampoo bottle. His whole damn head... ears, forehead--even his _neck_ was black!"

"So! He put itching powder down my shorts! Had me scratching my cooch like I had a critter infestation. I had to visit my _dad_ that day! Do you know how hard it is to discreetly scratch your snatch every six seconds in the presence of your father?! Not cool, dude."

Alice breaks into hysterical laughter and I'm seething. _God_ I hate him! Egotistical bastard, with his shit talking and condescending smirks. I'll shove that pretty smirk right up his ass tonight.

Everyone in the league knows about the rivalry between Jasper Whitlock and me. Just _thinking_ his name pisses me off. Being in his vicinity makes me wanna punch something-preferably _him._ I don't know what happened to ignite the unbridled hatred between us and frankly, I don't care. He was always fucking with me. I _still_ haven't forgotten when he replaced my Bath & Body Works gel with some kind of gag soap. Turned my skin electric pink for a damn week. Oh yeah. Fucker's gonna pay.

While taking my shower, I think of all of the ways I can pay Jasper back. I think a little Liquid Ass will come in handy. I smirk to myself thinking of making his stupid tan, leathery skin smell like shitty dumpster juice. I'm so good.

When I'm finished washing my hair, I step out of the shower and head over to my duffel bag to get my blow dryer. I hate walking around with wet hair.

"Hey, Alice, do you have any more of that CHI Silk Infusion? I forgot to bring serum with me when I packed my bag."

"Yeah, lemme get it."

She bends over to reach into her bag and I notice her new ink.

"Holy shit, you got a new tatt?!"

She hands me the serum, smiling. "Yep. Got it a week ago. You like?"

I start applying the product to my hair, working it through. "Yeah, it's really cute! But you're gonna run out of space soon if you keep it up," I laugh.

"No such thing," she smiles back at me while curling her hair.

I plug in my blow dryer, set it on high, point it towards my head and turn it on full blast.

"AAAAAAAAGH!!! What the hell?!?" I scream. I quickly drop the dryer and blink my eyes, trying to see what's going on. What the fuck?! Something's coating my throat, making me gag and spit and cough like crazy. I can't see, so I walk like a mummy with my hands out, trying to feel for the sink. When I find it, I turn on the water and rinse my eyes out. I look around, blinking my eyes rapidly to rid them of the tears, trying to figure out what happened when I see Alice and Angela doubled over in silent laughter, gasping for breath.

"What the fuck's so funny?" I spit.

"Jasper.......... Put......... Powder...... In your dryer!!!" Angela heaves out before crumbling to the floor, laughing maniacally.

"Oh GOD, Bella! That was.... The funniest shit E-VER! One minute you're just standing there and the next, you're in a cloud of white dust!" Alice yells as tears of laughter roll down her face.

"BELLA!!!..... Your..... Hair..... Is..... ASHY!!!!"

At this point, everyone's come into the room to see what's going on and my whole team breaks out into hysterics. Fucking Jasper.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up, fuckmonkeys. I'll get him and I'll get him good!" I shout while waving my arms in the air.

"You sound like the Wicked Witch of the West!" Eric snorts through his laughter.

This brings on even more laughing and jokes. I leave the assholes behind me as I stomp off to take _another_ shower, plotting the demise of Jasper Whitlock. I'm usually a calm and levelheaded person, but Jasper brings out the worst in me. He's so gonna get it.

---------------

Before each game, we have to shake hands with each player from the opposing team. When it's my turn to shake Jasper's hand, he gives me that stupid smirk.

"Hey, Swan. Why do you smell like baby powder? I mean, if you wanna smell like toddler ass, that's your prerogative, but—"

"Shut the fuck up, Whitlock. You're going down tonight."

After the hand shaking, we all go to our walls, ready for the whistle to blow. Three men and three women on each team. I quickly size up each of my opponents while the ref sets up the balls. The girls will be too easy. They're new and scrawny as hell. No muscle mass. Weaklings. I'll leave them to Rose and Alice. The two guys besides lanky ass Jasper are big and hulking. Way too big to have any speed. All brawn. Emmett and Peter should have no trouble taking them down. I have tunnel vision. And my target is that fuckface Jasper. I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum... And I'm all out of bubble gum.

My adrenaline kicks in as I anticipate the whistle blowing. I crack my neck from side to side, keeping my eyes on the prize. And by prize, I mean pulverizing Jasper with as many balls as I can. Let's see if I can break my record of bruises I leave on Jasper's body. My all-time high is 24. Twenty-four beautiful, ball-shaped bruises that made me as proud as the mother of an honor roll student. You'll get yours tonight, Jasper Whitlock. Oh, yes. _You. Will. Feel. Me__._

The ref walks to the middle of the court with his whistle hanging from his lips. Bring it, I'm so ready. I wanna jump up and down and do cartwheels, I'm so amped up. The crowd silences and all attention is on the court. The whistle blows and I push myself off of the wall, running for the nearest ball. Jasper was headed for the same one, but I get to it first. Haha, fucker. I smirk at him as he backs away from my wrath, but my aim is too good and my arm is too strong. I throw the ball as hard as I can at Jasper. He ducks down, but I anticipate his move and aim lower, where I knew his head would end up. BOING!!! The ball hit that country bumpkin right in the nose. YES!!! Blood? Oh no. Blood is running out of his nose at an alarming rate. I swear I can smell it. Damn my nose and my stomach. I start to feel woozy.

The ref calls timeout and Jasper runs to clean up his face. Asshole's gonna pay for making me sick. Game. On.

--------------

"To the Death Dealers!"

"DEATH DEALERS!!!" we all shout in unison, clanking our beer glasses together.

"Bella, you kicked ass and took names tonight, baby girl!" Rose claps me on my back.

"Yeah," Emmett agrees, "you definitely earned MVP tonight, Bells!" I swear he had hearts and cupids floating around his head. He has it so bad for Rose.

We won four out of seven games against The Panthers and victory is oh, so sweet. Jasper looked so crunched after we won the 'Ship it made my heart flutter. Hehehe.

"Where is Jasper anyway? His team agreed to come tonight, no matter who won," I ask the group.

"Oh, they're all here. Just scattered around," Emmett tells me.

After three beers, I have to use the restroom. I excuse myself and walk to the back of the bar, bummed that I haven't been able to rub the complete and utter ass kicking in Jasper's face.

Entering the empty bathroom, I walk into a stall and turn around to close it.

"What the fuck?!"

Jasper appears in front of the stall door and is stopping me from closing it. His eyes are dark, hooded, blazing-- watching me as if he's a predator... and I'm his prey. He slowly walks into the stall, closes the door and locks it behind his back, all without taking his eyes off of me.

"What the hell are you doing, Jasper?" I yell while pushing him against the stall door. He grabs my wrists and quickly turns me around so my back is against the door. He pushes me harder and presses his body into mine. Holy shit.

He puts both of my wrists into one hand and lifts them above my head. Holy. Shit.

He leans his face into my neck and pushes his hips into my thigh. I feel his hardness. Holy. Fucking. Shit. My center involuntarily twitches and I feel the moisture in my panties. Stupid traitor body.

"I didn't appreciate that electrifying beer can tonight, Swan. Shocked the hell outta me. What am I gonna do with you? You've been kind of mean. I think it's time you learn your lesson."

He lifts my shirt to reveal my bra and he sharply takes in a gulp of air.

"What _am_ I gonna do with you? Teasing me. Flaunting your tight little body around in those _shorts_. Those _fucking __skin tight shorts_ you wear to the games. You fucking tease. You know exactly what you're doing." He takes a nipple into his mouth and I moan.

"Oh, you like that? Evil girl with your fucking pranks and your round, sexy ass."

He reaches around with his free hand and palms my ass. I thrust my hips forward while my head hits the door behind me.

"Yes, this fine ass is mine tonight. You'll be screaming my name, Swan."

Holy shit.

He backs his torso away from me and unbuttons his jeans, pulling out his dick. Damn, it's big. Nice and thick. I realize I'm panting and Jasper smirks at me.

"Like what you see, Swan?"

"Hell no. I've seen bigger."

He grabs the back of my head and pulls me in for a kiss. Our mouths press tightly together as our tongues battle it out. He hastily pulls my pants and panties off while I lower his jeans to the floor, never breaking the kiss, never backing down. Hands are everywhere. Hair, chests, thighs, backs, asses. We're a tangle of hands and lust and tongues. I'm about to explode. I've never felt such blinding passion before. I lift my legs and wrap them around his hips. He moans into my mouth and grinds into my center. I feel his head rubbing dangerously close to my entrance and I grind on him, hoping his dick will just put me out of my misery already.

I break the kiss. "So are you gonna do something with that pathetic dick or are you just gonna hump my leg like a dog all night?"

"Oh, I'm gonna do _something_. I'm gonna do something _fast_. _Hard_. And _deep_." He punctuates each word with a thrust.

"Well, shut the fuck up and get on with it, then!"

He takes his cock in his hand and lines it up with my entrance, rubbing it back and forth.

"Shit. So wet."

I'm about to come up with something witty to say when he thrusts into me. Hard. I yell out and he covers my mouth with his hand.

"Shut the fuck up, before someone hears you."

I close my eyes and concentrate on not making much noise. But it's so hard. Literally. I'm moaning and struggling to stay quiet and Jasper leans in to my ear.

"Not a big shit talker now, huh, Swan?"

He lifts my ass up higher and firmly grabs each cheek, rocking his hips back and forth. Each thrust, harder and deeper than the last. He's hitting spots that I didn't even know were there. I let out a guttural moan. Words are not an option right now.

"You like me like this? Pounding into your hot pussy? Huh?"

Harder and faster. I don't know how long I can last. His head bends down and captures a nipple in his mouth. He gently bites down and pounds harder into me.

"Oh, god."

"You like it rough? I shoulda known you would." He pushes harder. Our skin is slapping together loudly and my moans are echoing around the room.

"Ohhhhhhh... Oh g--oh my--FUCK!"

"Don't make me cover your mouth again. Shut. Up."

I grab his head and kiss him roughly. His tongue is so slick and warm and tastes like Skittles. Mmmmm, so good. He yanks his head away from mine.

"I woulda fucked you a long time ago if I knew it'd shut you up like this," he grunts.

I'm grinding so hard into him. Sweat is covering our bodies. Our chests are slick and gliding against each other. It's so hot in here. I can't get enough. I need more... Anything. Everything. I reach around and dig my nails into his back to feel more of him.

"Yes. Show me how much you love my cock in you. Fucking you senseless."

My legs wrap tighter around him and I writhe wildly against him, my heels digging into his ass. My nails are clawing at his back and his hands are grabbing my ass and our tongues are battling a war. The door is getting noisy, rattling and squeaking, but I don't care. I don't care who hears.

"You're so fucking wet. Feels so amazing," he growls while he pumps into me with abandon.

"Yes. Amazing. So good!"

"Play with your clit. Reach down and rub your clit. Now!"

I look him in the eyes as I slowly lower my hand down. He thrusts faster as he watches me play with myself. I look down and the sight of him sliding in and out of me is almost too much. I squeeze my eyes shut and press harder on my clit.

"Oh, god. Jasper!"

"Play with your pussy. That's it. I want you to come, Isabella. Come on my dick while I pound into your sweet pussy."

Faster. Faster. He grabs my ass tighter and pushes himself deeper, filling me completely. I know I'll bruise, but I couldn't care less. I feel my orgasm building. The pain is so good. Our noises are getting louder. He's grunting with each thrust. I lower my head and muffle my screams into his shoulder.

"I feel you. I feel your pussy throbbing, getting ready to milk my dick. You want it harder?"

He thrusts harder into me. One solid pump and my whole body convulses. I squeeze my eyes shut, stars bursting behind my eyelids as my body erupts, filling me with ecstasy. Spiraling out of control. Nirvana.

"Shit!" he moans pumping into me deeper and harder. His forehead is resting against mine and he's staring at me with lust-filled eyes. His movements are becoming more and more sporadic. I know he's close, so I grind hard onto him, up and down, back and forth, impaling myself on his dick.

He lets out a loud growl into my ear and pumps a few more times before stopping. Holy shit.

We stand there, panting and staring at each other for some time. Minutes. Hours. Who knows. Who cares. I decide to break the silence.

"This changes nothing," I say while unwrapping my legs from around him and lowering myself to the ground.

"Who said it would?" He gives me that stupid smirk and I slap it right off of his face. He looks shocked and grabs his cheek.

"God, I've wanted to do that for so long." I smile wistfully and pull my pants up.

"You look like shit. Like you've been thoroughly fucked." He pulls up his pants and straightens his shirt. It's no use. It's wrinkled and sweaty. His curly hair is matted to his head. Stupid fucking Jasper.

I scoff, "I don't know why I would look like I've been thoroughly fucked; your dick was subpar at best."

He laughs and roughly grabs my ass as he reaches for the stall door. "Good game, Swan. The fucking could use some improvement though."

I reach out to punch him, but he quickly shuts the door before I can reach him. I hear his footsteps as he dashes to the door to escape an ass beating. Dickmuncher.

I walk out of the stall and examine myself in the mirror. Ugh. I pull my hair back and put it in a messy bun. My mascara has run a bit, so I wet my fingers with water and gently wipe away the raccoon eyes. I reach in my pocket, grab my lip gloss and reapply. Surprisingly my shirt isn't that wrinkled. I look pretty good, decent enough to face my friends. Hopefully they'll be too drunk to notice anything. Walking to my table, I sigh in relief. They're shitfaced.

I sit down and join in on the conversation, nobody none the wiser. After 15 minutes or so, Jasper and a few of his teammates come to our table and join us. I flush with excitement and nod to the waitress across the room. She knows the signal. She nods back and slowly makes her way over to our table.

"Which one of you's Jasper Whitlock?" the waitress asks. "You have mail."

She drops an envelope onto the table and walks away. Emmett, nosey fucker that he is, quickly snatches it up. _Just like I planned_, I smile to myself.

His eyes widen in surprise. "Oh shit, Jasper! I... Whoa!"

The whole table stops talking and looks in Jasper's direction to see what's going on.

Jasper looks confused and takes the envelope out of Emmett's hands, reading aloud what it says.

"'Compulsive Masturbation Group Support'? What the hell?"

The table erupts into laughter and Jasper drops his head, looking mortified. Oh yeah. My job is done here, folks. I can now die a happy woman.

"This isn't mine! I don't know where this came from!"

His denial provokes the group even more.

"Sure, buddy. It has your name on it... But it's not yours!" Emmett claps him on the shoulder and lets out a loud, booming laugh.

Jasper mumbles to himself, probably trying to figure out what the hell's going on. Suddenly his head snaps up and his eyes squint at me as realization dawns on him.

I smile seductively at him and mouth the words, "Game on, Whitlock."

------------

**coachlady1 is my beta and works her ass of fixing my many mistakes. She reedz and spels guud. Shes awsum.**

**Thanks for reading! Don't forget to vote! Smooches! ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

**So I got a quite a few requests to continue with this story and what my readers want, they get... well, except for Jasper's peen. That shit is all mine, homie. *lick lips* I have a basic idea of where I want this baby to go, but have no plot line whatsoever! Haha! I'm pretty much wingin' it one sentence at a time, so if you have any suggestions or requests, I just may throw them in here ^_^**

**For future reference, here are pictures of Bella's pajamas and robe that she's lounging around in. Close the spaces...**

**PJ's:**

**http: // www . purepajamas . com / images / pajama / coll_basics_04 . jpg # 214,321**

**Robe:**

**http:// www . pajamamania . com / media / FJ41DUC9 . jpg # 500,500**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did, Jasper's balls would be in my face right now. And I damn sure wouldn't be dodging them!**

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Now that the season's over, I don't know what to do with myself. No dodgeball. No Jasper. I mean, I don't miss _Jasper_, of course, that's not what I mean at all. That's just stupid, thinking I miss dumb ass Jasper. I just miss fucking with him and seeing his face when I pwn him. I love that face. It's the same. Every. Single. Time. I think I'll take a picture of my favorite face the next time he makes it and have the comical photo made into a T-shirt. Maybe a calendar, too, because that would be awesome.

My mind—against my will, I might add—keeps replaying that night at the bar. Stupid Jasper with his fantastorific sex. God, I loathe him.

Here it is, Saturday, and I have absolutely nothing to do. Maybe one of my teammates will be able to hang out because I really don't want to spend the night alone. I pick up my phone and scroll through the contacts. Hmmm... let's see if Meghan is free. She's a little loopy, but always up for a good time.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey Megs. I'm bored as hell, you free tonight?"

_"Aw, dang! I _was_, but SDC just came over, so I'm a little pre-occupied__ if you catch my drift. And by drift, I mean the eye's on the prize." _

SDC is her boyfriend, but she keeps his identity hidden from us. Why? I don't know. Like I said, the girl's a little on the nutty side. No one knows who the hell this SDC is. We've tried guessing, but always come up short. No one has ever seen him, met him or even _talked _to him. I'm starting to think he's a figment of her imagination. Maybe she's been clocked with one too many dodgeballs in her lifetime.

"Alright, well, I'll let you get back to SDC," _your imaginary friend._

_"_Okay! Definitely some other time! Maybe we could go to the zoo and pet some monkeys! A hundred monkeys! Wouldn't that be super fun? Oh, SDC is getting impatient. He plays the trumpet. Gotta go! Bye, Bella!"

I hang up and chuckle, not at all fazed by the craziness that comes out that girl's mouth.

I briefly consider calling Sheena, before remembering that she took a last minute vacation to London. She said she needed to get away and everyone believed her. But I don't. Not one damn bit. Me, personally? I think she's trying to track down Robert Pattinson to possibly kidnap him. Maybe even sneak in a devious sexual act or two while she's at it. Girl is _obsessed_ with the guy, always talking about his sagging pants and his parka peen. She has it _bad._

I'm drawing a blank, I can't think of anyone else to call. Everyone is busy tonight, damn it! I close my eyes and throw my head back to rest on the couch.

_You like this? Me pounding into your hot pussy? Huh?_

I groan loudly as my mind randomly takes me back to that night. I've replayed it so many times, I know every word, every grunt, by heart. And I _hate_ it.

_Yes. Show me how much you love my cock in you. Fucking you senseless._

"Fuuuuck!" _Get out of my head!_

He was so goddamn hot, who knew he had it in him? And who the hell knew he was hiding that supernatural cock in his pants? _Stop it!_ This is Jasper we're talking about, here. _Jasper!_

_It was a one-time thing. That's it. No more mind-blowing sex with your enemies, Bella. Fucking your adversary is _not_ a good look._

It'd been a while since I'd had sex. That's why I keep thinking of him so much. The first decent lay in an embarrassingly long time. That's it. It's normal to think of him constantly because he gave me a great orgasm. Well, _historically-epic_ orgasm is more like it. But that's neither here nor there and you will _never_ think about how good that orgasm was again! _Think about something else, damn it!_

_You're so fucking wet. Feels so amazing._

"GAAAH!"

My phone ringing puts me out of my misery. Thank you, jeebus!

"Hello?"

"Bella, honey! How are you?"

"Hey Mom, I'm fine. How are you?"

"I'm fine, honey. Just a little worn out from this tornado chasing."

"Tornado chasing?"

"Oh! Didn't I tell you? I'm a tornado chaser, now! Isn't that exciting?!"

"Mom, you live in Florida. There aren't any tornadoes in Florida."

"Never?"

"Mom, I don't know if there's _never_ been a tornado there. But if there was, it's probably been like, once or twice in the whole history of the universe."

"Well... hmmm... that changes things."

Her voice is suddenly sullen and I feel horrible for being the one to make her feel that way. Her heart's in the right place. She just needs to learn to _think_ about stupid shit like this before she gets into it.

"Well, maybe you could... I don't know... hurricane chase. Or alligator chase. Catch crawfish or something..."

She sighs loudly into the phone. "I guess so. Oh! Did I tell you? Phil retired and got a coaching job! Isn't that exciting? So now we won't have to move around so much and I can focus on my hobby."

"That's really great, Mom. I'm glad—"

"Speaking of hobbies, I have a surprise for you!"

I smile into the phone. It's so like Renee to cut me off, randomly changing the subject.

"What?"

"Well, it's such a fantastic coincidence! There's this woman who I take Strippercize classes with and she has a son who plays dodgeball, too! He's around your age, and Barbara—that's his mom—Barbara showed me a picture and Bella he is sooo handsome!"

Oh lawd, please don't let this be another attempt at a hookup! This woman is always trying to find my next husband/father of her grandchildren.

"Okay, yeah. Great coincidence, I guess." I couldn't sound more bored if I tried.

"I KNOW! Anyway, I showed her a picture of you. You know that one where you were posing in front of the bathroom in that string bikini I bought you?"

"Mom! You did _not_ show anyone that picture! I took that for fun! You know I'd never wear something like that outside of the—"

"Like I was saying, I showed her the picture and she said you were beautiful and just her son's type! We just so happened to be next to a Kinko's, so she copied the picture and showed it to him. He's ecstatic to meet you!"

"What?! Mom, no! I can't meet some random guy, and just—no! Besides_,_ it's against the rules to fraternize with anyone associated with the Adult Co-Ed Dodgeball League. That includes refs, coaches and _players_." My mind immediately travels back in time to _that_ night. Fraternizing has never been so good. Or hot. _But it will never happen again. No more fraternizing with assholes!_

"Well, phooey. I already gave him your address!"

"What?! You gave a strange, possibly _dangerous_, man my address? Your daughter—your _only child__?!_"

"Well you don't have to be so angry about it! He's a lovely man and I know you two would make gorgeous babies!"

"Oh my God, I'm just gonna hang up and pretend this conversation never took place."

"Well, what am I supposed to tell him?"

"I don't know! Make something up, but I am _not_ going out with him!" I realize that I have no clue when this dude is supposed to be coming over. Hopefully, there's enough time to cancel through Renee. "Mom, when is this guy supposed to be coming over? This month, next month?"

"Hold on, baby, let me look at my calendar. Oh, shoot, where did I put the darn thing? It was just on my—PHIL! PHIL!... HAVE YOU SEEN MY CALEND-- HUH?... WHAT?... OH! WELL, WHAT'S IT DOING THERE?!"

I hear her breathing accelerate as she walks to locate the phantom calendar. "Find it?"

"Hold on, let me seeeee—Aha! Here it is! PHIL! YOU WERE WRONG! IT WAS IN THE REFRIGERATOR!... Okay, Bella, let's have a lookseee... oh! He's coming today!"

My brain is surprisingly vacant. Just totally blanks out...

* * *

"Bella? Honey? You still there?"

"Mooom," I say slowly, as if talking to a child, "you _cannot_ be serious. Why didn't you tell me sooner?! Are you sure it's today?"

"It's right here on my calendar..."

I can't fucking believe this! I just can't fucking believe it!

"What time? What time is this strange, creepy man supposed to be on my doorstep?"

And in some elaborate, cosmic, otherworldly joke, there's a loud knock on my door. _I haven't even fucking changed out of my pajamas! And slutty pajamas at _that_!_

"Oh! Was that a knock on your door?"

Before I say something I regret... "Bye, Mom." I hang up and fight the urge to throw the phone across the room.

_What the fuck am I gonna do?!_

Another knock.

_FUCK!!!_

Okay, I'll answer it. I'll answer it and tell him that this was a mistake. A mistake on behalf of my nosey, hare-brained, meddling mother.

I quickly throw on my bathrobe and tie it before walking to the door to look out of the peephole, only to see nothing but flowers. Calla lilies. _Oooh, I love calla lilies!_ Don't get distracted! Stick to the plan! _No _fraternizing!

I open the door and the flowers drop... and I'm met with the annoying smirk of my foe. My mind is, once again, rendered useless...

* * *

His smirk widens to a full blown smile and my mind snaps back to life. _Oh no. No. No. NO! _

_Seriously, God? Are you serious?!_

"Hello, Swan. Speechless? I'm flattered."

"What the fuck are you doing here, Whitlock?"

"Seems our mothers like to dabble in matchmaking."

He then forces the flowers into my hands and takes it upon himself to waltz into my place like he owns it, slowly spinning around, admiring the room.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

He turns to me, wide eyed. "Did you not want to go on a date?"

"I would rather eat a bowl of fried toenails."

He approaches me in two broad steps and softly runs his fingertips across my shoulders, dipping between my breasts, before languidly lowering his hand to loosen my robe. My eyes hungrily follow his fingers and a light gasp escapes his mouth when my robe slips open. The hunger in his eyes makes me almost boastful that _I'm _the one who did that to him. No one else. At least there'd _better_ not be anyone else! _What the hell does it matter? He's not yours and there will be no more fraternizing, remember?_

"So you would rather stay in... with me?"

_Holy shit..._

* * *

My brain decides to function again when I feel him placing slow, deliberate kisses across my collarbone. My throat betrays me by emitting a low moan.

His hands sweep across my shoulders, knocking my robe to the floor and takes in a quick breath when he sees what was hiding under the fluffy fabric. "Fuuuuck."

I want to say something, anything. Preferably an insult. But my brain isn't cooperating. The only thing my brain is thinking is that I want this man beyond all reason.

_Fraternizing be damned._

He reaches around my body and roughly kneads my ass, his nose gently nudging my neck. "You know, I was planning on being a gentleman today... but you're wearing these little _fucking shorts_, Swan. What'd I tell you about these things? Huh? You _know _what they do to me. Now I'm gonna have to fuck you."

He fists my ponytail and pulls, jerking my head back, gently biting and nipping up and down the column of my neck. He brings a hand around to the front of my body and pushes his fingers into the hem of my panties, softly exploring my lower lips.

"Are you ready for me?"

"Yes." My admission comes out a breathy whisper.

"Turn around. Bend over."

I immediately comply, bending my body and grabbing the back of my love seat for balance. A shiver of anticipation runs through me as I feel his gaze appraising me from behind. His hands are immediately on my ass and hips, rubbing and grabbing. My breathing is accelerating, coming out in quick bursts.

"These _fucking shorts_..."

I hear a loud rip and feel my pajama bottoms fall from my body. I prepare to yell at him for ruining my expensive ass pj's, but the tirade dies in my throat when he enters me. Hard. I yelp in surprise and moan embarrassingly loud as he stretches me, fills me.

He instantly finds his rhythm and takes no mercy as he pounds into me.

"Oh, fuck, Jasper!" I arch my back and meet him thrust for thrust. _I missed this. I _needed_ this._

He grips my hips, fingers digging into my skin as he pushes me lower, creating a new angle. I whimper loudly at the depth, the friction causing flames to lick the length of my body.

"We don't have to be quiet now, do we? I can make you scream as loud as I want, let everyone know I'm fucking you."

"Harder!"

I know this won't last long. The need is palpable. He needed me as much as I needed him.

His hips crash violently into me as he slides in and out of my center. The cacophony of our passion blaringly loud, enveloping the silence of the room.

"Did you miss this? Miss my cock in you?"

"God, _yes_!"

He swiftly pulls out of me and flips me around. I lean my shoulders against the back of the loveseat and throw my legs around him as he enters me savagely, gripping my ass to hold me up and thrusting harder than before.

"Fuck, you feel so _fucking_ good." His fingertips dig painfully into my hips, low grunts and growls rumbling in his chest.

I'm so close, so teasingly close. He's so deep, so hard.

"So good. Don't stop!"

So intense. The pleasure is almost unbearable. I want it to end and never want it to stop. I need more.

"I want you to come with me, Isabella." Beads of sweat are dripping from his forehead, dampening his blonde locks. _So sexy._

He's relentless, thrusting faster, harder deeper. I feel him twitch inside of me. _I did that. Only me._

Finally the torture abruptly ends, the coils inside of me bursting into flames before releasing and blasting powerful waves of ecstasy into every cell in my body.

"_YES!!!_"

One more thrust and he throws his head back, muscles tensing, face contorting, a low moan oozing out of his luscious lips.

He falls to the floor, taking me with him, sitting in his lap with my legs wrapped around him, his softening length still inside of me.

We sit there in silence catching our breath, basking in our post-orgasmic glow.

He breaks the silence with a chuckle. "I knew I could make you scream my name again."

"Shut up. I hope your penis dies."

We're silent again and as my eyes grow heavy, I can't help but wonder what this all means...

------------

**A/N:**

**So there ya have it! What'd ya think? Should they try a relationship or agree to be fuck buddies?**

**Thank you all for your reviews and support for my one shot. And thank you for loving it so much that you wanted to read more of our favorite couple :-)**

**Huge thanks to my beta coachlady1. I seriously don't know what the fuck I'd do without her. If you like Edward/Bella stories, you need to check hers out. It's called Dangerous Corporate Liaisons and her Edward has a MONSTER peen. The thing is _massive_, ya'll!**

**If you haven't read my new one shot, Three's Company, head on over to my profile. It's a dirty Jasper/Bella/Alice threesome. Kinky.**

**Oh! This story and my other Jasperlicious one shot, Dirty Movie, have been nominated for a few Everything Is Bigger In Texas Awards. Go on and vote for me, it'll make Jasper's peen throb. Yummy.**

**http:// spreadsheets . google . com / viewform?formkey = **

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **

**So, it seems as though the general ****consensus**** is that you all want our favorite couple to be fuck buddies with no strings attached... *shakes head in disgust* you guys are a bunch of pervs. Nasty, filthy pervs! *says the girl who zooms in on pictures of Jackson to try and see his peen***

**I don't own Twilight. If I did****, I would be doing really dirty things with Jasper right about now. I'm talking, things so filthy, I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror anymore. But who needs a mirror when you have Jasper's peen? A pretty fair tradeoff, I say.**

A loud, annoying noise jogs me out of my sleep. I wake up groggy, sore and incredibly annoyed at whatever the fuck is making that goddamn sound. The room is dark, shrouded in shadows, but I can tell I'm on the floor of my living room. _Why did I fall asleep on the floor?_

I lift my head slightly to look around... _Jasper?!_ What the fuck is _he_— Oh. Yeah. I roll my eyes and try to shake the fog out of my brain. What in the _hell_ is that noise?

My mind finally catches up and connects the dots. _This fucker is snoring!_ But not just regular _human_ snoring, no, of course Jasper has to take his stupid annoyingness to a whole other level and snore like a fucking volcano erupting next to a chainsaw factory. What the fuck is a healthy, lanky, twenty-something-year-old man doing snoring like this? I mean, really. What. The. Fuck?! This shit isn't normal, it can't be. He must have some kind of extreme illness. Can douchebaggery be diagnosed as a disease? Maybe it causes excessive snoring along with douchelord tendencies. I have the urge to karate chop his throat for being such a dicksnot, even in his sleep. Fucker just can't take a break from tormenting me!

Then, as if the heavens parted and shone a light down on my medulla oblongata, I get an idea. I have Jasper asleep and at my mercy! _Squee!_ I slowly, silently, rise off of the floor and tiptoe to the kitchen to look at the microwave clock. Two-twelve a.m. Oh yes. Plenty of time before he wakes up. My inner bitch laughs maniacally, throwing her head back, wringing her hands together in anticipation. I grab his car keys and head for the door.

_I have work to do..._

By the time four o'clock rolls around, my work is finally done. Stupid Jasper, making me stay up this late to pull all of these stunts. If he wasn't such a damn shitbiscuit, I wouldn't have to do this. I could be sleeping right now.

I kinda feel bad for little Riley, though. But I mean, what's he doing with a cricket farm anyway? That's kind of a dumb science project, so really, I did him a favor. Now he'll have the chance to do something cool. I hope Jasper likes the cricket colony I dumped into his car. _Teehee_. I can't wait to hear his car when he starts it up—hopefully I cut the potato right. Placing it in his tailpipe should produce a beautiful, obnoxiously loud whistle. And every time he makes a turn or hits a bump on the road, the marbles in a tin can taped to the underside of his driver's seat should make a nice rattling noise. No doubt he'll think something is falling apart in his car. I would pay money to see his face when the mechanic pulls the offending can from under his seat. _Bwahahaha!_

I am so awesome.

I quietly reenter my house, hoping that Jasper hasn't woken up yet. How can I explain my absence at four in the freakin' morning? Thankfully, I don't have to worry long. I hear his loud-ass snoring as soon as I get in the door. Spunkwizard.

Quickly dressing back into my pajama top—and nothing else—I lay back down on the floor in my previous position. It's uncomfortable as fuck, and Jasper's snoring could send Ghandi on a murderous rampage, but I'm so tired, I'm falling back asleep almost instantly.

"Swaaan,"

"Hmmm?..."

"Wake uuuup..."

"Nuh-uh... mmmmm..."

"You like that? Kinky even in your sleep, I see."

Finally semi-awake, I feel Jasper's long fingers pumping in and out of me. Heaven. He pulls my top up and flicks his tongue over my nipple. _Oh yes._

"I can't get enough of you, Swan. What the fuck are you doin' to me?" His voice is low and gravelly, muffled by my breast in his mouth.

I have no legitimate answer at the moment, so I just concentrate on the feeling of his tongue on and fingers in me. I roll my hips in time with his fingers as he picks up the pace. I should be embarrassed by how loud I'm moaning, but I'm too tired to care.

So close.

"More," I whisper, desperate for release.

I feel him shift and suddenly he's above me. "This is gonna be fast..."

He thrusts into me fully and I cry out as he begins his assault, taking no mercy while he plunges into me repeatedly, thoroughly stretching me like no other. I'll never tire of the way this man feels, the weight of his body on top of mine. He sits up on his knees, puts my legs together and throws them over one of his shoulders, creating a deliciously new sensation. We both moan simultaneously at the depths he's reaching as he grabs my ass and slides into me harder and faster than before.

"Oh _fuck_." Faster. "_This_ is _mine_. Do you hear me? Fucking _mine_." Harder. He leans forward and I feel him go impossibly deeper.

"Shitshitshit!"

My flesh is searing, lava smoldering through my body as I look at the man above me. Eyes closed, mouth parted, glistening muscles coiling with every thrust, straining and bunching beneath his tanned skin.

"I'm so close..." I clench myself around him, squeezing and releasing in time with his hips.

"Damn, girl!"

He licks his thumb and lowers it to my clit, rubbing in jolting, hasty circles.

Harder.

My climax finally claims me, taking me by surprise as it viciously crashes through me, my back arching off the floor in ecstasy, nails digging unmercifully into Jasper's forearms.

He follows quickly behind me, grunting loudly, tipping his head back as he tightly grips my thighs, erection stiffening, plunging deeper as he releases into me.

He falls in a heap on the floor, both of us gasping desperately for air.

"You can't get enough of this, huh?" he gloats, chest heaving as his breathing tries to regulate itself.

"Do you _ever_ shut the fuck up? Just... Shut. Up." I hiss, annoyed that he's fucking up the blissful effects of my post-orgasm weightlessness.

"You want me again, don't you?"

"Think again, cuntbrick. I've given enough pity fucks for the day."

"Want me to make you breakfast?"

_Huh?!_

"Uh... _what?_"

"You heard me."

"You cook?"

"Just like Mama taught me." He grins widely. I roll my eyes to keep from swooning at his stupid dimples.

He rolls over and grabs his cell phone, tinkering with it and pressing buttons. "I need a few special ingredients. If I make a list, can you run to the store while I set everything up here?"

Hmmm, a home-cooked meal that I don't have to make... and Jasper will be the one slaving in the kitchen? Sounds like a damn good win-win situation. _But I'm not paying. _

"Give me the money for the groceries. You offered; you're buying."

Reaching into his wallet, he pulls out a $50 and hands it to me. "You got a paper and pen?"

I smack my lips in annoyance. "Just text me what you need."

"I don't have your number..."

"You tryin' to be slick?"

"How would I be? I need your number to text you. Common Sense 101."

"Fuck you, skeetbandit." I quickly recite my number and he programs it into his phone.

After brushing my teeth and throwing on some clothes, I grab my keys and yell, "You'd better not steal my shit!" before slamming the door behind me.

_Hmmm, that's weird. I could have sworn I parked in a different spot._

I get the text from Jasper and roll my eyes. I'll have to go to the specialty store for this fancy-shmancy shit. Pretentious asshole.

I adjust my seat and mirrors before pulling out of the parking spot. While on the road, I hear a weird scratching noise coming from somewhere in my car. I turn the radio down and try to pinpoint where it's coming from because it's really fucking distracting. After about ten more minutes, I deduce that it's coming from the glove compartment. Leaning over and opening the hatch, a big, fat, gelatinous rat plops out and splats onto the passenger seat. I scream and yell, eyes popping out of my head as I try to claw my way out before remembering I'm _in a fucking car. _I have to keep control of the wheel before I kill somebody.

The rat is scurrying around in the seat, sniffing and moving closer to me. I'm shrieking and wailing like a crazy person, trying to keep my eyes on the disgusting creature _and_ the road. The ugly thing lifts its tail and takes a rat dump on the center console. My stomach lurches and I'm white-knuckling the steering wheel, trying to concentrate on _not_ murdering myself today. Apparently the flabby thing doesn't like the sound of my hysteria because it turns toward me and scowls, hissing and bearing its big, crooked teeth. My screaming climbs to an ear-splitting octave and my bladder is threatening to leak out its contents all over my cute butt jeans.

Suddenly I feel so fucking stupid. _Pull over, duh!_ I swiftly pull my car to the side of the road, forgetting to use my signal or even check for nearby cars. I hear tires screeching against the pavement in every direction around me, but as long as there are no accidents, I don't give a damn.

Finally reaching the side lane, I abruptly brake and throw myself out of the car. I'm screaming and running in circles and thrashing my hands through my hair and doing the "potty dance," trying to get the rat-ness out of my body.

A police cruiser pulls up behind my car and an officer warily gets out. "Everything okay, ma'am?"

"NO! NO! A rat! A fucking rat! I'm gonna kill him! Asshole! I hate him! Breakfast and rats! He moved my car! I _knew_ he fucked with it! Fancy food and specialty stores! He set me up! Breakfast my ass! A RAT!!! GET IT OUT!!!"

I bend my body forward and throw my hair in front of me, shaking it wildly, hopping from foot to foot, yelping neurotically.

In a flash, my body is pressed against my car, my cheek smooshed into the metal.

"Are you high, ma'am? Are you on drugs?"

"What?! NO! NO! There's a _rat_ in my car! Please get it out! Please!"

I feel him slip cool metal cuffs onto my wrists. "What are you doing? I'm not on drugs! Check my car, I'm telling the truth!"

"Alright, I'll check. But I'm going to put you in the back seat of my cruiser in case you're hallucinating."

"Is this going on my record? I've never been in a police car before."

"If you're telling the truth, no."

He walks me to his vehicle and helps me inside, closing the door before walking back to my car.

Two hours later and I'm on my way home. I'm gonna kick his ass. Oh, I'm gonna kick his ass so good, his _grandkids_ are gonna feel it.

I speed back home, never letting up on the gas, getting more and more pissed with every mile that passes. Fucker thinks he can mess with me? _Me?!_ Well, we'll see about that. A fucking rat. A huge, infant-sized rat. In my car! I should have known he was up to something, offering me breakfast. He isn't a decent enough human being to cook breakfast for someone else. Prick. He must have snuck out while I was sleeping. Why the hell didn't this scenario pop into my head? If I could mess with his shit, he could easily mess with _mine_. I knew my car was moved from where I parked it last night.

He fucked with my seat, too! I never have to adjust shit, 'cause I'm the only one who uses it! I need to pay more attention to shit. He caught me with my guard down. That shit won't happen again. Hell no. Never again.

I'm finally home and I notice Jasper's car is conveniently missing. Smart. He knew an ass kicking was a-comin'.

I need a nap. A hot shower and a nap. When I open the door, my mouth drops open wide enough to catch flies. Slowly walking into my house, I look around in disbelief. All of my furniture is wrapped in fucking Christmas wrapping paper. _My furniture is wrapped!_ Even my goddamn TV remote! Sparkly, shiny, bright-eyed Santa and his faithful reindeer are everywhere! What kind of fuckery is this?

Keeping my eyes on my furniture, unable to look away, I pull out my cell and type out a quick and simple text message to the bane of my existence:

_Your ass is grass._

**A/N:**

**So... yeah... still wingin' it. And as you can clearly tell, I have no posting schedule. Just randomly write when the mood strikes. Though I rarely go longer than a week to update any of my stories, so no worries that you'll have to wait until 2017 for the next chapter.**

**Any ideas or suggestions for the next chapter's events? Let me know!**

**If you haven't reviewed yet, go on ahead and do so. Even a simple smiley face or a quick "I like it" will make me squeal and clap gleefully.**

**A bunch of my stories are up for nominations in the Total Eclipse of the Heart Awards. Jasper agreed to have a sexting session with anyone who votes for me. Srsly. Voting will start really soon!**

**http:// totaleclipseoftheheartaward . weebly . com/vote . html**

**I'm on Twitter. Don't really know WTF I'm doing. Maybe I'll start posting teasers or something (?) some skank already took the name tiffaninichole, so I came up with something even more incredibly awesome: Tiffnificent. Pimp shit.**

**The other day, I looked up "Best, most sparkly-est, big brained beta in the history of the world" and coachlady1's picture popped up on the screen. It's true! *nods head***

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, first thing's first... look at my avatar. Just... LOOK at that shit! How is such white-hot blinding sexiness possible? How is it humanly fucking possible?!?!?! Look at it, savor it, relish it—BASK in that shit! Lick it. Masturba—wait, what? Um... I was gonna say masturbawn. Because masterbawn is **_**totally **_**a real word *hides dictionary from you***

JPOV

Damn girl, thinks she's slick. I don't know what the fuck she's up to, but I know one damn thing. Swan won't know what hit her when she realizes that she's no match for me. I'm the fucking _master _of this shit.

She brought this on her damn self. When my mom showed me the picture of Swan, I _knew_ I had to agree to the date, just to fuck with her. The look on her face when she opened the door was... priceless. I wanted to do the jig and yell "I WIN!" but I kept my cool and it paid off with a nice, sweaty romp in the middle of her living room. Girl sure knows how to work it. _Goddamn._ After the fantastic fuckin' she gave me, I was gonna be nice. But when I cracked my eyes open and saw her shadowy form grabbing my keys and heading for the door... well, I knew it was time play. She bought my fake ass snoring, just like I knew she would. Predictable.

As soon as the door silently shuts behind her, I get up and get to business. First, I start with the kitchen. I take out all of the drawers and proceed to put them back in random places. Looking for the knives, Swan? Oh, sorry, your coupon drawer is here, instead. Better luck next time!

Spices are next. I empty out all of the contents into little Dixie cups and then pour each seasoning into a different tube. Salt becomes cayenne pepper, meat tenderizer becomes pepper, etc, etc. It feels weird as hell to be doing this butt-ass naked, but hell, if she comes back, I wanna be able to hurry back to the floor and keep up the sleeping façade.

I don't know what time she'll be back and I don't wanna push my fucking luck, so I jog back to the living room, dick flingin' around, and lay on the floor in my previous position. Some time later, she slinks her fine ass through the front door and I begin "snoring" again. I almost forget to keep up the act when she slowly walks back into the room wearing nothing but that silky top. _Goddamn, she's sexy as fuck!_ When she falls asleep, I beat my dick like it stole somethin'. After blowing my load, I stealthily sneak out and grab the rat from my trunk. It's rotund, flabby ass jiggling as I lift it out of its cage. Damn, this fucker's fat. At least five damn pounds. Swan is gonna piss herself! After stuffing the hissing, obese rat into her glove compartment, I sneak back into the house and fall asleep, patting myself on the back.

-------------

I wake up a few hours later to see the sun rising, beaming all on her buttery ass skin and I'm instantly hard. I have to fucking have her again. What the fuck is she doing to me? I'm _never_ affected like this by females. Fucking Swan, goddamn voodoo Priestess.

I wake her up and the sex is amazing as ever. She's so fucking silky and hot. Plus, it _does _stroke my sensitive male ego that she's always so fucking wet and ready for me and only me. Well, it _better_ be for only me, goddamn it! Not that it fucking matters or anything... I just don't wanna catch crabs or some shit. Though I wouldn't put it past her to purposely catch crabs for the sole purpose of passing them on to me.

When I offer to make her breakfast, her little eyes get to glittering and shit and I kinda feel bad about what I'm about to do. Just a smidgeon. I quickly look at my phone and check the traffic in the area. I'll send her somewhere with congested traffic, so she won't be able to get away from the fleshy, shitty rodent. An added bonus is it'll give me more time to wrap her "presents."

So, yeah, it was hard as hell to find Christmas paper in the summer and I ended up spending over 200 bucks at the only place in town that sold it. Swan's living room is gonna be decked out in vintage, one of a kind wrapping paper. Was my spending hundreds on that stupid shit a little excessive? Possibly. Worth it? Hell. Yes.

A few paper cuts and seventeen rolls of tape later and I'm all done. Shit took longer than I anticipated. I'd never wrapped gifts before and I underestimated how hard wrapping fucking _furniture_ would be. Shit's frustrating and time consuming as all hell, but it'll pay off in the end. Her rage is my life fuel. I _live _for that shit.

She should be back any minute, now, so I skedaddle. When I open my car door, hundreds of crickets tumble out and jump all over me.

"THE FUCK?!" I brush my hands all over my body and wipe them off of me. They fall to the ground, their bodies making weird splattering noises as they hit the pavement. _Fucking Swan._ Looking up, I see there's more where that came from. Fucking _thousands _of those things are in my car! I don't have the time to sweep them out 'cause the succubus will be pulling up any fucking second now. I get in and crunch a few critters under the weight of my ass. Even more crunching when I step on the gas. The hell? What the fuck is wrong with my car?! Crickets probably fucked up something! Everyone on the street is staring as I drive by, the loud ass whistling drawing the attention of everyone in a five mile radius. Shit is _loud._

I hurriedly turn a corner and a loud ass rattling comes from the underside of my fucking car. What. The. Fuck?!?!?! Did she fuck with something under there? Loosen some screws or something? I know the girl hates me, but I didn't think she wanted my ass dead. I gotta hurry up and get to a fucking mechanic before this girl kills me. Really fucking _kills_ me!

While I rush to the nearest car shop, the bastard ass crickets are in a frenzy, jumping in my face, on my shoulders, my head. I'm constantly batting them away, trying to focus on the road. I hear my phone ping, signaling a text message. I dig in my pocket and my fingers squish a few crickets in the process of digging it out. I cringe a little 'cause that shit is gross as hell. I open the text and light up like a Christmas tree when I read what it says:

_Your ass is grass._

So I see she found my gifts. A few crickets take advantage of my smiling, open mouth by trying to jump in.

"ARGH!" I sputter and spit them out, dragging my tongue across the inside of my shirt to clean off the cricket taste. _Fucking Swan._ Finally at the mechanic's, everyone inside the shop comes outside. It wouldn't be hard to hear me fucking coming. With all the goddamn whistlin' and rattlin', I sound like a fucking marching band or some shit.

When I get out of the car, I bring an avalanche of crickets with me. A few people snicker, some raise their eyebrows. Others have the decency to try and keep a straight face. I explain the noises and am told to wait in the waiting area until they figure out the problem.

-------------

Four hours later and someone finally comes to get me.

He has a weird expression on his face. Fuck. Not good. "Hey man. So, what's the damage?"

"Uh, there was no damage."

"What? You heard me pull up here, something is wrong with my fucking car, someone's trying to _kill _me!" I'm furious. Fucking good for nothing assholes!

He smirks and holds up a potato and a can. "Looks like someone played you, dude."

_Motherfuckin' Swan!_

------------

**A/N: **

**So yeah. This was supposed to be an 800 word or so bribe. You know the drill. "Leave me a review and I'll send you Jasper's POV!" type shit. But the damn thing turned into its own freakin chapter and I couldn't cut it short! So this is a bonus chapter, if you will, just for you. Yeah, I know. I'm awesome. :-)**

**Chapter 3 alone got 29 reviews! Holy crap! Let's see if you can be even **_**more **_**awesome and beat that record! If you haven't reviewed yet, do it! You know you want to... *looks from beneath my lashes and seductively rubs your thigh***

**Check out my dumb ass crackfic, I Suck At Summaries. I LOL while writing it. It's ridiculously stupid. I'm warning you.**

**Twitter me! I'm getting better (i.e. addicted) and wanna be friends so I can talk dirty to you :-P The name's Tiffnificent.**

**I asked coachlady1 to marry me, but she turned me down. Some bullshit about it not working out because we're both straight. *rolls eyes* Excuses, excuses.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**

_**--SUPER-DUPER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT--**_

**Voting has begun for the Public Lovin' Contest. If you've read me & Kitty Cullen-03's collab and liked it, please vote! If you haven't read it yet... why the hell not? Go to my profile and click on **_**Three's Company**_**. Read that Jasper deliciousness... and then go vote *snickers***** Voting has now been moved to the contests FFn profile. I'm definitely happy about that, since I suspect a certain someone-who-will-remain-nameless was cheating their ass off and voting for themselves a ridiculous amount of times. Yes, it was **_**that**_** obvious.**

**http://www . fanfiction . net/u/2334596/**

_**--END OF SUPER-DUPER IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT--**_

**Remember in the first chapter when Emmett said Bella was 22? We're gonna pretend that didn't happen, mmmkay? She's 26.**

**Here's Bella's concert dress. Saucy!**

**http:// cdn . flirtcatalog . com/images/product/medium/35/354194_1_ . jpg**

**I don't own Twilight. If I did, I would most likely be humping one of Jasper's body parts. Preferably his ****peen****. But I'm not picky... I'd take the ****face****, too.**

------------

Thanks to dumb ass Jasper, I now have sticky tape residue on damn near every surface of my living room. That shit is so annoying, gathering dust and looking all filthy and shit. After filling his inbox with threatening voicemails and sending him plenty of text messages promising a slow and painful death, I decided to stop wasting my time. He's obviously put my number on ignore or some shit. Hell, he was probably laughing his ass off while reading my texts. Pubecake.

While I'm scrubbing the bajesus out of my end table, my phone rings. _Hmmm, I don't recognize the number._

Usually I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. Growing up with a flaky mom like Renee made me the queen of dodging unwanted calls... and the Rent-A-Center guys.

But something in my gut is urging me to answer. So I do.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

What the hell? How did he get my number?

"Edward?" I ask hesitantly.

I have to force myself to stay in the present, to not travel back to that dark place so many years ago.

"Yeah, it's me! Wow, you sound great!"

I roll my eyes and plop down on my couch, closing my eyes tightly. "How did you get my number, Edward?"

He laughs into the phone—that cocky, annoying laugh that I eventually grew to loathe toward the end of our relationship. "Seriously, Bella? I'm Edward fucking Cullen. All I had to do was make a call and your number was in my hands fifteen minutes later."

"Wow. That's great. Humble as always, I see," I reply dryly.

"I see you still hate me. It kills me. What I did to you... it kills me, Bella."

"Don't, Edward. Don't." I squeeze my eyes tighter, until I see stars bursting behind my lids.

There's a long awkward pause and I'm tempted to just hang up. I don't need this shit and I especially don't need it from Edward of all people.

He breathes deeply into the phone, as if bracing himself to say something of significance. _Uh-oh. _"I miss you."

I stay silent. What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? He misses me _now?_ _Four_years later?!

"Bella, I know I don't deserve it, but I would love to take you to dinner tonight."

"Tonight? You're in town?"

"Just until tomorrow morning. I had to rearrange some things to stay longer than scheduled, but it would all be worth it if you went out with me."

I huff loudly. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Edward."

"I don't have any expectations, it'll be completely innocent. I just really want to see you. Please say yes, please say you'll go."

"I can't. Maybe some other time. Bye, Edward." I hang up, nipping any of his protests in the bud.

Who the fuck does he think he is? Calling me after four years and expecting me to just ditch my life at the drop of a hat for him? After what he put me through?! The nerve.

I need to get out of here. Take a jog or something. No, fuck that. I don't feel like jogging. Grocery shopping. Yes, I'll go grocery shopping. I need something to help with this damn tape residue, anyway. Fucking Jasper.

For some reason, the words "fucking" and "Jasper" make me think naughty thoughts. _Yeah, wonder why. _My body trembles slightly, thinking about our last encounter. I don't understand the control that man has over me. I hate him, but I can't deny him anything. Especially sex. God, the sex is so mind-numbingly... _superb_. I seriously can't think of a word adequate enough, but superb comes close enough. I could fuck him every hour of every day and still want more. What is it about his stupid ass that affects me this way? Why am I even _thinking_ about him?! I'm not gonna give that faglord the satisfaction. Not even in my subconscious thoughts.

As I pull into the grocery store parking lot, I distract myself by thinking of things I need.

-Bread

-Milk

-Eggs

-Pop Tarts

-Laundry Detergent

-Jasper

-Lunch meat

_Wait a minute._ I _know_ I didn't just... I shake my head roughly and growl in annoyance, garnering a few side-eyes from my fellow shopping patrons.

_Well fuck _you_, assholios! Haven't you ever seen a girl who's fucked her enemy repeatedly and is now trying to purge him out of her brain, before?!_

_Stupids._

As I near the cereal aisle, I hear some girl giggling. The kind of giggle that's reserved for that special guy. Why can't I find someone to make me giggle like a fool? Why do my "relationships" have to be so damn complicated?

Another giggle followed by a high-pitched squeal. "Jasper! Stop!"

My ears immediately perk up. Jasper?! Jasper making a girl giggle?! I hastily shove a few boxes of Froot Loops out of my way and peek into the adjacent aisle. My breath catches in my throat as I spot Jasper's retreating form with his arm flung lazily over some trollop's shoulders. There's no doubt in my mind that it's him. The hair, the height, the _swag._

I realize I've been holding my breath and let out a big gush of air before my breathing picks up triple time. He's with someone? Why? He was _just_ with me! What the hell? Why would he do this? It's not like we're in a relationship, but _still_. I feel tears prick my eyes and I dig the heels of my palms into my eye sockets.

_No._ I will _not _cry. I will _not _show weakness. He will _not _affect me. I have no reason to be jealous. I'm _not_ jealous. He's _nothing_ to me and I'm nothing to him.

That thought makes me feel a little queasy, but I ignore it.

We hate each other and we fuck. Simple as that. Period. Nothing else. Nada. No feelings at all. At. Fucking. All.

I don't need groceries right now. Groceries can wait. I have plenty of groceries at home. I don't need groceries today. _Stop thinking the word "groceries," damn!_

While driving home, my mind is gloriously blank. It's almost as if I'm on auto-pilot. Braking when I need to brake. Merging when I need to merge. Stopping when I need to stop. Before I know it, I'm home. I distract myself by dusting and organizing anything that can be dusted and/or organized. I scrub until my fingers hurt and then switch to the other hand. This is good. My house is literally sparkling. As I look around and try to find something to do in the living room, I spot that stupid fucking tape residue. It needs to go. It needs to be out of my sight, out of my mind and out of my _life _ASAFP.

I grab some Kaboom, Mr. Clean Cleaning Pads and SOS pads. This shit is _going_ come up. _Now._

As I scrub, my mind drifts to thoughts of Jasper and I scrub harder. Her flirty giggle. His arm affectionately around her. Them walking together so comfortably. I'd never have that with him.

_Stop it!_

I pause my scrub-fest and yank my phone off its charger, deciding the one person who could hopefully make me forget—Edward.

The phone rings as soon as I pick it up, foiling my plans.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Bella, thank goodness you're home!"

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"Well... don't be mad, honey."

"Why would I be mad?"

"Barbara, you know, your dodgeball boyfriend's mom? Well—"

"He's _not_ my boyfriend, Mom. In fact—"

"She bought you two tickets for the 99 Apes concert tonight. I tried talking her out of it, because, well... you know. But there is just no talking sense into that woman!"

_Sounds familiar_.

"No, Mom."

"Bella, please! She's so excited for you and her son to go out and he's a huge fan of 99 Apes."

_Fuck her precious son. _"No."

"You'll be doing me such a big favor. Your mother. Who adores you. Who suffered through seventy-nine hours of labor and had to have a hysterectomy because you made her uterus flip inside out when she had you. Which was blindingly painful, by the way."

Guilt. Shit gets me every damn time. "Fine, Mom." My voice sounds defeated.

"Great! Now, I have to go, honey. I have an extreme ironing competition that I need to prepare for tonight!"

"Mom, what the hell is extreme ironing? And what happened to tornado/hurricane/crawdad/alligator chasing?"

"It was boring and alligators are creepy and big and mean. I found out about extreme ironing and have been hooked ever since."

"Ever since? Mom, that wasn't even a few days ago. And you didn't answer my question. What is it?"

"Oh! It's so fun! It's ironing, but under extreme conditions. Like on the edge of a cliff or bungee jumping or skydiving—"

"Wait, how on Earth do you iron while falling out of a plane?"

She huffs loudly. "It's called skills, Bella, and I have them. I'm bringing home the gold tonight!"

"Um. That's great?"

"I know! It's _so_ exciting! You'd better start getting ready, Bella. Your date should be there soon."

_Of fucking course._

"Thanks for the head's up, Mom. Appreciate it."

"You're welcome!" She sounds annoyingly chipper and proud of herself. Renee never _did _get sarcasm.

I wish her luck in her douchebag iron thing-a-ma-jig and hang up. I can't believe this! Damn Renee!

I get off of the couch and stomp to my bathroom, turning on the water and getting in the shower. While washing my hair, I have an epiphany. I can make Jasper insanely jealous! Yes! I'm such a genius! Girls dress slutty at concerts, right? I excitedly shave my legs, mentally going through my wardrobe until I decide on the _perfect_ make-him-drool dress. A white ruched mini dress with a zipper going down the front. Oh, he won't even know what hit him!

I get out of the shower and sloppily put a bunch of braids in my hair before putting it up in a loose bun on top of my head. By the time it dries, my hair will be full and wavy. Next is my makeup. Smoky eyes, pale lips. Done. I rub my shimmery body lotion all over, giving my skin a damn good-looking glow. When I'm done, my hair is still a little damp, so I blast the braided bun with the blow dryer for a few minutes.

I finish that and take the braids down, fluffing my hair out then pull on my dress and slip on my heels.

There's a knock at the door as soon as I grab my clutch. When I open the door, Jasper is wearing his signature smirk, and I try not to stare at his eyes. Or his lips. Or his dimples. His eyes slowly rake over my body and that bitch-ass smirk falls from his lips, eyes bulging comically out of his head. _Mission accomplished._

"Oh my fuckin' god..." He pushes his way into the door and backs me against the entryway wall, slightly tugging on the zipper, burying his face in my neck. _Mmmm, he smells so good._

"You look and smell fucking _amazing_." He pulls the zipper down a few more inches, exposing my breasts and sucking a nipple into his mouth. _Fuck!_

"Mmmm..." My brain is turning to mush.

"I don't know if I can spend hours watching you dance around in this dress. How about we stay in tonight?" He lavishes his attention on my other nipple and lowers his hand to my center, gently massaging me over my panties as I grind myself onto his hand.

"Mmmm..."

_Fuck, I have to have him! _I pull his face to mine, kissing him passionately, fisting his hair and throwing my leg over his hip, pushing myself onto his hardness, moaning into his mouth.

_Oh, no the hell you don't, slut! Focus! How soon you forget that he was _just_ with some bitch at the supermarket!_

My eyes snap open and I grab his hand, smiling sickly sweet while twisting his fingers at a painful angle. He grimaces and my smile broadens. "No thanks, shitdick. I really wanna go to this concert. I think we're gonna have lots of fun!"

I zip up my dress straightening it, making sure nothing is popping out, and walk through the door. Looking over my shoulder at him and giving him what I hope is a sexy look, I teasingly ask, "You coming?"

He straightens out his steel-hard erection and mumbles, "I thought I was," under his breath before following me out into the night.

_Think you can fuck me over? Game on, Whitlock._

-------------

**So I know this took longer than normal and I'm so sorry for that! My hubby's been all clingy and shit lately, so I've had less time to write.**

**Next chapter will be longer, I pinky promise.**

**What do you think Bella has planned for tonight? Hmmm...**

**Check out my Best Domination Ever Contest Entry, Bella's Dirty Notebook. It's my most popular fic ever, which is so awesome! Yay! After you read, be sure to take the poll in my profile :-)**

**coachlady1 is my beta. No autographs, please. She's shy. And by shy, I mean horny.**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**

**I don't own Twilight. If I did,**** Jasper would be eating it like it was his birfday cake.**

As we walk to the parking lot, Jasper's face is comically twisted and he keeps adjusting his... situation... in his pants. It's hard not to just _stare _at it, it's so majestic. I feel almost criminal for letting that hard, wondiferous cock go to waste.

_Hmmm... I've never had him in my mouth... _

_And you _won't_ have him in your mouth. Stick to the damn plan!_

Okay, I'm on a mission. Fuck Jasper _and_ his hard-on. Well, not literally. 'Cause I'm not gonna fuck him. I'm_ not!_ But damn him, I really, really want to. Really, _really _want to. I need a distraction...

The closer we get to his 1970 Chevelle, the more my little plan develops. "Am I riding with you?" I ask.

He looks at me baffled. "Of course. We're not going in separate cars."

_Perfect!_

I shrug and give off my best nonchalant vibe. "Okay."

"Okay? No fight about going in your car, or _you _driving?"

I smile sweetly. He looks scared. _Yes, be afraid, taintsmear._ "Nope."

He goes to open my door, but I push him out of the way and open it myself. Damn sperm-noodle, trying to act like a southern gentleman._ Well I'm on to you, Whitlock. Try that bullshit act on your bitchy whore because _I'm _not falling for it._

While he's walking around to the driver's side, I discreetly check my purse to make sure I have everything I need for tonight. Satisfied, I close my purse before the nosey asshole can see me and ask what I'm doing.

He gets in and starts up the loud-ass car. I never did get why guys like these old-ass deathtraps. You buy the piece of shit and spend thousands fixing it up when you could have just bought a fucking '08 Cadillac and been done with it. Dumbasses.

"So how much did you spend fixing up this piece of crap?"

His eyes tear away from the wheel. "_Excuse me?!_ Piece of crap?! This is a fucking _classic! _Your bitch-ass Honda wants to _be _my car when it grows up. Pffft. Piece of crap my ass. This is solid fucking steel, powerful-ass engine, fast as fuck, as sturdy as they come—"

"Ugh! Shut up! I didn't ask for your car's fucking _E! True Hollywood Story_, damn."

"Damn it, why does everything have to be a fight with you? Let's just... _not _fucking fight tonight. Is that okay with you?"

He looks at me expectantly and looking into those beautiful eyes, I'm so tempted to acquiesce, to do whatever he wants. My stomach is filled with butterflies as I think of what it would be like for us to _really_ be together. No more fighting, just getting to know each other. _Do I want that with him?_

"So how'd you get into dodgeball?"

I guess he took my silence as a "Yes."

I take a deep breath. _Maybe I can try._

"My first love fucked me over and broke my heart. I needed something to distract me—to give me my power back."

"That fuckin' sucks, heartbreak is never easy." He looks at me and smirks, perfect teeth gleaming in the street lights that line the sidewalks. _Those dimples will be my demise._ "But," he continues, "it _did_ bring you into my life, so..."

_Uh, what? Did he seriously just say that?! _

The butterflies begin working triple time. Could he really want to get to know me better? Want me for more than just sex and pranks? Hope blossoms in my chest at the thought.

_No, no, no! This isn't supposed to be happening! No feelings! He's fucking with another tramp, remember? He's _playing_ you!_

Squaring my shoulders, I choose to ignore his comment and reach for the radio. Surprise, surprise. 99 Apes' "Pudding" blasts through the speakers. Could this be any more perfect? He really _is_ a fan! I look around at our surroundings and see that we're nearing our destination. _Time to play._

I turn my body to face Jasper and stare him down... his clear blue eyes, his straight nose, his plump lips, masculine chin, sinewy muscled forearms tightening with every slight turn of the wheel...

"What?" He looks weary as he peeks at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Nothing. You just look really... sexy tonight." And that wasn't a lie. How could a white tee and jeans be so hot?

I reach over and place my hand on the crotch of his pants, lightly squeezing.

"What the—what the hell are you doing?"

I smile innocently and lean my body toward his, bringing my mouth to his ear. "Nothing." He shudders when I flick my tongue over the shell of his ear.

"Swan..."

"Hmmm?" I pull his zipper down and pull his length out, swallowing the drool that threatens to drip out of my mouth at the sight of him, hard as steel for me.

I begin pumping his swollen shaft in my hand while attacking his neck with my mouth, moaning into his skin between bites and licks.

Jasper's head thuds against the headrest and he closes his eyes. I bite his ear. "Eyes open, Whitlock."

I feel him begin to twitch and become even harder under my palm, his lips are parted, head drooping on his shoulder. He's close. _Excellent._

"Oh! We're here!" I pull back and quickly stuff his hardness back into his jeans and zip him up. "I'm so excited! Are you?!" I smile widely at him and clap my hands in excitement before hopping out of the car.

"Come on, slowpoke! Let's go!"

After a few more seconds, I bend down to look through the window and tap on the glass. "What's taking so long? Hurry!"

It takes everything in me to keep a straight face. He's seriously looking like someone just squished his childhood guinea pig. Lips pouty, eyes big and glossy. I inwardly snicker.

"Hey, what's wrong? This is supposed to be fun! Come on!"

He once again adjusts his delicious situation and I once again struggle to keep my cooch in my panties. He finally gets out and we begin walking toward the front. We had to park in the back, so the walk will take a good fifteen minutes.

_Time to plant the seeds_...

"So you like 99 Apes?"

"Hell yeah! They're the best band in the last twenty years, fuckin' geniuses! Especially the lead singer, he's so fuckin' cool."

"Oh, you like the lead singer?"

"Yeah, his voice is so raw, you know."

"I think so too... he's my ex."

Jasper stumbles and falls into someone's car, making the alarm blare loudly into the night. He swiftly rights himself and we walk off, leaving the loud ass alarm behind us.

"What the hell—what do you mean, 'he's my ex'?!"

I roll my eyes. "I don't know how I can break it down any more simply than _that, _Whitlock."

"Like... you've _been_ with him?"

"Well, yeah. Hey! I can totally get us backstage. He still has the hots for me."

"Naw, I'd rather—"

"Oooh! I can ask him to get us better seats, too! Maybe he'll let me—I mean _us_, into his dressing room!"

"I've heard pretty bad things—"

"Shoot! I should have asked him for tickets when he called me!" I smack my forehead for emphasis.

"Wait, he called you? _For_ _what_?! I mean, you know... what'd he want?"

"Oh, nothing," I lilt while waving my hand dismissively in the air. "Just the usual stuff—'I miss you, I want you back, let's go to dinner'—blah, blah, blah."

"Dinner?"

"Wow, look at that crowd! Think we'll make it in time?"

"Now wait a minute, what was that about—"

I quickly pull my zipper down and expose some boobage. "Ooops! Look, my zipper keeps falling down!" I turn toward him and make sure he catches an eyeful before zipping myself back up. "I _really_ hope that doesn't happen again. I'd be mortified if my boobs randomly popped out in front of a crowd of guys or something!"

"I have a jacket in the car. Lemme go run and get it."

"Okay, yeah, that's a good idea. I'll just stand right over there and wait for you, okay?" I point to a group of drunken frat boys.

"NO! Uh, I mean, I didn't bring my jacket. I, er, thought I did. But I didn't. My jacket's not here. Because I left it." He rubs the back of his neck and I can see his jaw muscles clenching.

I begin merrily skipping toward the ticket counter and after a few seconds, feel Jasper's strong arms encircle my waist. "You need to quit all that skippin'" he leers, whispering in my ear.

Looking at him with innocent, wide eyes, I ask, "Why can't I skip? I'm just having fun."

"I just want us to walk together is all..."

_Yeah, it had nothing to do with the men who were staring at my boobs, willing my zipper to fall._

He tries to put his arm around my waist, but I dodge him by "dropping" my purse. While I bend over, Jasper stands in front of me protectively and I can practically hear his teeth grinding when the catcalling begins. While he isn't looking, I pull my zipper down before getting up.

"Goddamn it!" He squeezes my dress shut and grinds his teeth into powder when he sees that he's pushed my boobs together, making them damn near pop out of the top. "This damn, flimsy dress! Zip it up!"

"It's not my fault! You don't have to yell!"

_This is so perfect!_

I zip myself up and cross my arms, stomping away from him.

"Christ! I fucking—I didn't mean it like that!"

"Whatever, let's just go."

When we get inside, the place is packed and I repeatedly "accidentally" rub my ass and/or hands onto his now hardening cock.

I take every opportunity I can to brush my lips against his ear to ask him the most random, dumb questions. By the time we get to our seats forty-five minutes later, I'm convinced the poor nutcake has blue balls. _Oh well, fucker! _

He must be a serious mama's boy—front row seats to see the biggest band in the world _can't_ be cheap.

The lights dim and everyone starts going crazy as the beginning chords to "Unattractive Woman" echo through the stadium. I make sure to act extra fan-girly and catch Jasper staring me down on more than one occasion. When he turns away, I unzip my dress a little and begin hopping around and singing along. I can pinpoint the exact moment he notices by the way his eyes pop out of his head and I inwardly do the New Jersey fist pump. But I swiftly forget about him when I see Edward's assistant, Tanya, a few feet in front of me. Our eyes lock at the same moment and she runs over to me, hugging me over the little blockade.

"Bella?! Oh my God! Does Edward know you're here?" she shouts into my ear.

I back up a little so she can see my face and shake my head. She leans back in, "Oh God, Edward's gonna shit himself! Stay right here, I'm putting you on the stage to surprise him!"

I back up and begin to protest, but then I see Jasper the Player out of the corner of my eye and nod my head.

_Wow, this is turning out better than I thought it would!_

I know Jasper wants to ask who Tanya was, but he can kick rocks. I keep dancing, pretending I don't feel him tapping on my shoulder. A few songs later, the music quiets down and Edward takes off his shirt, revealing his sweaty, chiseled chest before throwing it into the audience. The crowd goes wild and I damn near go deaf from all of the shrieking.

Edward smirks, licks his lips and brings the mic to his mouth. "I have a question for the ladies..."

Screaming.

"Are you sexy ladies gonna answer my question?"

More screaming.

He laughs, eating this shit up. "Who am I gonna take home tonight?"

My stomach turns and my mind immediately goes back to the night of our demise as the air leaves my lungs.

The screaming reaches an all-time high as women begin hopping over chairs and creating a stampede, trying to get to the front. My body is being squished into the blockade and I can't fucking breathe.

All of a sudden, someone grabs me under my arms and begins to lift me. I look up and see it's one of the security guards with Tanya smirking behind him. She gives me the "OK" sign with her fingers and I smile nervously. _Here goes nothin'._

I feel someone grabbing my leg and faintly hear Jasper yelling before the big-ass ox of a man lifts me onto the stage. _Whoa, it's hot up here! _I turn around and can't see beyond the stage due to the bright lights. I look to my right and find Edward staring at me, mouth agape.

The music picks back up again and he snaps out of it, stalking toward me while he begins singing the band's cover of "Fuck Her Gently."

"You don't always have to fuck her hard.

In fact sometimes that's not right to do,

Sometimes you've got to make some love..."

Edward is directly in front of me, moving closer, he reaches out his hand and cups the back of my neck, bringing my face to his. Our noses are touching as he grinds onto my leg. His tongue quickly snakes out and flicks my bottom lip.

"I'm gonna Fuck you softly,

I'm gonna screw you gently.

I'm gonna hump you sweetly..."

He dips his face into my neck, breathing me in like he used to do so many years ago. I close my eyes and just feel him, the comfort this simple gesture brings me, making me think of happier times.

"What's your favorite position?

That's cool with me,

It's not my favorite,

But I'll do it for you..."

Edward's voice trails off on the last word and he slowly drags his tongue up the column of my neck.

"Fuck, I've missed you so much, baby." His whispered words are strained as he trails his hands all over my body. He grabs my leg and lifts it over his hip, grabbing my ass and grinding his erection into me, continuing with the song.

"And then I'm gonna love you completely,

And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly.

And then I'll fucking bone you completely,

But then I'm gonna fuck you hard.

Hard."

The music stops and I'm brought out of my stupor when the lights dim, hearing the uproarious yelling and shouting of the fans. Edward grabs my hand and drags me backstage, yelling,

"Come on! I'll show you my dressing room!"

_"Who am I gonna take home tonight?"_

His previous words pop into my head and play on repeat, making my steps falter. But Edward doesn't slow down, and I fall in fucking slow motion. As I'm going down, I spot a big amp to my left and catch myself on it.

"Edward, stop!" He doesn't hear me, so I snatch my hand out of his vice grip. He turns and stares at me, looking confused and frustrated.

"I almost fucking fell! You didn't stop!"

_Jasper would have caught me._

Wait a minute; where did _that _come from?!

I start to walk away, but remember that I came here for a reason. I shake my head and shout, "Nevermind. Let's go."

His confused face quickly morphs into one of smug satisfaction and he starts jogging, dragging me through hallways and screaming fans.

We finally get to his room and it's full of groupies. _Typical._ They're immediately all over Edward, trying to hug, kiss and grope him, even though he's clearly holding my hand. He walks through them unfazed and plops down on a loveseat, pulling me into his lap. A few girls follow us, rubbing on him, practically begging him to fuck them.

He ignores them and rubs his hands all over my legs, whispering into my ear. I honestly don't hear anything he's saying. My mind is filled with thoughts of Jasper. _Where is he? Is he okay? I hope he didn't get squished in the crowd..._

"... yeah? What do you say?"

"Oh, um, what?"

He licks my neck and groans into my ear. "Wanna get out of here?"

I try not to let the disgust show on my face. "Um, I gotta use the bathroom. I'll be back."

I get out of his lap before he can protest and grab my purse, stealthily pulling out the what-I-need. I quickly place the fabricated letter on a table next to the door before dodging out of the room. Soon enough, some groupie is gonna find an official-looking letter from the CDC, informing Edward Cullen that he tested positive for herpes, crabs and a severe case of syphilis. Along with the letter is a picture of a pus-oozing dick covered in warts and sores. It'll be all over every blog by midnight.

I run down the hallway, going the way that I came. But after ten minutes, I realize that this definitely is _not_ the way I came. The hallways are quiet and the lighting is dim. _Fuck, this is kind of creepy._

"Swan!" I jump and scream, turning toward the familiar voice. "Jasper! Oh, thank God! You scared the crap out of me!"

He walks up to me, fuming. "What the hell was that about?"

"What? What was what about?"

"Don't pull that shit with me, Swan. On the goddamn stage, what the fuck was that?"

"Nothing! It was nothing! Part of the act. That's all."

"Where did you go?"

"His dressing room—but it wasn't like that!"

_Why the fuck am I explaining anything to him?!_

He backs me against a wall, trapping me between his long arms, eyes blazing. "Did you fuck him?"

"That's none of your business"

"None of my business?" He scoffs. "I thought I made it clear that I don't share."

He reaches his arm down and dips his fingers into my panties, massaging my bare flesh. "Naw, you ain't been fucked tonight. But that shit's about to change. Right now."

_Think again, buddy!_

I lift my chin defiantly. "No, it's not. I'm not fucking you."

"What?"

"Maybe I didn't make myself clear, but I don't share, either. Now get out of my way."

"You don't share? What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"Don't play games, Whitlock. Just admit that you're fucking someone else so we can be done with... whatever the fuck _this_ is."

"I'm not fucking anyone else! What the hell?"

"I saw you, damn it! Don't lie to me! I saw you at the goddamn supermarket with some tramp. Your arm was on her—"

"See? See _that's_ what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of your damn self! That was my fuckin' _cousin_, Kate. My _blood relative_. We share the same fuckin' grandma for chrissakes!" Relief floods through me and I breathe a sigh of contentment, my shoulders instantly relaxing. _Wow, I'm a jackass on a pogo stick._ "Why didn't you just _ask _me, damn it? I mean, do you think _that_ low of me?"

Well, I don't have an answer to such a legitimate question, so I settle on the next best thing. "Fuck you, Whitlock."

He smirks and fingers my zipper before pulling it down to my naval, staring at me predatorily. "Oh, I plan on it..." He lifts his shirt over his head and tosses it to the floor, never taking his hungry gaze off of mine.

Capturing my lips with his, he thrusts my leg over his hip, pulling my panties to the side. He wraps his arm around my torso and I melt into his solid embrace.

Pulling out his hard length, he rubs it back and forth against my slit, making me ache even more for him. He pushes his bulbous tip into me and my head lolls to the side, a moan escaping my lips. _I need him_.

"What do you say?"

_I'm desperate._ "Please..."

I grip his shoulders and push myself onto him, sighing unevenly when he finally fills me. I begin gyrating my hips, working him deeper inside of me.

He wraps his arms tightly around my waist and I bring my legs up, twining my legs around his body as he nips at my neck, heavy breaths fanning across my skin. His pace picks up, driving into me deeper, harder, relentlessly. I lean forward and kiss his neck, any exposed skin I can reach, immersing myself in the smell, the unique and unrivaled _feel_ of him.

"Oh, Jasper..."

I can feel his grunts vibrating in his chest as I run my tongue over his taut nipples, tasting the salt on his skin, feeling him throbbing inside of me. He bites my neck and I cry out in shock.

"Apologize to me, _Bella_."

I want to tell him to fuck himself, but he delves deeper, making my breaths escape from my mouth in desperate gasps. Talking just isn't an option at the moment. Warm flames begin flickering, radiating through my body.

He moves faster, holding me tighter against him. "Apologize."

I pull him closer to me, _needing_ him closer, his smoldering, scintillating skin brushing against mine exquisitely. I bring my hands to his hair, tangling my fingers in the luscious strands, scratching his scalp with fervor, needing _more_.

He plunges into me harder, making my body arch into him. "Oh, my God! Harder!"

"Hey! What's going on back here?!"

"Oh fuck!" Jasper pulls out of me and hastily zips up my dress before picking up his shirt. "Come on!"

He grabs my hand and we run away from the security guard, giggling and snorting as we try to find our way out of the maze.

"Come on, there's an exit!"

He runs harder when we spot the glowing red sign. My fucking heel breaks and I start falling. Again.

Before I can catch myself, Jasper stops and pulls me into his side, gripping my body securely against his. I smile up at him, losing myself in the softness of his gaze. He tenderly smoothes a few loose hairs out of my face before playfully kissing the tip of my nose.

"Come on, Darlin', I'm not through with you yet."

**A/N:**

**So I know I told some of you that this would be up yesterday, but my kids made a liar out of me. They kept me busy as hell and it's a miracle that I finished today!**

**I've converted coachlady1. She's officially in love with Jasper! Yay! My job is done here, folks.**

**Do you like slash? If so, then check out my girl Savannah Vee's Uncomfortable. AngstGoddess is obsessed with this story and so am I! It's Savannah's birthday, so leave her some reviews and make her day! **

**Have you checked out my Best Domination Ever entry, Bella's Dirty Notebook? If not, go on!**

**"Jackass on a pogo stick" came from the loverly Jay's World. It was too comical **_**not**_** to use it!**

**Oh, and hit me up on twitter so we can talk dirty to each other *smacks your ass* (at)Tiffnificent**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **

**Vote for my Best Domination Ever Contest entry, Bella's Dirty Notebook. Let's show those canon folks how us Jasper lovers roll! *throws up the Jasper Lover's gang sign***

**http://www . fanfiction . net/u/2284419/Best_Domination_Ever_Contest**

**My collab with Kitty Cullen-03, Three's Company, won second place in the Public Lovin' Contest! Woot woot! *does cabbage patch* Thank you to everyone who voted, you fuckin' rock! I'm still super excited about it and we're gonna collab again for the Don't Mess With the Help Contest! Yippeee!**

**K, shutting up now!**

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As we're running to the car, I feel so light and buoyant. I can't believe I'm this giddy while Queersper is in a 100-foot radius of my personal space! _Maybe this can work. Maybe _we_ can work._

Looking at him running, smiling, looking so carefree, makes me smile even harder. We're both looking like huge douches with these goofy ass smiles on our faces, but I honestly don't care. I couldn't hide my glee if I tried.

_Jasper did this. He made me happy._

I decide right then and there that I'm going to try. I'm going to be nice and civil. _Goodbye, rivalry!_

We finally reach the car and burst into a fit of giggles before he lifts me into a hug and spins me around. I might have actually squealed out a "Weee!" or two before he sets me down. We stand there, lost in our own jubilant bubble, looking at each other. Both of us are panting, chests heaving from the run. Jasper has a few curly tendrils stuck to his slick forehead, flushed skin, dimples creasing his cheeks, eyes shimmering. He looks magnificent.

_Yeah, I can __definitely __do this._

In that moment, I want nothing more than to feel him, _taste him_... so I reach out, grab his shirt and pull his body flush with mine. He looks shocked for a moment, but quickly catches on, smirking as he lifts me up, trapping my body between his toned physique and his big-bodied car.

His lips are on mine, our mouths moving in desperate tandem, tongues gliding, teeth nipping. I wrap my legs around him and pull his hips closer to my body, feeling his erection against my inner thigh.

"I want you. Now." His voice is needy and strained and drives me fucking crazy.

He grinds into me, roughly kneading my breast in his palm, pushing the hem of my dress higher and higher. I moan into his skin, licking his Adam's apple, gripping his muscular ass. "Then have me. Here. Now."

_"Eww, get a room!"_

Jasper slowly pulls away and lowers my legs, chuckling. "Fuck, maybe a full-ass parkin' lot isn't the best place for this. Come on."

I pout as he opens my door. I let him hold the door for me without a fuss, feeling proud of myself. By the triumphant look on Jasper's face, I'd say he noticed my good deed for the day as well. I mentally pat myself on the back. _God, I'm awesome._

As we pull out of the place, we sit in comfortable silence, sneaking sideways glances at each other and smiling like idiots when we catch the other looking.

I decide to play nice and strike up conversation, but don't wanna get on any sensitive or touchy subjects. Hmmm... _Oh! Ask him about __d__odgeball!_

"So... you enjoy dodgeball?"

"Hell yeah. I live for the shit. The adrenaline, the competition... the super fine honeys." He looks at me and grins, once again showcasing those gorgeous dimples.

I laugh and smack his arm. "You're_ so_ lame."

He shocks the hell out of me by lifting my hand to his mouth and lightly kissing each knuckle.

_If he keeps that shit up, my panties will combust into a cloud of satin confetti._

"I don't plan on quitting for a long time. I love it, I really do."

"I can understand why, you're really good. Too bad you're on an opposing team, it was kinda sad to see you get creamed so thoroughly in the championship."

We pull up to a red light and Jasper puts the car in park.

"What are you doing? You can't park your car at a red light, that's illeg—" the sentence dies in my throat when I glance up at him and see the way he's looking at me. _Hungrily._ His eyes slowly rake over my legs before his hands follow, fingertips softly caressing my bare skin, moving higher and higher.

"Fuck, your legs drive me fucking crazy." His fingers reach my panties and momentarily pause before dipping into the fabric. He moans loudly when he feels how ready I am for him. _I'm always ready for him._ "You have no clue how bad I want your legs wrapped around my neck... fuck, I wanna taste you so bad, baby."

_Confetti party!_

"Unf." I throw my head back against the headrest, losing myself in the feel of his fingers against me, applying the perfect pressure to my clit, pushing, massaging, circling. _Oh, yes!_

He quickly jerks his hand back when a symphony of honking horns blasts us out of our lust haze. Putting the car in drive, he skids off, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"I can't wait till we get back to your place."

"Me either."

"Distract me before I stop the car and take you right here."

"Ummm... you got your ass handed to you in the 'ship." He laughs. "Yeah, and it was just really sad. A bloody massacre. It was like playing a bunch of retarded kids."

More laughing. His death grip loosens on the wheel, but the very prominent bulge is still in his pants. _Don't worry, friend. I'll take care of you soon enough._

"Yeah, well, our loss damn sure had nothing to do with your playing."

_Huh?_

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, no offense, but your form could use some improving."

"My _form_ needs no improvement. My _form _is just fine."

He chuckles. "If you say so... might wanna work on your footwork, too because—"

"Fuck you!"

How dare he disrespect my dodgeball prowess. I'm a fucking _legend!_ My badassery knows _no_ bounds!

"Don't get all pissy, Swan. Facts are facts. Your form is off, your footwork could use improvement, and your arm—"

"My arm makes Zeus weep with envy. My _arm _is five seconds away from reminding your junk just how _strong _it is!"

What a fucking cockwhistler! _No one_ talks about my skills on the court!

"Damn, calm down, woman!"

"Don't tell me what the fuck to do, dickcheese!"

"Look—"

"Just shut the fuck up and take me home."

I should have known it wouldn't last. What the fuck was I thinking, even _entertaining _the idea that we could be more? Give an inch and this bitchcanoe takes ten miles. How dare he?! He clearly doesn't fucking respect me and my skills on the court. I'm nothing but a fuck to him. A giant, walking pussy that serves as nothing more than a receptacle to get his dick wet when he needs to get his rocks off. _God, how could I have been so fucking stupid?_

I was gonna leave his car alone, too. I was gonna forget about my little plan and let his precious car stay nice and pristine. _Well, you've fucked up now, buddy!_

I roll down my window, shivering when a blast of cool air hits me.

"What are you doing?"

_Distracting you._

"Nothing. I was hot."

He turns his eyes back to the road and I inconspicuously reach into my purse, pulling out the extra-sticky bumper sticker. I was _gonna _put it on his bumper, but passed up on the chance when I thought he was actually a nice guy. _What a joke._ Oh well, the side of the car will do. To keep the crinkly paper backing from making any noise, I have to pull it away from the sticker painstakingly slowly. When it's finally free, I quickly hang my arm outside the window, hand tightly holding the sticker to keep it from falling loose in the wind.

When he makes no comment and shows no interest in what I'm doing, I softly push the sticker onto the door and smooth out all of the wrinkles. Now everyone will be privy to the fact that he "'hearts' ass raping sheep."

We're almost to my place, so I grab my travel-sized bottle of Liquid Ass and drop my arm between the door and my seat, emptying the stinky contents onto the floor. Since the window is down, he won't smell the funk juice until I'm safe and sound, locked away in my house and shielded from his retaliation.

"Oh damn. What's that smell?"

_The stench of your bitchassness, maybe?_

I shrug my shoulders and look out of my window, thinking about sharks attacking panda bears to keep from laughing. So what if it doesn't make sense? It works, so I don't give a shit.

Pulling into my place, I quickly unbuckle my seatbelt and open the door. He moves to get out with me and I can't believe the audacity of this dude!

I scoff. "Don't bother. You're not coming in."

"What?"

"You heard me. Buckle up, chump."

"You can't be serio—"

I slam my car door with so much force, the windows rattle. Damn, I was hoping one would at least break or crack a little. _Oh well._

I jog to my door and hurriedly step inside and engage the deadbolt before he can realize what I did. I'm sure he's rolled up the window by now. That shit'll take weeks of persistent soaping to get _half_ the smell out. In the words of P. Diddy: _Take that, take that._

I still can't believe he said those things! Who the hell does he think he is? I've _forgotten_ more shit about the sport than he'll _ever _know.

The more his words repeat in my head, the more pissed off I get. My feet are slow? My arm is weak? Okay, we'll see about that. I pick up my phone and scroll through the contacts before finding the name I'm looking for, plan forming as the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Em. It's Bella."

"Bells! How are you? Uh, is Rosalie there? You know, for dodgeball or something..."

_Way to be subtle. _I hold in my laughter at how pathetic he is. Why won't he just admit how he feels? Damn!

"Nope, sorry guy, she's not here." He doesn't even try to hide the disappointed sigh. I can almost hear his pout. _God, what a pansy._ "Look, I need a favor."

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**A/N:**

**I know it's short, next chapter will be longer. My head is killing me right now, so I had to stop**** before my head exploded. My husband wouldn't be pleased. Brains are surprisingly hard to clean up.**** I wanted to get this out tonight, so**** I figured you wouldn't mind the shortness****...**

**Don't forget to vote for me! Voting ends on the 9th, so do it right now. It'll only take a second and Jasper said he would reward you if you voted. Something about whipped cream and licking...**

**As you know by now, coachlady1 = white hot awesomeness**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**

**So Bella's Dirty Notebook won second place **_**and**_** Naughty Girl's Pick in the Best Domination Ever Contest! Thank you all for your votes and encouragement, you're freakin' awesome!**** Woot wooooot! *throws up Jasper Lovers gang sign***

**O****n another note, thanks to my horrible memory, I can't remember who I responded to and who I didn't and I feel really shitty about it. I usually respond to every review, so it's really bothering me that some of you haven't gotten a response from me regarding the last chapter! Let me know in your review if you never heard from me, so I can grovel and let you spank me... rawr.**

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The gentle sunlight streaming through my window wakes me from my peaceful slumber. I smile as I roll onto my back and stretch my muscles, releasing a hearty yawn. _Ah, today is gonna be a good day._

With Em's help, Jasper will learn a lesson he won't soon forget. I'll _show_ him just how weak my arm is, just how slow my feet are, just how much _improving_ my game needs. Yes, today, the Death Dealers and the Prowling Panthers are getting together, free of the confines of an official dodgeball court, free of referees and fears of penalties. Today, anything goes.

As I get out of bed and laze my way over to the bathroom, I feel on top of the world. Nothing can ruin my day. It's a struggle to keep a straight face as I shower and even harder while I brush my teeth. I finally let out a giggle as I'm putting my hair in a damp bun. I'm definitely breaking my record today. Fucksper's gonna be covered in bruises from head to toe and he'll be reminded of my so-called _weakness _whenever he glances in the mirror.

Thinking about my revenge on Jasper makes me feel some kind of way... regretful? Guilty? Nah, can't be that. I shove the confusing emotion to the recesses of my mind to evaluate later. Like, _after I decimate Jasper_, later.

I feel lighter than air. With no refs to control every move, the Death Dealers are gonna murder those fools. I mean, we already beat the bajesus out of them in the 'ship so this will be a damn cakewalk. Maybe Jasper'll be down for a one-on-one game afterwards, so I can _really_ show him who's boss. I'll wipe the floor with his lanky ass. What the fuck is it with all of these newcomers thinking they can just talk to us vets any old kind of way? I should go extra-hard on Bitchlock, make an example out of him. Show all those arrogant newbs how it's _really_ done.

I jubilantly skip to the kitchen and get out all of the ingredients for cookies. I'm sure the Pussy Pansies will be extra wiped out after all of the murdilation that we'll be dealing out, so I figure I'll be a nice little lady and offer them refreshments to help replenish their egos. Nothing like lemonade and cookies to help you feel like a worthy man again. Tee hee hee.

As I'm kneading the dough, the shrill ring of my phone interrupts my a cappella rendition of The Chordette's _Lollipop_.

I rub my hands on a towel and pick up the phone.

"Hellooo?" I practically sing.

"Hey, hottie, it's your future husband."

"RPattz?"

"Ouch. That hurt."

"What do you want, Mike?"

"Emmett called and told me what you had planned. Sounds like fun, but I can't make it. I forgot I promised my mom I'd take her to dinner and a movie."

"Aw, Mikey, forever a mama's boy, aren't you?"

"Hey! How a man treats his mom directly correlates with how he'll treat his spouse."

"Yeah, and it also warns this alleged spouse to run and don't look back because Mommy Dearest will _always_ come first."

"No you'll always _come _first. Get it?"

"Clever."

"Anyway, sexy, when are we gonna go out? I'm not gonna take this hard-to-get act for much longer."

"If you were the last breathing male in this galaxy, I _still_ wouldn't want that twig of a penis between your legs."

"So... what are you trying to say?"

"Ugh! Bye, Mike."

I hang up and shake off the tinge of annoyance—I won't let Newton ruin my mood. He's just a harmless boy.

Bringing my attention back to the dough, I hum _Walking on Sunshine_ while I work in the oatmeal and raisins. Just as I begin to preheat the oven, my phone rings again. This time it's Rose. She can't make it. As I separate the dough into balls, Seth calls and informs me he can't make it, either. Over the next hour, my cookie making is repeatedly interrupted by someone calling and canceling.

By the time the oven dings, signaling the cookies are done, my nerves are frayed and I'm no longer humming chipper songs. In fact, I want to brutally murder any chipper song that dares cross my path. The phone rings again and I wanna throw it across the fucking room.

"What?" I bark.

"Damn girl! Bad day?"

"What, Emmett? You can't make it, either?"

"Sorry, baby girl."

"What the fuck? You were down yesterday, what the hell changed? Everyone's been fucking canceling today!"

"Well, not everyone. There are a few who haven't cancelled and I've been trying to get hold of them to tell them there's no point in showing up, since so many of the players are no-shows."

"Great, so now I have to play hostess to how many people?"

"Uh, I don't know... four maybe?"

"Fine. Bye."

"Sorry, babe."

"Yeah, yeah. Bye."

I slam the phone down and huff. This is just fan-fucking-tastic. My day is now shot to shit. Goddamn assdicks.

Someone with a horrible sense of timing rings my doorbell and I actually growl while stomping to the door.

"Hey, Al." I'm inwardly annoyed because for the life of me, I can't be mad at Alice... and I really want to be mad at Alice. _Someone _needs to feel my wrath, damn it!

She flits into my place and heads for the kitchen. "OHEMGEE, please tell me these aren't oatmeal cookies!"

"They're not oatmeal cookies."

"Mmmf fungerfingmmm..."

I roll my eyes and get a plate to place the cookies on. "You know it's rude as fuck to talk with your mouth full of food, right?"

Alice obviously didn't hear me, since she's still shoveling in the cookies and trying to hold a conversation.

"How the fuck do you eat so much and stay weighing eight pounds?"

More garbled talk.

"Nevermind. Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker."

She snatches the serving plate out of my hands and takes it to the living room, sitting down on the couch and lazily plopping her shitkickers onto my coffee table. My annoyance is overshadowed by my surprise that she can even move that much, since her leather pants are pretty much painted on. I suspect those babies will bust at the seams by the end of the night. With all of the cookies she's inhaling, Alice will be donning a food baby for sure.

"So is Jasper coming tonight?"

Why the fuck would she care about what Jasper was doing? I try to look nonchalant as I respond.

"I don't know. Why?" I hold back the side-eye as best as I can.

Alice picks up a cookie and answers before taking a bite. "Just wondering. We used to be a 'thing' ya know. Maybe we can pick up where we left off."

Sheeit. Bitch better back the fuck up. Fuck any previous feelings, I am now _definitely _annoyed with Alice.

Before I can say anything that will give me away, there's a knock on my door.

"Hey, Jacob."

Jacob Black has been trying to make me his girlfriend for years now. Despite being constantly shut down, the boy just won't give the hell up. I really hate hurting his feelings, but he's like a little brother to me.

"Bella," he says, leaning into me and tightly wrapping his arms around my waist, holding on for way longer than necessary. Before I can push him away, I hear someone clear their throat behind Jake's back.

I pull away from Jacob only to be met with a very agitated and very _scowling_ Jasper. His lips flatten into a straight line before he tilts his chin up in a classic defensive man greeting. "What's up, Black?"

"Nothin' at all. Just giving my girl here a proper hello."

"Mmm, is that so?"

"Uh, yeah. You alright, man?"

"Oh, yeah," Jasper shifts his gaze to mine, lids lowering with menace, "just fuckin' dandy."

He quickly squeezes past me and Jake and I see his stride falter a bit upon seeing Alice. _So it's true. They _did_ fuck._ That seriously pisses me off. And as I walk into the living room only to be met with Alice giving Jasper googly eyes, my pisstivity reaches an all-time high.

_I _should be giving him those stupid fucking googly eyes! He. Is. Mine!

"Hey, Al, why don't you get our boys some drinks?" I not-so-subtly suggest through clenched teeth.

"Hmm? Oh, nah, they're fine." She scoots closer to Jasper and fails at trying to indiscreetly pull her top down even more, revealing an obscene amount of her saline D cups. The move is comically obvious and makes my fucking blood boil.

What the fuck has gotten into her? She's never been this dumb and slut-tastic before. This is _not_ the Alice I know.

Her incessant flirting is really growing old and she's now practically on top of him. Might as well be humping his fucking leg. And what's really irking me is that he isn't turning her away. He hasn't given her an inkling of a clue that he isn't available for an all-night fuck-fest. Spunkmuffin.

I angrily slink into the kitchen to get away from those douches. One can only take so fucking much before going on a tattooed-pixie-killing-rampage. As I pour myself a glass of lemonade, a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I relax for a millisecond before realizing these arms are all wrong. They're too muscular, too warm... they don't feel _right. _I stiffen my back and try to worm my way out of his embrace, but the guy obviously can't take a hint.

"Jake, c'mon, let me out."

"Bella, please. Just give me a chance, all I need is one chance." His kind eyes are pleading and I'm tempted to give in. But it wouldn't be right. I just can't do that to him, giving him false hope would be beyond cruel.

"I'm sorry. I'm kind of in a relationship-type thing..." I dismissively wave my hand around in front of my face.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" He moves closer, pressing his body flush against mine, my eyes barely meeting his sculpted chest. "Getting involved with these kinds of guys? Complications and second-guessing... I would never do that to you." He bends his knees, bringing our faces level. "We could be so good together, Bella."

I shake my head and lower my eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Please."

"I believe she said 'no,' dude."

I breathe a sigh of relief when I hear Jasper's voice. I know Jacob would never hurt me; I just hate feeling like shit whenever I'm around him. Seeing the look of defeat in his eyes never gets any easier.

He sluggishly backs away with a look of pure dejection etched across his broad features.

"Jake..." I fruitlessly reach for him to offer a little bit of comfort, but he moves away just in time, my fingertips barely grazing the hot skin of his bicep.

"No, it's cool. I'm totally fine." He smiles tightly, eyes dull. My heart aches for him. "So uh. Yeah, it's cool. I'm gonna head on out though, yeah? Gotta get my beauty sleep and everything. So... yeah..."

Jacob quickly shuffles past Jasper and a few seconds later, I hear the front door quietly click shut.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, fine. I just hate seeing him like that, you know?" I wrap my arms around myself and Jasper slowly approaches me looking remorseful.

"Bella, look—"

"Jasperrr! Jasper where'd you go—oh! There you are! Come on and sit with me, I'm getting lonely out there."

Alice presses her boobs into Jasper's torso while putting one of her hands in his back pocket, squeezing the hell out of his ass.

Seeing her mauling his ass makes me see red, my head is suddenly filled with heated pressure and I'm tempted to grab the nearest butcher's knife to deflate those water balloons on her chest. This bitch has now tap-danced on my last fucking nerve.

"Alice, you gotta leave. Just... get the fuck out. Now."

"Wha—"

"Out."

"The fuck? Fine! Come on, Jasper." She grabs his hand and it takes every ounce of self control to keep my hands to myself. I swear, if he fucking goes with her...

"Uh, naw, Alice." He rubs the back of his neck. "Im'ma stay here. With Bella."

Her eyes damn near pop out of her head as she realizes what Jasper's hinting at. "Wh—what? You two? You guys are...? I don't—but we... oh God."

She couldn't get out fast enough. In her haste to get out of my house, Alice stumbled. Actually fucking _stumbled. _Never thought I'd see the day.

Right as the front door slams shut, the phone rings. I give Jasper a confused look as I answer, letting him know I have no clue who it could be.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Bella. Do you have a minute?"

"Um, I don't know, Edward. I'm kind of—hello? Hello?" I look at the wall and see the phone cord has been yanked from the wall, a gaping hole where the plug-in should be. Jasper is on me in a hot second.

"What the fuck is he doing calling you?"

"Um—"

"You fuckin' him?"

"Are you _fucking_ Alice?"

"No."

"Then no."

"What if I would have said 'yes'?"

"Then you would have been kicked the fuck out of my house."

"You wouldn't." He moves closer, daring eyes locked on mine.

"I would."

"I don't like you talking to him." _Hmm, do I detect jealousy? Awesome!_

"Why?"

"Because you're _mine_."

"Prove it."

Before I have a chance to take another breath, Jasper throws me over his shoulder and I squeal in surprise, bouncing as he takes swift, wide steps. "Where are you taking me?"

"Bedroom. Shut up."

"_You _shut up."

He throws me on the bed and savagely rips my t-shirt down the middle, revealing my bare chest.

"Sweet Jesus." He's hurriedly unbuttoning his jeans while I try to remove my cumbersome shorts with just as much fervor. Kicking off his pants, he trips and falls on top of me. Not losing any momentum, his lips immediately begin kissing my breasts, sucking, licking.

I grab his ass and pull him closer, rolling my hips into his, feeling him swell beneath the thin fabric of his boxers.

Bringing his lips to mine, we kiss passionately, intent on devouring each other, grinding and panting and grasping.

Jasper pulls away from me, looking deadly serious. "You're mine."

I hook my thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and push them down, his thick erection popping free onto my thigh, the heavy weight of him against my skin makes me wet with anticipation.

Grabbing his length in my hand, I look him in the eye and tug. "Show me."

He growls and grabs one of my legs, throwing it over his shoulder before plunging into me, pulling out and pushing deeper in long strokes.

"You want me to show you? _Show you_ that you're fucking _mine?_"

"Yes." My reply is breathless as I move my hips in time with his, admiring his glistening chest, the muscles of his arms rolling beneath his skin with each thrust.

_Oh God, I need to feel more of him._

I push his chest and quickly maneuver myself on top of him. Jasper's eyes widen as he realizes what's happened. "Oh, holy fuck."

His eyes drop to my breasts and I grab his hands, bringing them to my chest as I hover over his erection and slam myself down on him, taking everything inside of me. His eyes squeeze shut as I begin bouncing on top of him, setting my own hard, grueling rhythm.

Dropping his hands down to my hips, he begins fervently pushing himself into me, making his hardness slip deeper than before as his fingers dig wonderfully into my skin.

"Oh, yes. Harder!" My eyes roll into the back of my head as our bodies violently crash against each other, my hair gradually falls out of its bun, fanning across Jasper's thighs as I move. My legs are growing wobbly, but I can't slow down, I pick up the arduous pace as my breathing becomes more labored.

_More._

I become savage as I use his chest for leverage, sweat dripping into my eyes, hair sticking to my chest, gasping for air as I ferociously try to find what I need.

_More._

Jasper lifts his body bringing our sweat-slicked chests flush. Wrapping his arms around me, hooking his hands over my shoulders, he slowly grinds into me, licking my collarbone and moaning into my skin.

I pick up my hips and try to quicken the leisurely pace he's set, but his hold on my shoulders prevents me from moving the way I want to.

I try again.

"Stop, Bella."

_No, go faster. I need more.__.. I __c__an't do this._

I grind back and forth again, making another attempt.

Jasper pulls his face away from my chest. "Stop, Bella." His voice is so soft, eyes shimmering, penetrating, in the moonlit room. He reaches a hand up and softly places it on the nape of my neck, gently massaging while moving so deep, so slowly inside of my body. "_Feel _me. _Feel _this."

He kisses me so tenderly, so softly, his tongue whispering against my own as he moves sensuously slowly inside of me. And I give in. Melting into his firm embrace, meeting his attentive touches with my own, rolling my hips deeply with his, feeling every muscle of his back as I caress him, reveling in the feel of his skin as I taste him.

_Yes. This is what I need. This is my more._

I lay my head on his chest as we move together, my heavy breaths echoing in my ears as I grip his back tighter. "Jasper..."

A tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it against his skin, mixing it with our sweat, making it disappear.

I've never felt this way before. And it scares me. I can't be hurt again. _I can't take__ that__ again._

As if sensing my fears, Jasper's arms tighten around me as he kisses the sensitive skin behind my ear. "Let me in, Bella. I won't hurt you."

And I believe him. I truly believe him...

I lift my head and kiss him with everything I have as I finally let go, an urgent, electric pressure growing inside of me, snapping free in a blazing current of shattering ecstasy. I pull Jasper closer, feeling him releasing inside of me, back stiffening, sighing in contentment as we come together for the first time.

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**A/N:**

**The "coming together for the first time" has multiple meanings. I'm so deep.**

**So they finally moved past the rivalry bullshit... right? We'll see *snickers***

**I'm still wingin' this story as I go, so any ideas are appreciated.**

**If I ever take forever to update, blame coachlady1. She's gotten me addicted to Black Dagger Brotherhood! ****But**** she's also the best beta ever, so I can't be mad at her. ****Damn it!**

**Follow me on twitter, I tweet naughty pictures. (at)Tiffnificent**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**

**I know. I suck. But so does real life. I wish I could punch life in its shriveled balls. I don't think I answered anyone back from the last chapter and I apologize profusely for that. Hopefully shit'll get better soon.**

**Hello to all of my new followers, you guys rock! Quite a few of you have never read a Bellsper fic before, so I'm squeeing when I see that you're enjoying this crazy story! *throws up Jasper Lover's gang sign***

**I had no clue what to do with this chapter, but luckily Kitty Cullen came to the rescue with her pervy brain :-)**

**I don't own Twilight. If I did, I would have never let Jackson cut off that fuckhot hair. I think I died a little when the ponytail was chopped *sad panda***

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Being a light sleeper has always been a curse. When I was a kid, I was a total asshole because sleeping was so fucking hard. I was tired all the time and just cranky. As an adult, I've learned to deal with it, but it's easier now that I live alone. I like living alone. I love the extra sleep that I can get when no other dickheads are in my vicinity, fucking up my beauty rest.

So now, why am I being woken up out of my peaceful slumber? Why, Jasper, of course. Who else would it be? Who else would be bitchass enough to wake me up during such an awesome sleep? I was drooling and everything, so you _know_ it was good. After all of that googly-eyed sexin' we had earlier, I was sleeping like a baby. And now, I'm pissed. I prepare myself to stomp into the bathroom and cuss him out until my voice box collapses, but something stops me. _He's whispering_. Who the fuck is he talking to? In _my_ house? In the middle of the damn night?

If he's sneaking and talking to some whore, I swear to God I'll go savage bitch on his ass. I get off the bed slowly and tiptoe to the bathroom, thankful for the noiseless carpeted floor. When I get to the door, his voice is still too muffled for me to understand, so I gently press my ear to the chilly wood.

_Bingo!_

"... no, no. Nothin' like that."

He pauses while the other person speaks.

"I know, but that shit doesn't matter, Alice. It worked, didn't it?"

_What worked?_

"Well, don't feel bad about it. We didn't do anything wrong. Well, it _was _wrong, but she'll never know."

_The FUCK?_

"Like I said, it was for the best, and it worked—_no _this will stay between us."

Is he serious? He seriously thinks he can get away with fucking Alice behind my back?

"Yeah, I already called her and set up a date. She sounded excited."

A _threesome? Oh, hell no!_

"Alright, well, lemme go, I'm tired as hell. Keep your mouth shut, Alice. Bye."

I back up a few steps, so it'll look like I'm barely making it to the door. Just as I take the second step, my bathroom door whooshes open and I'm met with a very surprised looking Jasper.

"Oh shit! Fuck, you scared me!" He rubs the back of his neck and has the decency to look sheepish. "What're you doing up?"

Smiling sweetly, I try my hardest not to punch him in his ball sachet. "Oh, just had to use the bathroom. What were you doing?"

"Uh, just, ya know... using the bathroom."

_Yeah. Fucking. Right._

"Oh," I feign innocence, "I could have sworn I heard talking. Were you humming or something?"

"Huh?"

Ah, the classic guilt-ridden response. If your first word is "huh" after someone asks you a question, it's apparent that you're trying to buy time to think of a lie. And you're full of shit.

"Were you talking to yourself or something? Humming, maybe?"

"Oh, yeah, um, yeah. I was humming this one song that I like."

He rushes past me, back into the bedroom, keeping his eyes on anything but my face.

"Let's hum it together! What song was it?"

"What song?"

"The song you were humming? I didn't recognize it..."

"It was a rap song, you probably wouldn't know it."

_You're not getting off the hook that easily, buddy._

"You're right," I pout. "I hardly know any rap songs. Which one were you humming? Maybe I can add it to my iPod and listen to it when I think of you." My tone hints at naughty times and I know he's buying the act.

"'Uptown' by Drake." He looks more confident now, assuming, like the cuntscicle he is, that I have no clue who Drake is.

"Hmmm... I don't think I know that one..."

Jasper breathes a sigh of relief and his shoulders visibly relax.

"Oh! Is that the one that goes like this?"

I then proceed to recite the whole first verse and ask him to join in. He hardly knows any words and stumbles through the chorus.

"Wow," I wonder aloud, "for a song you like humming so much, you sure don't know it very well."

"I'm just tired, ya know?"

"Oh, I know. I'm really tired too." _Tired of your bullshit._

"Come lay down, let's go back to sleep."

"Yeah. Sure."

He lies on his back and I join him under the sheets, staying on my side.

"C'mere."

I look over and see that Jasper has opened his arm, indicating that he'd like me to lie on his chest. His tanned, hard, smooth, fuckhot chest...

_Stop it!_

Fuck! Do I lie on him or not? Should I give in and get closer knowing that he'll only suck me in and hurt me? Do I play along and continue acting like I don't know what the hell I just heard?

Or do I refuse to lie on that muscular surface and keep myself at arm's reach? Should I push him away and make sure he can never get to me?

Looking at his innocently hopeful expression, the adorable way his eyebrows are raised in anticipation, the cute almost-pout that his full lips are sporting... I know that I'm done for. I give in and I lie on him because I'm a hopeless fool when it comes to this man and I'll never be strong enough to deny him of anything he asks.

When I get settled into a nook, he sighs sleepily and wraps his arms around me, cocooning me in his scent. I breathe deeply, burning the way he feels into my brain because I know that after tonight, I'll never feel this again.

"Hey." He reaches down and softly rubs his thumb across my lashes. "You're crying."

_I am? Shit!_

"What's wrong?"

_Oh, you know, I just found out that you're fucking my friend behind my back and you plan on participating in a threesome with said friend plus an additional random skank. You lied to me about who you were talking to and continue to lie by not admitting the truth. The fact that you could do this hurts more than I can ever admit to myself because my feelings for you are stronger than anything I've felt before. I want to punch a hole through my chest to alleviate the pain. I want to scrub my brain so I can forget about the fact that you're screwing someone else. I despise my mom for passing on the "light sleeper" gene to me. If I'd never woken up, I'd still be blissfully unaware of your trifling extracurricular activities..._

"Nothing." My response is monotone and highly unbelievable.

"Really? 'Cause that wasn't very convincing."

"I just have a lot on my mind. I'm fine."

"Anything you wanna talk about?" He rubs his rough hand up and down the side of my body, starting at the swell of my breast, leisurely working his way down to my hip. "You can talk to me about anything. You can trust me, Bella. I want you to trust me."

_The fucking nerve!_

"I just wanna go to sleep, okay?"

"I'm here if you want to talk. I don't care if you need to wake me up... just let me know, okay?"

"Yeah. Goodnight." I close my eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling as his arms encase me even tighter than before.

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I open my eyes and bask in the glow of the sun, smiling widely when I realize Jasper is leaning over me, pressing his body into mine. Sand is beneath me, burrowing into my naked back and warm waves of water are softly tickling my toes.

His gleaming eyes are full of tender affection. "Do you want me? Forever?"

"Yes, Jasper. Forever."

He smiles beautifully, a contagious smile that makes me in turn, smile goofily at him. Lowering his face to mine, he kisses me gently, our lips molding perfectly together, moving with comfortable familiarity.

"I need to feel you, baby." His voice is husky and low and I know his words are the absolute truth. _I need to feel him, too._ He aligns himself at my entrance, and my hands immediately go to his ass, encouraging him to keep going.

Jasper listens to my unspoken plea and slowly pushes into me, both of us moaning loudly when he's finally buried deep inside of me.

He begins breathing harder and drops his head to the crook of my neck. "Fuck. You feel fucking amazing. I can never get enough of you."

His strokes are long and meaningful, silently conveying the depths of his feelings with each thrust. And when my hips rise to meet his, I know we both feel the intensity of the moment as we move together erotically with the soft sounds of the ocean surrounding us.

He kisses my ear and his warm breath fanning across my skin sends a shiver down my spine. "I love you, Bella."

Before I can respond, a phone rings in the background but I decide to ignore it. Looking back to Jasper's face, I reach my hand up to cup his cheek and his eyes close as he melts into my touch.

And that damn phone rings again.

"Bella, you have to wake up."

"No. I want to stay here with you."

"I know, baby, but the phone is ringing."

I once again open my eyes and close them again, realizing that what I'd just experienced was a dream. An evil dream. The room is dark and covered in shadows, my eyes are crusted in the corners and I groan in embarrassment because Jasper is really fucking close and I know he's seen the eye boogers.

He chuckles and smoothes the unruly hair from my face. "You're beautiful."

The bitch-made phone rings again and I string together a colorful roster of profanities, cursing whoever is calling this damn early.

"Hello?"

"Miss Swan? This is Jane calling from Volturi, Inc. We're going to need you in your office within the next twenty minutes. There's been a crisis that needs to be handled immediately."

My response is cut off by the dial tone. _Bitch hung up on me!_

"Shit!" I stumble out of the bed, scolding my brain into waiting until I'm in the car to have a breakdown.

"Is everything okay?"

The worry in Jasper's voice is almost enough to turn me into a snotty, tear-stained mess. But I hold it together, my pride not allowing him the satisfaction. I brush my teeth, throw on the first suit out of my closet and plop a bun on the top of my head, securing it with Goody Spin Pins.

I'm ready in eight minutes flat and Jasper's been on my heel every step of the way, asking if I was okay. With a watery smile, I tell him bye and rush out of the house.

As soon as I'm on the road, the tears are falling and they won't stop. That dream was so cruel, taunting me with a future that will never be. I'll never experience making love on a secluded beach with Jasper. Hell, I'll never even _trust_ Jasper, let alone make love to him. I'll never again feel his body above mine or experience sharing a bed with him. I'll miss him desperately. His smile, his laugh, the way his face lights up when anyone mentions his stupid car.

Pulling up to my place of employment, I park and wipe my face with some tissue from the glove compartment. I look a mess with my red, shiny nose and blotchy skin_. I'll splash some cold water on my face before I get to the office. _

I get out, press the alarm button and rush inside, not making eye contact with anyone. If you look people in the face, they'll take it as an opportunity to talk. The last thing I want to do right now is listen to someone drabble on and on about their snotty-nosed kids. So I walk with my head down and may even throw a scowl or two in the direction of a few Chatty Cathy's who are known to talk people to their graves. When I reach the elevator and press the number of the floor I need to get to, I breathe a sigh of relief as the door begins to close. _All alone. Perfect. _Now I have an extra minute or so to have my breakdown.

Before the doors close all the way, a large hand shoves its way between the small slit and the entryway widens, allowing the Breakdown Intruder into the space.

My eyes widen in disbelief when his face is directly in front of mine. "Jasper?"

"You forgot your Blackberry." He holds my phone up, dangling it between his thumb and pointer finger. "And I couldn't go all day knowing something was wrong with you."

The door closes and dings behind him and I can't hold it in anymore. I'm crying and it's one of those ugly cries where your face is scrunched up and deformed and snot is oozing out of your nose, but you keep sniffling to keep it in and I'm babbling about being hurt and wishing we could be more.

Jasper pulls me into his arms and I collapse into his embrace, allowing myself this one last time to be held and comforted by this man.

"Talk to me, Bella. Please, trust me."

The word "trust" roundhouse kicks me over the edge and I completely lose it.

"Trust? _Trust?___ You want me to _trust _you? How fucking _dare_ you ask me to place my trust in you when you've been lying to me from the start of this—whatever the fuck _this _is!"

"What—"

"Shut up!" I push his chest and he looks stunned, eyeballs close to popping out of his skull.

"How can I trust you? How the _fuck_ can I trust you? You're a fucking liar!" I push him again, harder this time as my vision clouds with unshed tears.

"I haven't lied—"

I push him with more force than before, until his back is against the wall of the elevator. "Don't fix your fucking lips to spew one more goddamn lie to me! Shut up! Shut up!"

A loud screech sounds from above us and the elevator shakes a bit, almost wobbling as the cables groan in protest. I stop my tirade and look up, like I had somehow developed x-ray vision in the last few seconds. _What the hell is going on up there?_

The elevator stops completely and the lights go out, shrouding me and Jasper in complete darkness. I look around, trying to see anything, find any source of light. I feel weightlessness as my feet lift off the floor. _We're falling!_

I scream and reach for Jasper, clinging to his shirt and shrieking like my throat could somehow save my life. My scream is cut short when our bodies hit the floor with a painful thud. Deafening metallic sounds fill the small space and the walls vibrate as the elevator abruptly falls a few feet. Something snaps and bangs against the top of the elevator and I cry, burying my face in Jasper's chest as I realize that this is my last day alive.

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**Am I evil? Maybe... bwahahahaha!**

**Seriously though, I really hope I don't ever take so long between updates again and I'm gonna answer every single review from this chapter on. I swear on Jasper's peen. So you **_**know **_**damn well that I'm telling the truth!**

**Check out my new Bellsper fic This Summer, it's for the Alternate Shippers Challenge and it's also my second most popular fic, right behind Bella's Dirty Notebook.**

**Reviews are love and I'm still wingin' this shit, so let me know if you have any plot ideas!**

**coachlady1 is a super hawt MILF with a super smart brain and she makes each chapter super with her super beta sparkle dust.**

**Until next time! Smooches! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**

**Okay, so I'm a dickneedle. I had this chapter damn near written a while ago and my dumb ass accidentally deleted it! I was so fuckin' upset, it made me develop writer's block and shit and I haven't been able to get ANY writing done. Grrr!**

**But all is well now. I think. And I decided that instead of doing Bella's POV, I'd do something different and give ya'll another taste of my sexy man's POV. I think this is better than the deleted chapter, so I guess everything _does_ happen for a reason.**

**Kay, shutting up now...**

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**JPOV**

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

We're gonna die. We're gonna fuckin' die and there's nothing I can do about it. Bella is under me, clutching onto my shirt like I can save her, but fuck... I can't.

So I do the only thing I _can_ do. I hold her. I hold her as tight as I fucking can because if this is the last thing I get to do, I'm gonna make it good. I concentrate on everything Bella. The way she smells all fruity and girly, the way her little breaths are humid against my chest, the way her body feels under mine... all sexy and soft and smooth legs.

I wouldn't mind getting me some right now—that'd be an awesome way to go.

I'm such a horny asshole.

But my thoughts are reassuring. If I'm thinking about sex, then that means I'm alive. And my being alive is a really fuckin' good thing 'cause I don't _not_ wanna be alive. And Bella's boobs all smushed up against my chest is _really_ helping reassure me that I'm currently alive and well because my dick is about to punch its way through the fly of my jeans.

God, I'm a douche.

An _alive _douche.

All of this thinking about sex has distracted me from the fact that we're not falling to our gruesome, untimely deaths. The elevator is still and calm. A few creaking noises are sounding every few seconds, but I'll take that over plummeting twenty stories.

I lower my face to look at her, even though it's pitch dark in here. I guess I'm hoping I'll be able to see a flicker of her face, but that's a no-go. She's only two inches from my face and I can't see her. Even though I feel her beneath me, I need to make sure she's alright.

"You okay?" My voice cracks on the word "okay" and I feel like a pansy bitch. I clear my throat to make sure that shit doesn't happen again.

"Um, I guess so." She sounds timid and soft, like she's scared that the elevator will be pissed and kill the hell out of us if she talks too loud.

By the way she's still gripping the shit out of my shirt, I'd say her fear of dying is still pretty damn fresh. Poor thing is trembling and scared shitless. Well, I'm scared shitless too, but since I'm the man—I gotta do _something_ to make her feel better.

"So... interesting morning so far. On a scale of one to ten, I'd give it a six."

She chuckles a little and I want to kiss her. "Oh yeah? What morning have you had that's been more interesting than this?"

Oh, I'm so fuckin' tempted to say some filthy, dirty shit. That question is just _begging_ to be answered with a perverted reply. But I keep that shit to myself because I'm sure saying something sexual wouldn't be well-received. She'd probably be pissed that I'm thinking of fucking at a time like this. But I _am_ thinking about fucking. And with her panting all over me with her legs wide the fuck open. I can't get fucking off my brain. It's really ridiculous how bad I wanna do her right now.

"Sorry, that's confidential FBI/Area 51 type shit."

"Since when are you in the FBI?"

"I _was_ in the FBI, but I quit 'cause that shit was boring."

"Mmmm-hmmm."

The silent blackness envelopes us as we both retreat into our own minds. She's probably thinking about her friends and family and winning the damn championship. I almost laugh at that, but laughing out loud would make me look crazy as hell. Damn girl never misses an opportunity to rub that win in my face. Shit, the only reason they won was because I was out for most of the game. If I got to play, there's no way they would have won. But she'll see when the season starts back up. She'll learn not to talk shit about my damn team.

"Jasper?"

I try not to dwell on the fact that I think this is the first time she's ever said my actual name and not Whitlock or cuntweed or dingleberry-fuckface. "Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here with me. _For_ me."

Even though we're probably gonna die, I can't say that I regret getting on this bitch-ass elevator. If I weren't here, she'd be alone—scared shitless and all alone. Just thinking about her being trapped here, in this inky darkness, dealing with this shit by herself kinda makes my chest ache in a weird way.

Not to mention I'd be worried as fuck, stuck watching the news, not able to do a damn thing about it. At least here, I _know_ what's happening and I _know_ she's okay.

"No problem at all. It's part of the job description—I'm supposed to be there for my girl."

I hold my breath and wait for her reaction. Our relationship has never been defined, but after last night, I just really feel that it's time to stake my claim and call her mine. I'm just not sure how she feels about it and literally hold my breath until she says something.

After a while, I have to take a breath because I'm about to suffocate waiting on her ass. I chuckle and it comes out more wobbly and nervous than I'd like. "So... are you gonna say something?"

Well, fuck. This isn't going how I thought it would go. I figured she'd either call me crazy or agree that she was my girl. This silence shit is killing me. Does she _not_ wanna be with me? Does she just wanna keep fucking with no commitment? The sex is good as hell, and if that's the only way I can have her, of course I'd take it. But fuck, I really want to move forward—progress and shit.

I feel her take a breath like she's about to say something and my ears perk up, straining and concentrating on hearing what she has to say. Here it is, the answer that'll make or break me.

"Your cock is digging into my hip."

My... cock... is...

Oh!

I think I blush for the first time in my life as I lift my hips away from her and readjust myself. Thank fuck it's so dark in here 'cause I'd kill myself dead if she ever caught me blushing like some pussy. Damn, I'm really fucking busted now. She knows how much I wanna bang her. I was hoping she wouldn't notice, but hell, if she _really_ wants to point fingers here, she should blame her damn self. Looking all sexy and shit in her skirt-suit-thing. Like a librarian. A _naughty_ librarian. And the fact that I know how delicious she is _under_ the clothes makes my dick jump a little in my pants.

But she still hasn't acknowledged the whole "my girl" thing, and, frankly, I'm starting to freak the fuck out due to the lack of talking coming from her end.

A phone ringing jerks me out of my thoughts. The elevator phone—holy shit!

I scramble off of Bella, groping the hell out of the wall. "Find it!"

We're silent as we feel around the walls, there's no witty banter or insult slinging. Our lives depend on answering this phone and we both know it.

"I found it! Hello?"

I slink to the floor in relief and listen to Bella's responses, following her voice and inching closer. When I reach her, I wrap my arms around her slim waist, needing to feel her—touching her will reassure me that we're gonna make it. We'll make it out of here alive.

I hear the phone softly click onto the receiver and wait to hear my fate.

She turns in my arms and we just sit there, silent in each other's arms until she's ready to talk.

"The elevator is secured. We're not gonna fall. I told them our names and they said that it would be about an hour before they can get to us."

I'm speechless for a few seconds. Mind totally blank.

"We're... gonna live?"

"Yes!"

We both laugh for no reason, but then again, we're not gonna die, so I guess that's a damn good excuse to laugh. In between laughing, we kiss anywhere we can reach. I don't even know what I'm kissing, hopefully it's her cheeks and forehead and stuff. But knowing Bella, she's probably sticking her ass in my face, silently crackin' up at me.

"I can't believe we're gonna live!" Bella is squealing all girl-like and cute and shit and it makes me smile.

"Me too."

"'Cause I know you were super scared, screaming like a girl and stuff."

Oh, she's got jokes.

"_I _was scared? _You're_ the one who was giving my shirt the death-grip. And don't think I didn't notice you pissing on yourself."

"I didn't pee _or_ scream. I was brave, you screamed and... _you cried!_"

"I did _not_ fuckin' cry! Take that back!"

"Nope. Cried like a damn baby."

"Swan," I warn, "you better take that back."

"Nuh-uh."

Before she can finish denying my demand, I'm on her, pinning her arms above her head with one hand and attacking her ribcage with the other. She's screaming and laughing, trying to get away but I'm not having that.

"Admit it! Admit that I didn't cry! Say 'Jasper,'" I raise my voice to sound all high-pitched like a girl, "'you didn't cry. You never cry because you're super awesome.' Say it!"

"Never!"

I dig my fingers in deeper and move up to her armpits. She's laughing hysterically and wriggling around with gusto, trying like hell to get out from under me.

"Tell me I'm awesome!"

"No!"

Time to pull out the big guns. I move my hand down to her hip bone, which I accidentally discovered was her most ticklish spot during one of our heated exchanges and let loose.

She goes crazy, kicking like a mad woman, begging me to stop. Like hell I'm stopping. Not until I get my confession.

"Say it!"

"Okay! Okay! I will, just hold on..."

My fingers pause as I wait for the magic words. "I'm waiting."

"Okay, um... SIKE!"

"You little fucker!"

I go back to twisting my fingertips over her hip bone and she goes back to laughing and begging, but I won't give in this time. She won't fool me again.

"Wait, Jasper, wait!"

The serious tone of her voice lets me know I need to back off, so I do. Did I hurt her?

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"No, no I'm _not_ okay."

She pushes my chest and I stumble backwards, shocked as hell, bringing my hand to my chest in disbelief.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You _know_ what you fucking did!"

"Really? 'Cause I think that if I knew, I wouldn't be asking you, goddamn schizo."

"Don't fucking play these goddamn games with me, Whitlock! I'm fucking sick of the fucking mind fuck shit, you fucking fuck-face!"

"Wanna throw one more 'fuck' in there and go for the world record?"

"Fuck you! Fuck your shirt, fuck your hair, fuck your shoes, fuck your car, fuck your cell phone, fuck your..."

I zone out as she continues on with her ridiculous list of things that I can fuck. Is she serious right now?

"Bella, shut up."

"_You _shut up, you retarded pile of monkey shit!"

"Calm down—"

"_You_ calm down!"

"I _am_ calm. You're the one screaming, not me."

"Oh, fuck you! Goddamn _cheater_!"

Again? Really?

"We're gonna go through this again? Who am I fucking around with _this _time? My aunt? My niece?"

"Fuck. You."

"Yes, we've established that. Although your vocabulary is stimulating, I'd like to know what the hell you're talking about."

"I heard you on the phone with Alice. I _know _you're fucking her!"

Aw, hell.

"I'm not fucking Alice, Bella."

"Well what the fuck is going on? Because from what I heard, it damn sure sounded like you two were fucking to me."

"I didn't wanna tell you, 'cause I _knew _you'd be pissed—"

"Just. Tell. Me."

"Fine." I take a deep breath. "No one showed up the other night because I asked them not to—calm down—I asked Alice to help make you jealous because I wanted you to want me as much as I want you. Alice agreed to help because she thinks we're both pathetic. We've never fucked around. Just wanted to make you think we did. And it worked—calm down."

I work my way over to where I think she is, following the sound of her breathing. When I reach her, I pull her into my arms and she stiffly stands in my embrace.

"What about the threesome?"

"What?" I swear this girl is gonna drive me into an early grave.

"You talked about meeting up with another girl for a threesome."

"Bella... did you actually hear me say the word 'threesome'?"

"Well, I don't—"

"Why do you do this? Why are you sabotaging us? How will we ever work if you don't talk to me? If you get pissed off and run every time there's a misunderstanding?"

I kiss the top of her head and breathe in the smell-good scent of her hair products. "I wasn't setting up a threesome, Bella. Alice agreed to help me out if I did her a favor: set her up with my sister. She's a lesbian."

"Oh."

"Yeah... oh. We have to work on our communication if we're ever gonna work. No more of this pussyfooting around bullshit, you hear me?"

I smooth her hair and run my hands up and down the sides of her arms, waiting on a reply.

"Bella?"

"Stop."

"Huh? Stop what?"

"_This_! What you're doing, all of this—just stop!"

"What do you want me to stop?"

"Everything! How you're acting, being all caring and lovey-dovey. That's not you. Just—stop!"

I back up, pissed as hell. "So let me get this straight. You don't want me to be caring? You _want _me to be an asshole?"

"I don't know!"

"That doesn't make any fuckin' sense, Bella. What the fuck?"

"You're not this guy, this guy who cares about people and is gentle and attentive. I don't want that."

So fuckin' ridiculous. I'm seething where I stand, seriously wanting to punch a hole through one of these stifling ass walls.

I stalk closer to her, until she's backed against a wall, our chests flush. "I tried to be fucking nice, Bella."

I lift her skirt and fist her underwear tightly before ripping them away from her body. The sounds of her heavy breathing fills the humid room and it pisses me off that _this _is all she wants from me.

Grabbing her waist and turning her around, ass to my hips, I snatch her hair out of the bun and yank, pulling her head back toward me.

"Is _this_ what you wanted?"

When there's no reply, I take that as a "yes" and I'm fucking pissed. After what we shared, after my fucking _trying_, this is all she wants from me. Well, if it's fucking she wants, fucking is what she'll get.

I fumble with my zipper for a few seconds before it's down and I pull my dick out, stroking it a few times before I push into Bella hard as hell.

I try not to groan, I really do, but fuck, it feels so good. She always feels so good and slick and warm. Fuck. She gasps loudly when I start moving inside of her, roughly pushing and pulling, in and out as I grip the hell out of her hips and pull her down onto my cock as I delve into her. Deeper and deeper.

Fuck, she's so wet and she's tightening around me, pulsing and pulling me in deeper. I put my hand on her back and push her down further, creating new depths, allowing me to slip in a little deeper and we both fucking moan at how good this shit feels. Because it's amazing. It's always amazing.

Being in this dark elevator is heightening every other sense, especially touch. Fuck, she feels even better than I remember as my hands travel to her waist, feeling the silky, smell-good skin.

Every time I push into her, I feel her ass jiggle a little with the impact. That soft, round ass. I smack it and she yelps in surprise. I slap it again and I feel her pussy contract and widen as she comes for me. _Only for me._ The sexy ass sounds drive me to go harder, fuck, I need to hear those sounds again. I need to make her come again. She's mine. Fucking _mine._

My shirt is damp with sweat, so I swipe it off and throw it somewhere, my hands immediately going back to Bella's luscious fucking hips. My fingers are digging into her skin and I can't get enough. I want more of her. I need more of her. The loud, wet sounds of our fucking isn't enough. The quiet sighs and panting coming from Bella aren't enough. The coiling and tightening in my body isn't enough. I fucking need _more_.

I feel her coming again, hear her making those beautiful noises and I let loose—pounding without mercy until I follow her, roaring like a savage as I empty myself into her slick pussy, satisfied that the remnant of our being together is still in her. No one else can have her. She's fucking _mine_.

As soon as I'm finished, I pull out and want to whine like a toddler. I never want to be away from her. I wish I could _always _be inside of her. So good.

I back up and zip up my pants, melting to the floor in exhaustion. It's hot as the devil's asscrack in here.

After a few minutes of silence, I start to wonder what Bella's doing—why's she so quiet?

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry."

Wow, never thought I'd hear that. I jump when I feel something press against my side before I calm down, realizing it's her.

"I'm scared."

I sigh and kiss her, hopefully on her forehead. "I know, but I won't hurt you, Bella."

"I know." She sniffles a little bit and I pull her tightly into my body.

"I'll never cheat on you. Never. You're the only one I want. No one else."

Her body shakes and I know she's crying so I just sit there with her, rubbing her back, her arms, her soft ass hair.

"Yes."

The word startles me, 'cause it's been quiet for so long and I was starting to fall asleep. "Huh? Yes, what?"

The elevator jerks around a bit and my heart starts speeding as I tighten my hold on Bella. Not again.

"Hey, you two!" someone yells from above us. "We're bringing you up!"

Relief floods through my body. We're finally gonna be free. The elevator starts moving, slowly ascending and I feel on top of the world with Bella in my arms.

"Yes," Bella whispers into the darkness. "I'm your girl."

My mouth opens and closes repeatedly before I just give up on responding, smiling like a goofy fucker as we slowly move to safety.

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**A/N:**

**Now ya'll should know I'm not gonna kill these two! I know I was evil, hinting to some of you that I might kill Bella *snickers***

**I forgot to tell you all that I have an entry in the There Will Be Blood Contest. It's anonymous, so I can't tell you which one is mine, but I've been told that it's pretty obvious :-) Go read and vote! Voting started a few days ago.**

**So, I just finished Vishous' book and I'm not sure how I feel about the ending. What the hell was that with Jane? IDK if I like that. What happened with Mary was believable, but Jane? Really? What do you all think?**

**As you all know, coachlady1 is my amazing beta and she also has an entry for the There Will Be Blood Contest. It's fuckhot and witty as all hell. You'll love it!**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:**

***IMPORTANT***

**Best Car Fuck, Best Cherry Pop, Best Fingerbang/Handjob, Best Angry Sex... do I have your attention, now? Hahaha!**

**Nominations are open for the Golden Lemon Awards and there is now a non-canon category! Us Jasper lovers now have a chance to win something without competing against the canon shippers! Woo hoo! *throws up the Jasper Lovers gang sign***

**Go here to nominate your favorite lemons and be sure to nominate a non-canon story!**

**http:/www . Kwiksurveys . ?surveyID=KMJEJM_f43daa24&UID=1614147848**

**Thank goodness for Twitter, cause ya'll know I woulda kept slackin' and looking at pr0n if you didn't make me go write! Extra thanks to Handsandfingers for being my alarm clock (with the annoying beeping and everything) and keeping me in check ;-)**

**Let's take a look and see how the new couple is getting along, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I did, Jasper would be giving me lots of spanks (and orgasms) for my birthday *cough*mybirthdayisJuly12*cough***

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After Jasper and I declared ourselves, we stayed cooped up at my place having delicious sex on every surface... multiple times. I guess since we'd known each other for so long, we just bypassed a lot of steps and moved right on to the "damn near living together" phase. Which was weird when you thought about it, since we'd only been an official couple for about six minutes. But it felt right. I guess we were in the honeymoon phase or something because we just couldn't get enough of each other. Thank gawd it was the off-season, because I would have been kicked off the team for missing so many practices. Hell, we barely made it to work on time, pushing our limits until the very last second.

We constantly cuddled and talked and laughed whenever Maury declared, "You are... NOT the father!"

Stupid girls, lying about who they screwed.

Overall, our time together was perfect, which is really strange because who would have thought I'd actually enjoy spending time with Shitlock? I really should stop calling him names now that he's my boyfriend. It's kind of hard, though, since that shit is ingrained in my DNA.

We had a lot of things in common and a lot of things _not_ in common. And those disagreements led to some deliciously hot make-up sex. Yum.

After about a month of living off of Chinese food and staying wrapped around each other, I began to get bored. I mean, Jasper was a fantastic guy—caring, funny, witty, attentive, sexy as all hell, and his schlong was in a league of its own. But I couldn't help but feel... off. Like something was missing. I couldn't place what the hell it was, though, and it drove me insane. Shouldn't I be happy? Shouldn't I be satisfied and grateful to have snagged one of the good ones?

"Aw, hell. I forgot the pop. Can you get it for me, baby?"

Jasper's silky voice pulls me out of my head. Well, his voice and his fingers. His fingers that are slowly traveling up and down my arm, coming dangerously close to grazing my side-boob.

We're sitting on the couch watching _The Price Is Right_, eating sandwiches for lunch and Jasper is pouting. I want to lick and fuck that pout right off of his face. So cute. I relent and decide to give him what he wants, but first I do what I want and kiss the hell out of him before heading to the kitchen.

He smacks my ass as I walk away. "Hurry up and come back. I bet I can beat your ass in the Showcase Showdown."

I roll my eyes. I _always _win Showcase Showdown. I grab the pop out of the refrigerator and something stops me. I just stand there, staring at the soft drink, when I suddenly have an epiphany. _The_ "aha!" of all "aha!" moments

I smile as I hastily shake up the bottle. _This_ is what we're missing. We're not this perfect, loving couple. We didn't start off that way and we hopefully never_ will_ be that couple. We're pranksters, jokers. It's what we do, what we love. It's what makes us, _us_. How could I have missed this?

"Hey, baby! Hurry up! It's almost time!"

I snicker as I walk back to the living room and kiss my man. "Sorry, I was checking to see if we had anything else to drink."

"You thirsty? Want some of my pop?"

Ever the gentleman._ We'll change that_.

I smile and try with all my might not to laugh. "No thanks. I'm fine."

I miss the Showcase Showdown. It's drowned out by Jasper's cursing as Pepsi explodes in his face... oh, and my hysterical laughter at his girly scream.

When he realizes what's happened, he looks at me with huge, surprised eyes. "You... did this?"

His gaze turns serious, and suddenly I'm not so sure the prank was a good idea. I thought he'd take it better than this. I thought he'd laugh and declare his revenge like he usually would. But maybe he doesn't expect these things anymore. Maybe he's through with the jokes. Maybe he wants a normal relationship and a normal, non-prankster girlfriend. I think I just screwed up.

His face twists in anger as he jolts up and stomps to the bathroom. I'm too stupefied to do anything other than gape at his back.

_Yeah. I screwed up._

I try to apologize throughout the day, but he ignores me. And when we go to bed, for the first time, he doesn't touch me. In fact, he's clear on the other side of the bed with his back turned to me—a clear signal that he's still pissed.

_I really screwed up._

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**Thursday - The Next Day**

It's _Maury_ time and I'm on the couch alone. We _always _watch _Maury_ together. With each second I spend alone, I grow more and more despondent. I really didn't mean to upset him. I was just trying to have fun.

_What will I do if he leaves me?_

"Baby, can we talk?"

My eyebrows shoot to my hairline hearing Jasper's voice. It'd been almost a whole day since I'd heard it last.

_He called me baby! That's a good thing!_

_Right?_

"Yeah—yes, we can talk."

My palms are suddenly sweating as he sits down next to me.

"I overreacted and I'm not mad anymore—"

"Oh, Jasper!" I throw myself on him and hug his neck tightly, surprised at my overzealous reaction.

_I really do care about this shmuck, don't I?_

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think you'd be mad. I didn't want to make you mad. I was so scared. I'll be better from now on. I'm sorry, so so—"

He chuckles and kisses me and I melt in his arms. "It's alright, baby. Here, I made ya something."

I look down as he produces a plate of strawberries covered in whipped cream and warmth blossoms through my body. This man. He's so good to me.

I can do this; we can have a normal relationship. I can learn to deal with it and we'll work. He's such a great man and I'm so lucky to have him.

My smile damn near breaks my face as I reach for the plate.

"Thank you so much. You're so sweet and I'm so damn stupid."

It doesn't escape my notice that he doesn't object to my saying I'm stupid. I'll begrudgingly let that pass. This time.

I'm practically giddy as I pick up the juiciest strawberry and take a bite, chewing enthusiastically as my toes wiggle to the beat of a happy song in my head.

My chewing gradually slows as a weird taste fills my mouth. Bitter and just... gross. I spit out what's in my mouth and my face scrunches up in disgust. What the fuck is that?

Understanding dawns on me when I figure out what's happened. Shaving cream. The fucker put shaving cream on the strawberries. And by the way his cheeks are puffed up from holding in laughter, I'd say I guessed right.

_Fucker!_

I calmly place the plate down before jumping on him and repeatedly slapping and punching the hell out of any inch of his body that he isn't trying to block.

He's laughing and it's making me mad. Fucker made me think he was pissed when he was just plotting! Sneaky bastard!

"Bella! Oh shit!" Now he's laughing louder. "Oh yeah, right there. That feels nice. Your punches feel like... puppy kisses!" More laughing.

_Dickcheese!_

Oh, he's gonna pay!

I calmly get off of his lap and sit next to him on the couch, crossing my arms and pouting.

"Fine. We're even, shitty assnugget."

He snuggles closer to me, wrapping his arms around me. "Aw, baby, don't be mad!"

_Oh, I'm not mad, Cuntsper. You'll damn sure get yours._

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**Friday**

"Fuck!"

I open my eyes and glance at the clock, smiling on the inside.

_Perfect._

My plan is already working.

Jasper always, without question, wakes up late on Fridays. Always.

So, now, here he is, rushing out of bed, scrambling around like a chicken with its head cut off, which is perfect because he won't notice what I've done until it's too late.

He's in the bathroom, brushing his teeth with the door wide open and I openly appreciate the view. His boxers are slung low on his hips, ass damn near peeking out as his back muscles move to and fro with each swipe of the toothbrush across his pearly whites.

Delicious.

As he reaches for his deodorant, I stifle back a giggle. This is gonna be so good. He gives his pits a double-take but then shrugs it off as he rushes out of the bathroom, struggling into his clothes as he hops around the room.

"I want you, baby, but I'm just too fuckin' late right now."

I lay it on thick with a whiny voice and extra pouting. "Oh no! No sexin'? Hurrumf!"

Hey, I'm not going for an Oscar here.

He laughs, his beautiful eyes crinkling at the corners. Swoon. Before I know it, he's kissing me goodbye and I'm palming his crotch and he's moaning/cursing and he's gone.

Now that he's out the door, there's no way he'll notice until he gets to work. He's always preoccupied while driving to work, especially if he's running late.

I'm sure he'll call or text before his lunch break, wondering why his pits are smelling so unsavory. By that time, the sour cream should be smelling especially pungent.

I snicker to myself as I roll over and prepare to sleep the day away. It's so wonderful to have an extra day off.

Just as I begin to drift away to dreamland, my phone chirps. I smirk as I pick it up and open the text.

**You're toast, you little shit!**

I answer back, struggling to type due to my obnoxious cackling.

**Smelling kind of... sour, are we?**

It takes a few minutes for him to respond.

**You done fucked up now, Swan.**

I smile deviously as my brain concocts all kinds of diabolical shit. _Game on, Whitlock._

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**Saturday**

"I don't trust you."

"I don't trust _you_."

"What are you gonna do?"

"What are _you_ gonna do?"

After a couple days of pranks, Jasper and I are on edge, constantly thinking the other is up to something. And we were both right. I've been thinking up shit and I _know _he has too, especially since yesterday's stinky pit debacle. He smelled so foul when he stepped through the door that he ended up having to throw his shirt away. It was a lost cause.

I am _so_ awesome.

We're currently on the couch, my head in his lap as he mindlessly plays with my hair. My body is tensed and ready to rumble, expecting him to spring something on me at any minute—itching powder, a sprinkling of asbestos, a tickle... _something._

"I'll bet he's the dad."

I snort. "No way. She said she's 1,000% sure. Anything over 101% and it's guaranteed that the guy isn't the dad. Haven't I taught you _anything_?"

"Put your money where your mouth is."

"Seriously?" God, he's dense. I have a 97% success rate when guessing the outcome of these DNA tests. I am _so _gonna win this bet!

"Yeah."

"Fine. What do you want if you win?"

"A blowjob. Every day for a month." His smile could light up New York City and I roll my eyes. What a dude.

Dummy doesn't realize that I'd do it anyway. I should start charging that gorgeous cock rent for all the time it spends in my mouth.

"Fine. And if I win, you have to hand wash my car... in a string bikini."

"Fuck. Alright, deal."

"Shake on it."

We stiffly shake hands and turn to the TV, paying close attention to the hot mess on the screen.

_"Murry, he ain't no good!"_

_"No, bitch you ain't no good! That ain't my baby. You was pregnant for seventeen months, witcho lyin' ass!"_

_"Murry, I'm 3,000% sure that he's the daddy. I wasn't with nobody else. He's so ignant. Just ignant!"_

_"That ain't my baby, ho. Look at all them wrinkles on yo face. You done messed with so many dudes, they done *bleeped* the life outta you. Matter fact... that's Maury baby!"_

_"Murry, he looked at the ultrasound pitcher and said the baby don't look like him. That don't make no sense! How you say a ultrasound don't look like you?"_

_"If that ugly thang is my baby, I'm jumpin' off the Empire State Building and __**then**__ Imma shoot myself in the head!"_

_"Okay, okay," Maury interjects, "it's time for the results."_

The crowd erupts into loud applause as Maury reaches for the folder holding the test results and they quiet as he sits down.

He slowly opens the folder and everyone holds their breath as he looks at the paper. I _have _to win. I chance a quick look at Jasper and he looks nervous.

Having doubts, are we?

_"Terrence, when it comes to baby Terrence Junior, you are..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_NOT the father!"_

I jump in the air at the same time as Terrence, fist pumping away. "YES! Boo-yah!"

_I knew it! You ho! You betta change that ugly baby's name!"_

"Don't doubt the science, Whitlock!"

He cuts his eyes at me as I triumphantly shimmy and cabbage patch around the room for half an hour.

What can I say? I love winning.

And I plan on collecting my debt. Soon.

xxxxxxxxxx

**A/N:**

**So this was kinda short, I know. But I wanted to hurry up and get it out to you guys! Looks like they're getting along beautifully *snickers***

**Don't worry, we'll be seeing Jasper in a thong and he **_**will**_** be getting his revenge. The picture teasers I posted on Twitter will come into play next chapter :-D**

**Voting is open for the Alternate Shippers Challenge! There are some amazing entries, but you all should vote for me and JasperLuver48 'cause she rocks hard.**

**http:/www . Fanfiction . net/u/2333273/Alternate_Shippers_Challenge**

**Oh, and one last thing... there's a new poll on my profile. Vote, please! :-D**

**As you all know by now, coachlady1 beta'd with her magical, sexy fingers. *looks at coachlady1 and flashes boobs***

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**

**Hey lovely ladies! ... hmmm, do any guys read this story? **

**Anywho, for those of you who are fans of Bella's Dirty Notebook, but don't have it on alert, I'm now continuing it and chapter two has been posted! I know, it's about time, huh? :-P Be sure to check it out... after you read and review this chapter, of course :-D**

**Oh yeah, for future reference, look at this chart. Figure D**** (remove the spaces)**

**http:/www . spaceandmotion . com/Images/sexology/tantra-sexual-positions . jpg**

**'Tis all.**

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"Jasper, can you come here, please?"

I know he suspects something is up because my tone is as sweet as a Boy George lollipop.

Jasper joins me in the bathroom a few seconds later, looking suspicious. And he should, because what I have planned isn't gonna be fun... Well, it won't be fun for _him_. I, on the other hand, will be tap dancing on the inside.

"Hey, babe!" I smile brightly.

He gives me the side eye. "What are you up to? What's behind your back?"

I gasp and bring my free hand to my throat, feigning shock. "I'm offended! I just wanted to say 'hi' to my boyfriend. Why do you always think I'm up to something?"

"Because ninety-eight percent of the time, you are. Now, what's behind your back?"

"It's a surprise. Take off your pants and underwear."

"Shit, baby, you don't have to tell me twice."

He's naked from the bottom down before the sentence is even finished.

"Now, close your eyes."

His eyes quickly squeeze shut.

"No peeking, Whitlock."

"I won't."

Poor thing. I'm pretty positive that he thinks he's about to get a little oral stimulation. There have been plenty of times when I told him to drop trou so I could suck him off because honestly, that cock of his is too yummy _not_ to suck it at random.

Too bad for him that now is not one of those times.

I get down on my knees, quietly taking out my tools and setting them on the floor at his feet.

"Okay, open!"

_Aw, he looks so confused._

"What? I thought—what is this shit?"

"It's time to collect my prize."

"Prize?"

"Washing my car in a string bikini..."

"What the fuck does this shit have to do with that?"

He looks pretty belligerent now that he knows a blowjob isn't in his immediate future.

"Well, you can't wear a string bikini with pubes hangin' out every which way. You need to be groomed."

"I ain't no goddamn poodle, Bella. I'm a man, damn it and men don't groom!"

"It'll be fine, Jas. Besides," I run my fingers up the bare skin on his calves. "Being bare will make sex better. _And_ it'll make your cock look bigger—not that it's small or anything, because it's pretty damn massive."

I can see the wheels turning in his head as I look up at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, damn it, but you better not scorch any layers of skin off Screech with that hot-ass wax."

Screech is what Jasper had recently named his schlong. He chose the name because, not only does he have a cultish fascination with _Saved by the Bell_, but apparently his dick has turned me into a one of those annoying porno-sounding chicks. I'd hit him on the chest when he told me this, but I couldn't deny it, because that shit was true. In my defense, it's almost impossible _not _to scream and moan when you're having the best orgasms in the history of orgasms. _Multiple times._ Jasper's enchanted peen could bring me out of a coma, I swear.

"Don't worry, I won't burn you—" He gives me a warning look and I roll my eyes. "_Or _Screech."

Jasper still looks apprehensive and nervous as hell, so I smile sweetly at him to silently reassure that he'll be fine, before reaching for the applicator and dipping it into the wax.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

He flinches when the warm wax touches his skin. "It's okay, see? It's not that hot."

Now it's time for the strip.

I pick one up and smooth it over a small patch of hair, making sure each little pube has adhered.

"Okay, ready?"

He nods his head and I yank the strip as soon as he gives the okay.

"Mfffph!"

His hands are fisted at his side and his face is scrunched up all cute-like.

"You okay?"

"Just... hurry up."

So I do. I continue with the routine of wax on, strip, strip off. And while I'm certainly enjoying the view, I didn't expect to enjoy it so _thoroughly_.

_Wax on, strip, strip off._

I'd planned on taking joy from Jasper's pain, on having a jolly good time while he writhed in pain. But for some reason the fact that his peen would be dangling in my face, looking all royally awesome and shit never occurred to me. It's just _there_.

_In my face._

Why didn't I think of this before?

_Wax on, strip, strip off._

With each jerk of his body, that cock moves and sways so damn deliciously.

This is supposed to be about revenge and I can't even concentrate enough to bask in his misery. And the grunts. Oh, the grunts. They sound so damn sexy. Every time I pull a strip, he grunts. Every time he grunts, my panties disintegrate a little. And I have to swallow the saliva gathering under my tongue. And stop myself from engulfing that cock in my mouth.

_Wax on, strip, strip off._

Fifteen minutes in and I'm about to spontaneously combust. Jasper's body is tensed, pronouncing every muscle of his abs. His fists are clenched, arms bulging, veins prominent. He's radiating so much fucking hotness right now and doesn't even know it. Thank fuck his eyes are squeezed shut because he can always tell when I'm horny and I don't want him to have the satisfaction.

_Wax on, strip, strip off._

Sexy bastard.

I'm finally almost finished. Just two more strips and I'll be done.

_You can do this, Bella. Just don't pay attention to the peen._

_Wax on, strip, strip off._

His hips twitch and I, in turn, jump back, startled as hell when his dick whacks my cheek.

I look up ready to give him a piece of my mind, but his face is still stuck in that scrunched-up, cute mode.

_He didn't even realize he did it. _

I shrug and continue.

_Wax on, strip, strip off._

Once I'm finished, I grab some aloe vera gel and massage it into his reddened skin while admiring my work.

_Big mistake._

His peen looks so... magnificent, succulent, huge and _hard._

It looks incredible.

Jasper's hips jolt again and I know that this time it was definitely on purpose because he's smirking down at me and his eyes are full of mischief.

I decide to fuck with him a little. The thought of Jasper having blue balls while he's stuck washing my car is pretty damn funny. Plus, I'll get to do what I've been wanting to do for about half an hour.

_Suck that peen._

While looking up at him, I gently grab his cock and teasingly, softly lick my way around his bulging head, teasing the very tip with a few flicks of my tongue.

Jasper's hand moves to the back of my head, his eyes devouring every single thing I do and after a few seconds, he slowly wets his bottom lip with his tongue.

_Fuuuuck._

I wrap my lips around the tip, twirling my tongue to moisten the skin while working my way down. We both moan when he's in as far as he will go and I gently drag my teeth across his shaft as I move back to the tip, sucking in my cheeks as I go.

He hisses and the hand that was resting on my head is now gripping the hell out of my hair. I moan around him and take him deeper, using my tongue to caress every inch that I can reach.

Each time I come back to the peak, I tease it for a few seconds, licking and sucking and nipping on his most sensitive skin.

"Fuck, Bella. Shit, don't stop."

His body is radiating heat and our breathing has quickened, each intake of air full of frenzied need.

My clit is throbbing between my legs, becoming more desperate for stimulation with each groan and growl that escapes from Jasper's lips.

This was supposed to be a tease—I really should stop. But I can't. I can't get enough of the way he pulses in my mouth when he's close, or the way he reverently whispers my name right before he comes, or the fact that I can literally bring this incredible man to his knees with just a few flicks of my tongue.

No, I can't stop.

_Fuck._

His knees begin to wobble, gasps of air escaping in a rush and I know he's so exceedingly close. I suck harder, faster, take him deeper while working my hand up and down in tandem.

I lower my free hand to my clit, thankful that there's only a little pair of boy shorts in my way. Shoving my fingers past the waistband, I gasp at the sensation as soon as my fingertips come in contact with the swollen nerve. I immediately begin pressing and circling and rubbing to the rhythm that my hand is making at the base of Jasper's thick shaft.

My moans are now rivaling his—we're both almost there.

"Oh fuck. Are you...? Oh shit... _Bella_..."

His body stiffens as a bitter, hot stream shoots into my mouth and I relax my throat, trying not to gag as I swallow. I'm on my back in the blink of an eye, Jasper's eyes full of fire as he hovers over me.

"You touched yourself..."

"Yes," I'm panting and needy, so fucking needy I'm writhing my sex against his strong thigh.

"You've never done that before..." His eyes are full of wonder and erotic thirst.

"I know." I continue my writhing while lowering my hand to where it needs to be, stroking and tapping, each sensation more gratifying than the last. I don't care about the sounds I'm making or the way my face looks or how my hips are moving, I'm frantic. So fucking desperate.

"_Holy shit._"

My eyes flutter open to see Jasper gawking at me with wide, hungry eyes. He wets his bottom lip and my hips jerk as soon as I see his glistening tongue. I feel a slightly painful tugging and realize that my panties are being ripped off, the distinct sound reverberating around the room.

Never taking his eyes from mine, Jasper grabs my busy hand, brings it to his mouth and lewdly wraps his tongue around each finger before lifting both of my hands above my head, securing my wrists in his grip. And I feel him, hard as steel against my stomach.

Lucky for me, my Jas needs very little recovery time when he's really horny.

He's hovering over me, his heavy weight a soothing comfort. His tip is at my entrance, teasing me, _tormenting _me, repeatedly sliding the head in before retreating. I'm gasping for air, needing to feel him, needing release.

"Jasper... oh fuck... _please._"

He lifts one of my legs, kissing my calf tenderly before resting it on his shoulder and leaning forward.

"You want more, baby?" His tip is teasing again, barely moving inside of me.

"Yes. _More_." My body is flaming, _alive _and on the brink.

His hips heave and I gasp as I feel all of him in me, stretching me. He's surging in and out, his long, hard, purposeful strokes making me scream his name as my orgasm pummels through my body, releasing waves of ecstasy.

He pulls out and quickly lowers his face to my sex, taking no mercy as his tongue wildly flicks my clit.

"Oh... _fuck!"_

My eyes squeeze shut as his fingers push inside of me, pulsing in and out, pressing against that magical spot as his tongue licks and circles in that special way that makes my heart stutter.

No sound is released as my body clenches, back arching off of the tiled floor as bolts of pleasure thrash from my core.

I'm flipped around like a rag doll, my face buried in the fluffy bathroom rug as he quickly enters me again in one powerful thrust. I call his name, arching my back as much as possible to feel more_._

I feel my skin give as he tightly grips my hips, roughly pulling me back onto his length while he pushes into me. He leans forward, pressing his torso flat against my back, his thrusts becoming more urgent and shallow as he bites and licks my shoulders.

I feel his body tense behind me as he comes with a roar and it's the sexiest fucking sound I've ever heard. As he gently pushes my back, I flatten my body onto the floor while he continues moving inside of me.

"You gotta come again, baby."

He grabs my arms and pulls, lifting my chest off of the floor, my back arching as he lunges ferociously into me.

This new angle is _unreal_. With each movement, he's brushing against that _spot_ and my body is immediately heating, thrill blooming as his grip on my forearms tightens.

"Come, damn it."

I feel him beginning to soften and immediately know that he wants me to get one more orgasm in before he's completely limp. He still feels so deliriously good, my head is swimming, my body is damp and I'm so close.

He pulls my arms, making my back arch even more and his tip pushes right into that spot and I'm electrified. I'm seeing stars, and nonsensical screams pour out of my mouth as I let go and experience the best orgasm of my life.

Before I can fully bask in the magnitude of my orgasm, I feel warmth running down the insides of my thighs. And I'm mortified.

_Oh, my fucking God._

_Did I just piss myself?_

Jasper lets go of my arms and collapses on top of me while I pray that I melt into the floor and disappear through the cracks in the grout. I seriously wanna cry right now.

I feel his lips against the nape of my neck as he catches his breath. "Holy fuck, that was so hot, Bella."

I stay quiet. If he doesn't know that I peed while in the throes of passion, I'm damn sure not telling him. Hell. No.

"I can't believe you squirted. _Goddamn_."

_Squirted?_

_Like a porno?_

"Squirted? Like a porno?" I shake my head at my lack of verbal filter.

"Yeah. So fuckin' sexy." He grinds his now hardening cock into my ass.

Wow. No wonder it felt different than other orgasms. It was really, _really _fucking good.

I don't know what I'm more happy about—squirting like a pro or the fact that it's love juice and not piss that's running down my legs.

Hmm... think I'm gonna go with squirting on this one. That was pretty fucking awesome.

I crane my neck around to look at him, pushing my ass back onto Screech. "I want more."

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**A/N:**

**Um, I know I said that the bikini car wash would be in this chapter, but Jasper and Bella took over and things just didn't work out the way I planned. This was **_**not**_** what I was gonna write, but who am I to deny Jas? Plus, you got a lot of Jasper sexin' here. That's always a good thing. *nods head***

**As you all know, coachlady1 is awesome as fuck because she lets me grab her boobs while she betas. Oh yeah.**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:**

**Thought I'd give you all a treat and let you get into Jasper's head this chapter :-)**

**If you haven't already, be sure to check out **_**OPERATION: Breakup**_**, my J/E slash fic for the Slash Backslash Contest****. I made it to the final voting round! Woot!**

**Oh, and go vote, 'cause voting ends today I think.**

**www . fanfiction . net/u/2110516/Slash_Backslash**

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Now, of course, I've seen squirting in porn and shit, but I didn't know _real_ women did that shit! When Bella squirted? Goddamn if that didn't boost my ego 700 percent.

Who the fuck else can say they made their girl squirt? None of _my_ friends, that's for damn sure, 'cause if they did, I'd have heard about it. Dudes gossip and brag more than chicks do, believe that. And when she wiggled her ass and said she wanted more? Well, fuck if I didn't wanna push her against a wall and fuck her blind.

But Screech wasn't having it. Poor guy was spent. And I told her so. She got all pissy after that, obviously upset because she wanted to see if she could squirt again. I told her that there was always tomorrow and she gave me the stink eye, telling me to get ready and hopped in the shower.

I didn't know what she was talking about, so I opened the curtain and asked just that.

"Ready for what?"

"Your bikini debut."

_What the fuck? _"You're serious?"

"Yep."

_You weren't thinking about me washing your car just a few minutes ago._

She whipped her head around, water flinging everywhere, and judging by her face, I'd said that out loud.

Damn.

"Well, I am now."

"Don't be so pissed. I said we can try tomorrow with your impatient ass."

I wait for a reply but don't get one, effectively letting my ass know that I'm being given the silent treatment—the one thing that men despise more than withholding sex. Well, maybe not _more_, because cockblocking should be a crime, but it's right up there with it, that's for damn sure.

_Must be about to start her period or something, with her moody, irrational ass. Talking to her would be a waste of time and oxygen since she'll be mad until she's ready to quit being mad. Nothing I can do about it._

I shrug and walk to the front room, ready to play _Grand Theft Auto_ so I can beat up some hoes and steal shit. I swear, this is the most genius game ever.

Some uptight, lazy assholes have problems with this type of video game because they say it's a bad influence for kids. Hey, news flash, parents: If you would have raised your kid like a parent is _supposed_ to do without depending on the TV and video games to do it, maybe little Johnny wouldn't have grown up to be a fucking sociopath.

Just a thought.

I'm in a strip club, enjoying a lap dance from some chick I'm about to rob. She probably has a few hundred, I'll have enough to get a new tat after I leave here—

Great. Now Bella's just standing there next to the TV with her arms crossed, not saying a damn thing. I'm gonna need to say something, 'cause her stubborn ass will stand there until she atrophies and mummifies and shit before breaking the silence.

"Yes, honey bunches?" I continue playing even though I'm pretty sure she's shooting eye laser daggers at me.

She huffs and I don't even have to look at her to know she's rolling her eyes. "Get to washin'."

I sigh. She's not gonna drop this shit, so I might as well get it over with. The sooner I wash that POS, the sooner I can get back to being an all around GTA badass.

"Where's the suit?"

"In the room."

Before heading to the bedroom, I make sure my game is saved because knowing Bella she'd purposely turn off the PlayStation to make me lose all my progress with her sneaky ass.

I'm staring at the bed and... I mean, I've seen plenty of these things on girls but I never thought twice or gave a damn about how to put one on. My specialty is taking those suckers _off_. So I'm staring at these little strips of fabric and string like, "What the fuck?" Where do I even begin? And how in the ever lovin' hell is this itty bitty piece of pink shiny shit gonna cover even a _third_ of my dick?

"Bella!"

She saunters into the room lookin' _really_ smug and asshole-ish. "Yes?"

"You know good and well I can't put this on. How the hell am I supposed to know which string goes where?"

"Well," she draws out the word as she walks over to the pile of strings. "This," she picks up one of said strings, "is the top. See how it has these two triangles? Those are to cover the boobs."

I don't know whose boobs she's talking about because those triangles definitely can't cover _hers_.

"Is this new?"

"No. Why?"

"You've worn this?"

"Uh, yes?"

Okay, I'm gettin' really pissed now.

"Where?"

She rolls her eyes. "Pool, beach, lakes... you know, places where people _swim_."

"That's bullshit. Who the fuck has seen you in this?" I'm all up in her face then momentarily lose track of all thought when I feel her nipples press into my chest.

_Mmmm. Nipples._

"Jasper, God! I don't know, _everyone_, okay? Let's just say _everyone _has seen me in the damn swimsuit."

_Oh yeah._ I almost forgot that I'm supposed to be mad.

"This ain't no fuckin' _swimsuit_, Bella. This is a goddamn tag with silly string holding it together. Washing instructions can't even fit on the thing. Can these fuckin' material scraps even _cover _your nipples?"

_Nipples._

Hers are poking through her shirt and she's still slightly damp from the shower so the fabric is clinging to her boobs. Those round, soft, beautiful boobs.

She's saying something, but I don't hear. Her arms are waving all around but I'm not paying much attention. I try not to stare, really. But fuck. How am I supposed to _not_ look when she's wet and not wearing a bra? And the more she moves her arms, the more her boobs jiggle. So I figure if I keep ignoring her, the jiggling should reach an all-time high in a few seconds.

_Nipples._

I'm getting hard pretty fast but I can't pay attention to that because, fuck, they're _jiggling_. I wonder if she'd be pissed if I just jacked off right here while I continued ignoring her to watch her boobs.

She should be flattered, right? That I can't resist her jiggling boobs? If I were a chick, I'd be glad that my boyfriend purposely ignored me just to stare at my boobs. That would mean that he really liked my boobs, which would be a good thing. Girls like knowing they have killer boobs, right?

Wait, wait, she's turning away.

No!

"Hey! Where are you going?"

I follow her and grab her arm to stop her.

"I can't believe you were just playing with yourself! I was yelling and you were fondling your cock. What the hell, Jasper?"

Damn, I didn't even realize I was palming myself. That's the power of the boobs for ya.

"Um... I like your boobs?"

She cracks a smile. _Yes!_ I'm forgiven! "You're ridiculous."

"I know, baby." I move closer, bend my knees and grind my dick into her. She moans and gives me that look. Oh, yeah. "Come here." I take her hand in mine and pull her back into the room. "Why don't you model that bikini for me?"

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**A/N:**

**DON'T KILL ME! They keep taking over the chapters and re-writing them! And since this one was so short, I'm gonna try my fucking hardest to get another chapter up tomorrow or the next day at the latest. Hopefully these two kids will finally stop fucking and move on to the car washing!**

**Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoyed this little glimpse into Jasper's horny, ridiculous brain. :-D**

**Oh! I have a new drabbles fic full of short, random stories. Check it out!**

**You all know coachlady1 beta'd. She's cheating on me, ya'll. She's *gulps* beta'ing for other people now too *sobs* I think she owes me an orgy. That's the least she can do, right? I need some lovin'.**

**Until next time. Smooches! ^_^**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**

**Here we go! Another one! I think I deserve a few gropes for getting another chapter out so fast *sits back and waits***

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Damn Jasper and his stupendous cock. Thanks to him I'm now walking around like I've been barebacking on a horse for twenty-four hours straight.

I remember back in high school when Lauren Mallory showed up to first period walking with a bowlegged limp. Everyone, including me, made fun of her for being such a majorly epic slut. Now, I think that maybe I was too hard on her. I mean, maybe she just came across some Jasper-quality peen, you know? Who could fault her for getting as much of that as she possibly could? I would have done the same thing. Hell, I _did_ do the same thing. I can't turn the man down. I just can't.

I'd strutted around in the skimpy bikini like he'd asked, teasing and wiggling my ass. Yeah, Jasper pretty much attacked me, growling and biting and grabbing... guh, it was so hot. Right when I was about to come, he made me promise that I'd never wear that bathing suit for anyone but him. He knew I would acquiesce since I'd agree to sell my soul to George Bush in the throes of passion. Sneaky bastard.

The squirting was a no-go, but he gave me two extra orgasms to make up for it, which was pretty damn awesome indeed.

After round... whatever the hell round it was because I lost count, I showed him how to put on the suit and here I am, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom.

He's been in there for twenty minutes and I'm tempted to just bust through the door to see what the hell he's doing. It can't take that long to put on a suit, I don't care how clueless you are. I showed him _exactly_—

The door creaks open and I excitedly wait for him to make his grand entrance.

Sweet Jesus.

Holy damn.

I close my eyes before I end up attacking him. This is so wrong. So wrong for him to look like this in a bikini. I mean, of course the top is a little ridiculous. But I'm not looking at that.

Tongue traces lip as my eyes travel over sun-kissed, toned skin. Protruding calf muscles leading up to strong, muscular thighs, narrow hips and the pronounced "V" framing his lean torso. And his cock. It's... it's just _hanging out_. It won't stay in because he's kind of hard. I mean, he _tried_ to stuff it in there, but it just... _won't. _The fabric is holding him in place as the head of his cock grazes the smooth skin below his naval.

"You gonna stare at my dick all day?"

He's smirking. Cocky bastard. "No. And fuck you."

"Already did. Multiple times, actually."

"Shut up."

"So am I going outside like this? You're gonna let a bunch of chicks see what I'm packing?"

"You can just hit them on the head with it. That'll teach them a lesson."

"Bella, I'm not trying to _kill_ anyone."

I snort. Such a goober. But he does have a point. That thing could cause serious damage. I thought I'd broken my jaw or something after the first time I had it in my mouth. Learning how to get that peen between my lips without dislocating my jaw took a lot of practice but I'm a fuckin' pro now. An _artiste_ if I do say so myself.

"I have an idea!" I announce as I get up to walk to my dresser and pull out some shorts.

"Hell. No."

"Yep."

"This wasn't part of the agreement."

"Well, you can't go out like _that_." I wave toward his package to emphasize my point.

"_Goddamn it_. Fine."

He snatches the shorts from me and yanks them on and I giggle as I watch him struggle with the zipper. "These are too fuckin' small."

"No, they're not."

I walk over to him and roll the waistband which hikes the shorts even higher up his thighs, making the denim stretch for dear life against the muscley-ness. Then I grab his peen and he humps my hand. I give him a warning look before stuffing the massive thing into the shorts. He looks really uncomfortable. And sexy. But mostly uncomfortable. And I laugh because he's walking like he has a super-jumbo anal plug in his butthole.

"Keep laughin' and _you'll_ be the one getting a dick upside your head."

"Promise?"

He rolls his eyes. "Come on, damn you. Let's get this shit over with."

After getting all of the supplies, I sit back in my lawn chair and sip on some Snapple, whistling when he bends over to get a soapy sponge out of the bucket. He flips me off.

My laughter eventually tapers off as I watch his back move and flex, his legs tensing when he stands on his toes to reach over the hood. He turns around to get more soapy water and dear gawd, the front of his shorts are wet. I can see every glorious inch, every detail down to the ridge of his cock.

He lifts an eyebrow. "Like what you see, Swan?"

I can't think of anything halfway snarky so I just nod and he chuckles, continuing with the washing.

I had planned on calling all of his teammates over but figured that would be too mean. Maybe if this were the "I hate your fucking guts" days, then yeah, I would've done it without hesitation. But God help me, I really kinda like this guy and I don't want to embarrass and emasculate him in front of his friends.

I internally pat myself on the back for being so nice and doing my good deed for the day.

"What are you smiling about?"

I look up and scream as Jasper shoots me in the face with a water hose, sputtering and running as he chases me around the yard. I'm laughing and snorting and yelling and I'm seriously about to piss on myself.

He's ruthless with that damn hose. I'm soaked to the bone. Water is in every crevice, up my nose, in my ears... fucker. _Oh, he's gonna pay._

Deciding to change the game up, I run after him with my hands in front of my face in an attempt to block the water and he jogs backwards, keeping the hose trained on me. The grass is slippery as hell and I'm stumbling and sliding all over the damn place. Jasper's laughing and I'm threatening his ass which makes him laugh harder. Bastard.

After trying for about twenty minutes, I realize that there's no way I can win this. Dropping my arms in defeat, I shriek, "Uncle! You win, fucking douchelord!"

He lowers the stream of water to my chest and keeps it there, moving the hose from boob to boob, looking transfixed.

"Are you done?"

He keeps his gaze on the boobage. "Nope."

I cross my arms over my chest to block his view and he pouts.

"Party pooper."

I snort at his ridiculousness as I pick up the now empty bucket.

"What are you cooking me for dinner, woman?" He pulls me close and wraps an arm around my shoulders as we walk back to the house.

"Pfft, I'm not cooking_ anything_ for your ass."

"Ooh, what about some Hungry Man dinners?"

"What _about _them? I don't have any in the freezer."

He pouts and bats his lashes. "Can you run to the store and get some? Pretty please?"

"Fine, but you're eating me out before work tomorrow."

"Okay." He grins and heads for the shower, yelling, "I want the fried chicken one!" as I head out the door.

I'm sure I look a mess. Wet hair, wet clothes, but I won't be gone long. Good thing I have a spare hair clip in my glove compartment. My tresses are rolled up and clipped in place and I'm off, humming along to Janelle Monáe's song "Many Moons." She's so underrated and awesome.

The drive is only about eight minutes, so I get there in no time since traffic is low right now. I park my car and attempt to adjust my shirt so it's not so damn clingy as I walk to the front entrance. Hopefully, no small children are in here or there are gonna be some offended mama's huffing around.

"Bella!"

I turn to the voice and my heart drops to my stomach as he jogs over to me. Even in a cap and glasses I can tell that gay-ass run from anywhere. He's breathing hard and plumes of hot breath are blowing in my face as I back away from him. "What do you want, Edward?"

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**A/N:**

**Dun, dun DUUUUUN!**

**Have you read my collab with Kitty Cullen03, Three's Company? It won first place in the Single Shot Awards for Best Lemon! Woot-woot! We're thinking about adding another chapter as a thank you, so keep a look out! :-D**

**coachlady1, the dil to my do, beta'd this thing for me while I shamelessly groped her. She's so good to me.**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:**

**Another Jasper POV! ****Yay! ****^_^**** *throws up Jasper Lovers gang sign***

**I have a new J/B one shot for the Teach Me the Nasty Contest! Check it out!**

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Bella's taking a long-ass time at that store. I'm really fuckin' hungry and I _really _want that Hungry Man. I should've asked her to get me two or three. Fuck.

I pick up the phone and dial her number hoping she's still there because my stomach is about to turn inside out. One Hungry Man won't be enough, and snatching up Bella's food won't be an option because she smacks my hand with her stingy ass when I try to eat off her plate.

She doesn't answer so I leave a message. Then I send a text in case she doesn't get the voicemail 'cause I swear my body is about to start eating itself.

I wanna look in the icebox and find something to tide me over but I know as soon as I do, Bella will come waltzing that sexy ass back through the door. Plus, I wanna save all of my hunger for those Hungry Man meals 'cause that fried chicken? De-fuckin-licious. Yeah, it has that weird texture and the mashed potatoes are always grainy, but fuck me if they don't go perfectly together. And when you're hungry, a fried chicken Hungry Man is the best thing you've ever eaten.

Thirty minutes later and I'm starting to get worried. And kinda pissed because I'm hungry and my mouth is set on that goddamn chicken.

I quickly do the math in my head. It would take about twelve minutes to get there, ten to grab the food and buy it, another twelve to come back... she's been gone almost an hour. Something ain't fuckin' right.

Fuck, what if she got in an accident? Or got mugged? Or was hit by a car? I might be overreacting like a punk but that's my girl and I don't know what the fuck I'd do if—nah, fuck that. I'm not even gonna _think_ that shit.

Ten minutes later and I'm fighting the urge to go to the store my damn self to see if she's okay. I'm trying to stay calm here but _fuck_ I'm worried. She's never done anything like this before. Bella is punctual as fuck and doesn't linger in grocery stores. She's in and out as fast as possible so this doesn't make any fuckin' sense. Something is wrong.

I stop when I hear the familiar jingle of keys outside the door and I'm on her, hugging her, smelling her, just being an all-around bitch.

"I was so worried. Fuck, I was so worried. Why didn't you answer your phone?" My voice is muffled by her neck. And my hands naturally gravitate to her ass—their home. I squeeze a boob really quickly too, so they won't feel neglected. Her little arms wrap around me and she giggles because I can spend all day grabbing her ass. It's a really nice ass. Fuck, I'm getting hard thinking about it.

She heads to the kitchen and I know she's probably already sick of me because I'm all up on her and she can barely walk.

"My phone is dead, babe. I didn't get your call."

Damn girl can never keep her phone charged—she's as absentminded as her mom but I'd never tell her that. She would never have sex with me again if I compared her to Renee.

"What took so long?"

"Traffic. And the place was busy." She doesn't look up from the bag she's emptying as she speaks.

"You okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I got you three Hungry Man's 'cause I knew you'd be hungry and eating my shit isn't gonna happen."

That's the best news I've heard all fuckin' day and I'm sure I look like a kid on Christmas morning, my smile is so big. I hug her from behind and squeeze tight, burying my face in her neck, kissing her there as she prepares the dinners because she's my girl and I appreciate everything she does for me.

"Fuck, I love you."

Her hands still and my head shoots up from her neck and the room is so quiet you could hear a cricket fart.

Fuck. Fuck, did I just say that? Shit, I didn't mean to, I wasn't even thinking about it. _Do_ I love her?

Oh, fuck.

"What?"

She sounds a little stunned, and shit, I don't blame her. I'm stunned my _damn _self. I let the words fly without thinking.

"I'm just really fuckin' hungry, baby. Got a little _too _excited, ya know?"

"Oh."

Oh?

And does she sound relieved? What the fuck is that about?

She goes back to poking holes in the plastic and I'm standing here, mouth hanging open like a fuckin' idiot.

Maybe I _do_ love her. What if I really _did _mean that shit? Would she have said it back? Or would she be one of those assholes that says, "Me too," knowing damn well they don't mean it? I don't think I've ever been in love before, I mean, I _thought_ I had but those bitches don't even compare to what I feel for Bella.

I don't have long to ponder that shit 'cause I now have a plate of piping hot chicken in my face, calling my name.

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Whoa.

What the hell?

"Ohhh, God."

"Bella? You okay, baby?"

Her running to the bathroom to puke is the answer to that question. Damn, what a sight to wake up to. Right when my eyes crack open, eye boogers and snot and hot breath are all up in my face. I mean, she's beautiful because she's my girl but... holy damn.

She looks like hell on a stick.

I walk to the bathroom and knock. "You okay in there?"

She dry heaves a few times before answering and of course the answer is "no." I go to the kitchen and see if we have any soup or Gatorade—anything to replenish her electrolytes and innard juices because she's throwing up a helluva lot.

There's a bottle of Powerade so I grab it and take it into the room where she's bundled under the covers shivering.

I put the bottle on her nightstand and sit next to her on the edge of the bed, brushing the hair from her damp forehead.

"Looks like you have the flu, baby."

She groans and curls up further, which makes her ass poke out and I have to really control myself because I wanna squeeze it. Closing my eyes and balling my hands into fists doesn't help because now I keep thinking of the last time we did it doggy style when I pushed her underwear to the side and just... fucked the life outta her.

"Jas?" Damn, sounds like she swallowed a box of rocks and lit cigarettes.

"Yeah, babe? What do you need?" I stroke her hair some more.

"Cough drops. Medicine cabinet."

Normally, I'd be a smartass about her bossing me around and say something to ruffle her feathers. But I keep my mouth closed and go like an obedient puppy because she's sick—what kind of asshole would I be if I purposely pissed off my sick girlfriend?

I open the cabinet door and there's nothing here except for a box of tampons and an empty cough drop bag. Well, these aren't even real cough drops; they're those delicious-ass candies that masquerade as medicine. Obviously, Bella's been munching on them like Skittles because there're no more left. I guess I'll be nice and get some more for her. Might as well accumulate some points so she'll have sex with me ASAP.

I mean, I'm not gonna do it while she's all sick and shit, but as soon as she's better, I wanna be in there.

I kiss her, admire her ass and ask her if she wants any soup before I go. She doesn't wanna eat anything which is understandable but I still plan on buying her some broth or some shit while I'm out.

The drive is short and thankfully, the parking lot is damn near empty when I pull up to the store. I grab a cart and shudder a little bit 'cause I always feel like a pansy pushing these things. Everything is found easily—Theraflu, Nyquil, those candy "coughdrops," _real_ coughdrops, chicken broth and a bunch of miscellaneous shit like a heating pad and VaporRub. I hope some of this shit helps. I hate seeing my girl so miserable.

I'm putting everything on the checkout counter when something catches my eye and I do a fucking double-take because I _know _I must be seeing shit. But just in case, I snatch that shit off the rack to take a closer look and I'm about to kill a motherfucker.

I look around at every other label on the racks—_Star_, _People_, _OK!_, _US Weekly_, _InTouch _and all the fucking rest of these bullshit girly-ass magazines...

My girl on the goddamn front page for the world to see with that 99 Apes motherfucker. And judging by what the hell she's wearing, this shit happened yesterday.

She fucking snuck off to see him.

She took for-fucking-ever because she was with him.

She was acting funny when she came back because she was fucking around with him.

I open the magazine, hands white-knuckling the glossy pages as I look at the pictures inside.

Him hugging her from behind. Her touching his cheek. Him nuzzling her fucking neck. Them kissing.

Kissing.

My hands are shaking, eyes narrowing in anger.

Fucking. Kissing.

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**A/N:**

**0_0 Don't kill me!**

**It's their fault, I swear! They keep rewriting these chapters and taking over!**

***hides behind coachlady1***


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:**

**Does anyone even read author's notes? LOL!**

**I have an entry in the anonymous Pretty Porn Contest. Try to guess which on****e**** is mine and VOTE! :-D**

**www . fanfiction . net/u/2120160/The_LUSTorium**

**And r****emember that I'm a HEA type of gal. Just sayin'...**

**Back to Bella's POV we go!**

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Blarg.

I'm dying.

Seriously dying.

I can't breathe. My nose is simultaneously stuffed _and_ running, which shouldn't even be possible. My throat is full of phlegm. My chest keeps making that annoying rattling noise when I breathe. My body hurts—even my fucking eyelashes hurt. The room is spinning, which is doing wonders for my headache. I'm hot. But when I move the cover off of me, my body shakes almost violently from being so damn cold.

I want my mom.

She always knows what to do when I'm sick.

Jasper is trying. He'll probably bring back the usual suspects: cough drops, Nyquil and all that jazz.

Those are okay, I guess. But nothing can cure feeling crappy like a mother's love. Renee _may _be a little scatterbrained—and I _may _have had to pretty much take charge of cooking duties from the age of eleven on up, but she was _always _there when I was sick. At the first sign of a cough, she'd come in my room with Robitussin, a jelly and butter sandwich, a can of Sprite and a lot of love.

Worked every time.

I want to call Renee, but that would mean leaving my comforter cave and that just isn't gonna happen. Although, after a fit of coughs that I was sure was going to end with my innards being splayed all over the bed, that phone call was sounding more and more tempting.

I need a hug.

Right as that thought flits through my brain, the front door opens—just in time. I peek over the edge of my cave so I can see him when he comes in and almost laugh when he trudges into the bedroom with the whole damn store in his hands.

My sweet Jasper.

He drops all of the bags on the bed and starts emptying them. He doesn't look at me, hasn't said anything. His face is uncharacteristically stoical. A bag of cough drops is tossed in my lap and I frown. What the hell?

"Jasper." Fuck, it hurts to talk. "What's wrong?"

"Here, some Robitussin." A little cup of red stinky stuff is shoved against my lips and I'm forced to swallow.

"Jasper..."

He's taking a heating pad out of its packaging, obviously attempting to busy himself in order to ignore my question.

"What's wrong, Jasper?"

His brows are scrunched, jaw tensed, lips pursed.

"Get that Vicks, Bella." He nods toward the little tub of Vicks VapoRub sitting near my leg before resuming his attack on the heating pad box. "Rub some on your chest."

I lean back on my elbows and pout. "Can't you do it?"

That should cheer him right up. He's always looking for some kind of excuse to look at, and or, feel up my breasts. He's gonna have a field day with this.

He doesn't even look up as he answers me. "Nah. I'm trying to open this box."

My mouth drops open.

What.

The.

Fuck?

He finally stops messing with that stupid box to look up at me and I sit up, ready to hear what he has to say and hoping that he'll tell me what's going on. But that hope shrivels fast when I see his face—his gaze makes my eyes widen in shock. He looks almost menacing as he continues to stare, not saying a word. I adjust myself on the bed, growing uncomfortable as I slink back down under the false comfort that my blanket brings.

"Anything you wanna tell me?"

The question confuses me. His tone sounds as if he's waiting for me to confess something and as far as I can remember, I've done nothing wrong.

I shake my head and clutch the fluffy fabric of the comforter before answering. "No."

His eyes turn to slits before they lower and he goes back to manhandling the box.

xxxxxxxxxxx

The next two days were strange, to say the least. Jasper took care of me but it wasn't the kind of care one would expect from their usually attentive boyfriend. He kept his distance, barely speaking to me and when he _did_ speak, it was short, clipped and to the point. He made sure I took my medicine, asked how I was feeling every few hours, and all of the mandatory stuff. But I wanted to be coddled and babied, damn it.

He was being a fucking jerk and every time I asked him to talk to me, he'd just shrug me off and say he was fine, which was obviously a lie. I didn't know what I did or what I could do to fix it. I was floundering, trying to think of anything I could have done to make him this way.

In an act of desperation, I'd come out of the shower and pranced around wet and butt-ass naked, bending over in front of him, finding excuses to rub my boobs across his arm... nothing.

No sexy looks. No vulgar groping. No dirty commentary. Not even an ass smack.

It was like I wasn't even in the room with him.

I had to double up on the Theraflu that night. Apparently, it's not a good idea to walk around wet and bare when you're already sick.

I even tried playing a trick on him to bring him out of his funk. I'd put Saran Wrap around the toilet opening so when he peed, it would hit the barrier, bounce out and splash all over his legs and feet.

I'd quietly snickered when he went into the bathroom and cackled when I heard his piss hit the clear plastic. By the way it sounded, it was one of those pisses where your bladder is full and the pee comes out fast and hard—his feet were probably permanently stained yellow by now. My laughter died down when I heard the shower turn on, which was something I wasn't expecting. And I definitely wasn't laughing when he stepped out of the bathroom without a word, smirk or glance my way.

He'd started sleeping on the couch, much to my chagrin. I'd basically begged him to stay in the room with me, promising that I would keep my hands to myself and not try any funny business, but it fell on deaf ears.

I was pretty positive that the only reason he hadn't just gone back to his own place was that I was sick. He was at least nice enough to make sure I was okay before he left.

I was at a loss, desperate and didn't understand what was going on.

By the third day, I was feeling more like myself but I didn't want to get better. The sooner I was back to normal, the sooner I was sure that Jasper would leave. I wasn't sure I could take that. I'd put so much of myself out there, trusted him when I swore I wouldn't trust again, shared parts of myself that I'd vowed to never share again. And he was shutting me out with no explanation.

"Jasper?" I knock on the bathroom door. He's been in there for a while now and I want to make sure he's not sick since he's been around my sneezy ass for days. Even though his attitude has been less than ideal, I would hate for him to feel like he has to deal with his being sick by himself. "Are you okay?"

A few seconds later, the door swings open and I take a step back. His nostrils are flared, chest heaving.

"Jasper?"

He speaks slowly, through clenched teeth as his hand digs into the door frame. "Is. There. Something. You. Need. To. Tell. Me?"

I stutter for a few seconds, shocked and a little scared. I've never seen him so mad and it's all directed at me. I rack my brain, trying to think of something—_anything_—that I could have done in the past few days.

My hands are shaking. I grip the edge of my shirt to steady them and answer. "No."

He chuckles and it creeps me out. It's not a normal, sane person chuckle. "You have nothing to tell me, huh? Nothing? Nothing at all?"

"No." My voice is shaky. "I can't think of anything."

He stalks out of the bathroom, pushing past me as he takes long strides to the closet. He's throwing all of his things into a duffle bag and I can't stop the tears from falling as I walk over to him.

"What are you doing?" I try grabbing his arm but he pulls it out of my grip.

"What does it look like?"

His words slice through me, reality sinking in and I panic. "Don't go!" I sound shrill and hysterical, but I can't help it—and I don't care.

"I tried waiting, tried waiting to see if you would just tell me the fuckin' _truth_!"

"I_ have_! Don't leave, you can't leave. Please! I didn't _do_ anything!"

I'm snatching his things out of the bag as he throws them in. "Talk to me! Please, tell me what I did! Tell me, so I can fix it!"

He turns to me and he looks crazed. "Fix it? You wanna fucking fix _this_?"

Papers scatter at my feet and I look down.

Magazines?

"You can't fuckin' _fix_ this." He turns back around and continues roughly shoving things into his bag.

Confused, I pick one up.

A picture of Edward and me is on the cover with the headline: _IN LOVE!_

Oh, shit.

"Yeah, look familiar, huh?"

I shake my head, not believing what I'm seeing as I pick up another, then another.

"How long have you been fucking your ex behind my back?" he spits.

"I... I never—"

"I've been _nothing _but good to you and you cheat on me with that asshole rock star?"

My whole body is shaking; my heart is thundering in my chest, my legs are jelly.

_He's leaving me._

"I didn't cheat, Jasper. I would _never—_"

"Don't you fuckin' lie to me, Swan." His finger is in my face, words spoken with malice. "I've seen the pictures, I've read the _fuckin__'_ stories and if _that _wasn't bad enough, I have a goddamn _wart_ on my dick."

My mouth gapes open. "Wart?..."

"Yeah, a fuckin' painful ass, big fuckin' _bump_. A pleasant surprise I found when I was just takin' a piss a minute ago. This shit ends _now_—you're fuckin' caught and you'd better hope to _God _this shit can be cured."

"But, I didn't—"

"Save that shit. Ain't no fixin' this. I tried. Damn it, I tried, but you just _kept_... you fuckin' _lied_."

His voice breaks on the last word and I'm shaking my head back and forth in disbelief.

"I..." I can't find the words. I'm speechless.

_He's leaving me_.

My vision is blurry, tears falling onto the pile of magazines that have ruined any chance that I had at happiness.

I can't fix it.

I slowly crumble to the floor, numb as the front door slams, making the walls vibrate from the force.

_He left me._

_Over lies._

xxxxxxxxxxx

**A/N:**

***hides***


	17. Chapter 17

**Long ass A/N:**

*****BIG NEWS*****

**I'm sure all of you Jasper gals have heard of the Jasper's Darlin's blog, right? Well, guess who their newest Darlin' In Training is!**

**Squeee! ^_^**

**Okay, I have a confession to make... I'm addicted to writing one shots for contests. I need an intervention (but I still want you to vote for me! Hahaha!) I'm going on a contest strike, so I can focus on my two WIP's. And I'm going on that strike right after I finish these two one shots that I'm working on *snickers***

**Check out the Loving Bellsper Contest and try to guess which entry is mine:**

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**And vote for your two favorites (hopefully one of them is mine!) in the Teach Me The Nasty Contest:**

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**I sucked at responding to reviews from the last chapter because my dumb ass keyboard was being a douchebag. Sorry :(**

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hours later and I'm still on the floor, rocking back and forth.

Or has it been minutes?

Seconds?

It doesn't matter.

It feels like it's been days.

My body hurts. Everything hurts. But it's not from my being sick.

He left.

He wouldn't let me explain.

If he cared so much about me, shouldn't he have let me explain?

My stomach turns, but I hold it down. Throwing up would mean that I would have to get up and go to the bathroom. I feel too weak for walking… for anything, really.

If I could lie down and wake up five years from now, I would. Without hesitation. It hurts.

The house is so quiet without him here. Without him yelling at the PlayStation or yelling at food on the stove for burning or yelling at the TV when his team is losing... I just miss his yelling.

I wish I could hear him yell again. I would like that. I know he did it to make me laugh and it always worked. I laughed every time. He's so ridiculous.

It's only been a few hours and I miss him.

Or has it been minutes?

Will he come back?

Please, let him have forgotten something. Anything.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and look around the dark room. He left a pair of underwear under the bed. Will he come back to get them?

Will he call for them?

Call.

I should call him. Explain.

He'll be forced to listen to my voicemail.

My cell is across the room.

I don't know if I can make it. I feel so weak. So weak without him.

Jasper.

A sob bubbles out of my throat as soon as I think his name.

He left me.

I look down at the pile of magazines in front of me, useless scraps of glossy paper that have managed to ruin my life. I scream as I swat them away from me, making them scatter across the room.

And I'm still screaming as I crawl around the room, ripping the papers to shreds in an attempt to rid my mind of the pictures and lies attached to them.

My voice is hoarse.

There are no more pictures to tear.

I feel no better than I did before.

How much time has passed?

More minutes?

Hours?

The sun has completely set but that's of no significance to me.

I lie on the floor and curl my body. Maybe if I can curl myself tightly enough, it'll feel like he's holding me.

I want him here. I want him holding me.

My phone rings. I don't open my eyes when it does. I know it's not Jasper.

Tears slide across my face when I think of his name. His smile. His dimples. His eyes.

He left me.

My cell rings this time and I open my eyes.

Did I fall asleep?

The sun is shining brightly into my window.

We used to watch the sunrise together from my window. He would hold me and sweetly kiss my neck while we sat on my bed in tranquil silence.

The sun is too bright.

My blinds are closed but it's still too goddamned bright. I cover my eyes with my arm and cry again.

He left me.

Someone is pounding on my door. It hurts my head. I cover my ears with my hands and roll onto my back.

That someone is now yelling. It's a female voice. Not my Jas. I don't bother getting up. It's not Jasper. They don't matter. Not right now.

Nothing matters.

I lie on my stomach and close my eyes, drowning out the loud knocking with thoughts of Jasper smiling at me.

I love his smile.

I wake up to my house phone ringing. It's so loud.

It hurts.

My eyes burn.

I didn't even realize that I had fallen asleep. Not that it matters.

Voicemail picks up. I hear Edward's voice.

_Edward_.

I hate him.

He's ruined everything—he always ruins everything. Constantly managing to tear my heart into unmendable shards.

I want to run to the phone, to pick it up and tell him how much I hate him. Tell him that it's his fault that my chest is so hollow. I want to scream at him until I lose my voice. I want to hit him and kick him until my legs give out.

But I stay on my stomach, on my floor, alone in my room.

He's not Jasper.

He's not important.

He thought I should be flattered that he wanted to try again. Said that we were meant to be together. I slapped him.

He tried to kiss me and hug me. I pushed him away. Told him I was with someone else and happy. He wouldn't leave me alone, hell-bent on convincing me that I still loved and wanted him. There was no convincing. We were finished. I wanted Jasper.

I expect tears to come at my thinking his name, but they don't. I think my body is all dried out. But the ache is still there. Why won't it stop? I want to clutch my chest to ease the pain but I know it won't work.

Nothing will. Unless he comes back.

Edward figured that if he had me once, he could have me again. Figured I would choose him, the rock god, over some lowly dodgeball player. But he was wrong and I told him so. I also told him that he was an arrogant cunt waffle. But he's never listened to anything other than his own voice.

I hate him.

He's ruined me. Twice.

Jasper was all I wanted.

All I _still_ want.

But he's gone now.

My phone rings again.

It's bright outside. How long has it been?

Does it matter?

My stomach growls violently and I know that I should eat something. I have Nyquil in my dresser drawer. That's the closest thing to me.

Does Nyquil have any nutritional value?

Voicemail picks up but the voice isn't Jasper's, so I don't pay much attention. My cell beeps, signaling a new text message. I know it's not Jasper. He doesn't care much for texting; he prefers talking.

My bladder hurts.

Everything hurts. Especially my chest. It literally feels as if my heart is breaking.

Maybe Tums will help. They have calcium too, so I could eat a few to make my stomach stop growling.

I can't hold my pee anymore so I sit up. The room is spinning and my stomach growlsagain. I can feel my pulse pounding in my ears as I stand and I wobble a few times on my way to the bathroom.

Peeing feels great. Relieving.

I wash my hands and contemplate lying in my bed. Sleep sounds really good right now.

It's dark out.

I see my cell phone blinking orange from the corner of my eye. It's in my hands. I don't remember picking it up. I ignore the text messages and dial his number. In a world full of speed dialing, I still know his number by heart and can recite it backwards if I had to.

It goes straight to voicemail.

I don't understand what I'm saying. I'm crying, my words are garbled—they don't make much sense. But I'm hurting. He needs to know how badly he's hurt me. I try to tell him, but it won't come out right.

My time is up, the phone cuts me off.

I slowly lie down on my bed, not bothering to pull back the cover. That's too much work. I'm too tired.

The sun is beginning to rise. My heart breaks a little more. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block out the images of him tickling me, kissing me, making love to me.

We were so good together.

Why would he leave me?

My eyes close.

The phone rings but I don't answer.

I know it's not my Jasper.


	18. Chapter 18

*****Please read*****

**Okay, I have a question. Would you guys prefer shorter, more frequent chapters? Chapter 17 was really short but I got it out pretty fast. If I keep the chapters short, I'll be able to update at least once or twice a week.**

**What do you all think about shorter, more frequent chapters? Yay or nay?**

xxxxxxxxxxxx

JPOV

"Yep, you have herpes."

My jaw hits the fucking floor.

My heart is racing.

My stomach drops.

Herpes?

She gave me fucking herpes?

Oh, my fucking God. Oh, fuck.

Herpes is incurable.

There's no fucking cure. I have to live the rest of my life with warts on my dick.

I can't think of anything to say. What the fuck do you say to the nurse who just told you that you have a fucking incurable STD?

My head is shaking back and forth in disbelief. It's the best response I can come up with.

All of the things that I've never even considered are suddenly taunting me.

A wife in the kitchen, smiling and making my favorite pie.

Sitting in a hospital room as she delivers our baby while cussing me out for getting her pregnant in the first place.

Little feet scampering around the house while their mom yells at them to stop running before they hurt themselves...

"Charlotte, hush." Another nurse says as she comes into the room. I look at her, dumbfounded. Where did she come from?

My nurse shrugs. "Well, it looks like herpes to me."

"Take your lunch break. I'll take over from here." New Nurse picks up my chart and thumbs through it. Old Nurse rolls her eyes and walks out of the room.

"So, I see here that you have a painful, blister-like sore in your pubic area?"

I nod.

She smiles all nurse-ly at me. "Right. Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to take a look at it. I could leave the room while you disrobe if you—oh... _my._"

My pants are down. Dick out. She wants to see, I'll let her see. I have no shame... well, except for the herpes wart. That's pretty fucking shameful if you ask me.

She clears her throat and her eyes stay on my dick as she talks. "Uhhh... well... I see you've shaved recently."

"Waxed."

She moves closer to me, eyes still boring holes into my dick. "If you would lie down, please."

I lie down on the examination table. She lowers her head to my crotch and pokes around the bump with a gloved finger. Shit hurts.

"Mr. Whitlock, I've been a nurse for twelve years and can confidently say that this is_ not_ herpes."

Come again?

New Nurse smiles. "Sorry about Charlotte. She's a newbie and she's also a bit brash with most her diagnoses." Sounds like Charlotte is a bitch about to lose her job because I'll be talking to her boss as soon as I step out of this exam room.

"Had you ever waxed or shaved your pubic area before?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Well, Mr. Whitlock, this is your first ingrown hair. Hurts, doesn't it? This is what happens when you neglect to properly exfoliate the skin. Sometimes, hair follicles become clogged and the hair fails to grow out as it should." She points to my bump. "This is the result."

"I... don't have herpes?"

"No, you don't have herpes. If you'd like reassurance, I can run some tests. Although I'm positive that if I got some tweezers and dug in there, I'd pull out a nice, long pubic hair just waiting to be freed."

I roughly rub my palms over my face and take a deep breath.

I don't have herpes.

This STD imposter needs to vacate my body as soon as fuckin' possible.

"Would you please pull it out for me? 'Cause this shit hurts. Excuse my French, but it needs to come out right the fuck now."

New Nurse smiles. "Of course."

Praise Jeebus

xxxxxxxxxxx

I'm driving around, aimless as fuck. I can't—_won't_ go back to Bella's place and I'm not gonna sit in my house all depressed and shit anymore, planning Edward's fucking demise.

That shit makes my nerves bad. My eye feels like it's gonna start twitching just _thinking _about that bastard kissing, hugging and whatever the fuck else he did with my girl.

Or ex-girl.

I don't fucking know. I really don't.

This whole situation is some bullshit.

I feel like screaming. And crying. I hate crying but fuck if that isn't exactly what I've been doing these past few days.

I've been so goddamned lost. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Why didn't she just tell me? Admit it?

If she didn't have anything to hide, she would have told me as soon as she got home from the store that day. But no, she hid that shit. Obviously, something went down that I wasn't supposed to find out about. She tried to keep it from me but we see how that went.

What's done in the dark and all of that.

She tried explaining after she knew that she was caught. Her face when she saw the pictures was all the confirmation I needed.

She was guilty.

And you have me fucked up if you think Imma sit there and listen to her tell me more lies. I can handle a lot of things, but Bella's lying to me ain't one of them. I'll take anything—_any_ fuckin' thing over having to see her look me in the eye and lie to my face.

When I left, I wanted to punch something. But of course my pansy ass cried as soon as I stepped foot out of her door. Tears make me feel like a bitch. My cheeks aren't supposed to get wet unless I'm washing my face, goddamn it.

That shit crushed my soul. Never felt pain like that in my whole fuckin' life and I never wanna feel it again. I can't handle feeling that again.

I went back to my own place and sat in my room for who knows how long, in the dark, thinking about every damn thing and what I could have done differently to change it. Damn near drove myself crazy. I had to get out of the house for some fresh air.

It's been a few days and still no word from her. I would have expected her to at _least _try to call and explain. But then again, I know that she knows that I wouldn't answer the call anyway.

We're so fucking in sync, so connected.

How could she do this?

Why?

How long was it going on?

What the fuck did I do to make her wanna go and fuck around on me?

And with the dick that broke her, no less.

I thought we were good—happy. I know _I _was. Why wasn't I enough?

The same fucking questions rolled around in my head for days and still no fucking answers.

I'm so pissed and humiliated. And hurt. God, this shit hurts. So fuckin' bad.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy... well, yeah I would. I'd wish the fucking _plague _on Edward. Ebola, too.

My fingers inch toward my cell sitting in the passenger seat. As pathetic as I know it is, I'd picked up the phone a few times and dialed her number. I blocked my shit, so she wouldn't know it was me calling, but damn, I just needed to hear her voice sometimes. Even if it was just the damn answering machine.

I'm such a damn pussy.

My cell rings and I roll my eyes, in no mood to talk to anyone right now. Or ever. I just wanna call Bella, so I can hear her voice. And then hang up in her face like the mature man that I am.

I look at the caller ID. Mom.

"Hey, Ma." Even though I try to sound at least a _little_ chipper, my voice comes out flat and disinterested. Oops.

_"Jasper? Honey, are you okay? Are you in your car?"_

"I'm fine—"

_"Are you buckled up? Have you—"_

I sigh. Hard. "I'm buckled and I've eaten. I'm fine, Mom."

_"Don't you take that tone with me, young man. I went through nine months of bed rest and eighty-seven hours of labo__r—__"_

"I know. I'm sorry, Ma."

_"You know I worry about you. You're my baby."_

"I know." I sigh.

_"Do you need any groceries?"_

"No, Ma. I have food—"

_"Why haven't you Skyped me? Are you trying to hide something? Is Bella pregnant?"_

"No, Ma." I take a deep breath to calm my nerves while trying to knock the appealing images of a pregnant, glowing Bella out of my brain. "Is there something you needed?"

_"Oh, I almost forgot. Renee called me, worried. You know, Bella's mom, Renee? Speaking of Isabella, when am I gonna meet her? Are you planning on making an honest woman out of her? You know I don't agree with—"_

"Mom... Ma, please. _Please_, okay? _Concentrate_. What did Renee say?"

Fuck. This isn't gonna be good. In the few seconds before she answers, I try to think of all of the things that she can tell me.

Bella's back with Edward.

Bella's pregnant with Edward's love child.

Edward abused Bella and she's in the hospital. In which case, he's gonna get the shit beat out of him like he never believed.

_"... can't get a hold of her."_

"Wait, wait, what?"

_"Do you have hearing problems? Do you need to see a doctor?"_

"No. I promise, no. Just please tell me what you said."

_"Renee said Bella won't answer her phone. She contacted one of Bella's teammates, who went to her house. No answer. She's worried sick. Bella's never done anything like this before. It reminded me of this show I was watching, _Unsolved Mysteries_, and—"_

My heart is thundering in my chest, pulse pounding in my ears.

"Ma, I love you. I gotta go. Bye."

She's missing.

Oh, fuck.

No.

I take one hand off the wheel and tug my hair in frustration. Where could she be?

I flip a bitch in the middle of traffic, not giving a damn about all of the horns that are now honking at me as I drive the other way.

I'll check her house first. She _has _to fucking be there.

What the fuck am I gonna do if she's not?

Where will I look?

I calm my breathing to keep from panicking as I speed down the road, hoping like hell that Bella's okay.

She _has _to be okay.


	19. Christmas Outtake

***peeks head in***

**Soooo...**

**How are ya?**

***twiddles thumbs awkwardly***

**Long time, no see, huh?**

**I can't apologize enough. On top of life being shitty, I've had extreme blockage when it comes to this story. I KNOW what I wanna write, but the shit just won't come out!**

**Dodgeball will NOT be abandoned, this I promise you. Please just stick with me while I try to get past this damn block in my brain. I'll love you forever if you do...**

**T_T - Puppy dog eyes.**

**Instead of keeping you guys waiting any longer, I decided to give you lovelies an outtake. A Dodgeball Christmas outtake! W00t!**

**This takes place a year or two from where the story is now. Hope you all enjoy**** the craziness****!**

xxxxxxx

"I'm nervous."

He mindlessly grabs one of my boobs and squeezes a little, like it's some kind of stress relief ball. He does this without even thinking about it. He does it so much that I hardly notice anymore.

The only problem I have with the groping is that we're now on a plane and a nosy-ass, wide-eyed kid is sitting across from us.

And I don't want him squeezing my boob because I'm about to throw up from having so many butterflies in my damn stomach. No, these aren't butterflies. These are more massive and vicious than butterflies. Pterodactyls would be more accurate.

I smack his hand away and he snaps out of his boob-induced coma. "Did you hear me, jerk face?"

"What?" He frowns, tries to grab my boob again and pouts when I deflect his grubby fingers.

"You're such a dick. I'm freaking out over here and all you can think about is my mammary glands."

At the mention of my mammary glands, his eyes lower to the bit of cleavage showing above the collar of my shirt. "Swan, I _told_ you not to worry. You already know my mom loves you—"

"Yeah, but what if she changes her mind? And what about the _rest_ of your family? They could end up hating me."

He gives me one of those looks that says "quit trippin'" and leans over to kiss my neck.

"They'll love ya. I promise."

xxxxxxxx

When we land at DFW Airport in Dallas, I swear Jasper gets an extra swag in his step. Watching his lean legs stride across the airport is really fucking sexy and I would totally bone him in the ladies room if I wasn't so full of nerves right now.

He knows this place inside and out, so we're driving away from the airport less than forty-five minutes after we land.

We'd reserved a rental car a few weeks back, despite the pleas of Jasper's mom, who wanted to be there to pick us up. I told him I didn't mind if she came and got us, but he was adamant about it and said I would thank him later.

I shut up and took his word for it.

"Now, I gotta warn ya," he turns his eyes away from the road for a few seconds to look at me. "My family, well, they're _eccentric_."

I know all about eccentric. Who my mother is, is testament to that fact. I can handle eccentric.

"And my mom... well, she..." He takes a deep breath. "She really fuckin' sucks at Christmas shopping. We'd never do it to her face, but the family always takes bets on who'll get the worst gift each year. The more excited she is, the worse the gift is. And Swan, she's _really_ excited that you're comin' out here.

"So, everyone is basically betting that you'll get the brunt of the shitty gifts. Uncle Al is particularly interested in seeing what you get, since he's convinced that no one can outdo 2008's taxidermy vest."

It takes me a second to absorb everything he's told me and my brow tenses. "Taxidermy... _vest_?"

How can those two be mentioned in the same sentence? I decide not to say them out loud again because the universe might make me burst into flames or something.

He smirks. "You'll see."

xxxxxxxx

Deep, bellowing barks come from the other side of the door when Jasper rings the doorbell and I jump behind him in fear. My nails dig into his hands as I hold on for dear life.

He chuckles. "That's just the family dog, Space Bot. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

_Yeah, 'cause he's too busy eating __toddlers_. "He sounds huge."

"He is. But he's old, so he's harmless."

Yeah, we'll see how harmless Space Bot is when I hobble out of this place with missing limbs. What kind of name is Space Bot, anyway?

The door whooshes open. "Jazzikins!"

Jasper is pulled into his mom's arms as she gushes over him, pinches his cheeks, ruffles his hair and asks him when he's gonna bring home some grandbabies.

I try to back away slowly, but she catches the slight movement and snatches me into a tight hug while asking me if her boneheaded son has popped the question yet.

"Leave the Beller alone, Lottie, she just got in the goddamned door."

I look up to see a short, stocky, wrinkled old man who looks like he spends his days yelling at kids to stay off his lawn.

"Oh, hush. Ya ol' miserable bastard. Bella," she nods toward the old dude, "that's your future uncle-in-law, Aro. Old SOB doesn't even leave fingerprints anymore. Ignore him. He hasn't had a bowel movement in about twenty years."

I'm being walked around the room and introduced to everyone, carefully avoiding the toothless horse that they call a dog. He's been growling and farting nonstop since I came into the house. It's hard to remember everyone's names. Jasper has a big-ass family.

"Will y'all shut the hell up? I cain't hear the damn game!"

The grandma, Esme, is a huge sports nut. She has four games going on three different televisions that are all run by one master remote. Jasper told me never to touch that remote for any reason.

Never.

By the look on his face, he was dead serious and I promised I that wouldn't touch the remote.

It didn't take much coaxing to get me to promise that. Hell, Esme scares me. I'm pretty sure she's on steroids. If the mood swings didn't give her away, those muscle-y arms damn sure did. That festive grandma sweater couldn't hide the guns she was packing underneath.

"Don't nobody care 'bout them games, Esme. I told you Billy's watchin' me through them damn screens, woman. You _need_ to turn 'em off!"

"Shut the hell up, Carlisle. Ain't Billy or nobody else worried about yo' old, rusty ass!"

Jasper explained that sixty years ago his grandpa Carlisle was in a war for two days before he fell and broke a finger and was sent home with an honorary discharge. Ever since then, Carlisle's been going on about some guy named Billy trying to kill him.

Everybody just ignores him.

These people certainly are some characters. Especially Riley, who's as proud as a peacock and gayer than a picnic basket.

A feathery, glittery, bedazzled picnic basket.

"Who's hungry? Supper's on!"

Everyone starts walking to the dining room, but no one is moving faster than Jane, Jasper's five-foot tall three-hundred pound cousin.

xxxxxxxx

"Can I have some-a that?"

If this boy asks for "some-a that" _one _more damn time. Everything _anyone _has in their hands, Alec's little greedy ass wants some. He's asked for "some-a that" at least five hundred times since I've walked through the door.

He wants everything he sees, from OxyClean to Twinkies.

And from the looks of it, he gets everything he wants. At least food-wise. Kid has to be at least fifty pounds overweight.

"Well, y'all know I'm on a diet, so I ain't gon' eat much."

Jane is piling her plate with enough grub to feed half of China. Every time she puts something new on her plate, she hollers something about her diet.

"Stuffin' is healthy, ya know." She shoves more food into her greasy lips as she talks. "Lottie puts lotsa vegetables 'n stuff in it. Plus, it's baked, not fried. Baked stuff is good for ya."

Apparently, they've heard this all before because no one is even acknowledging what she's saying. Watching Jane eat is kind of making me lose my appetite. She talks with her mouth full; spittle and food particles are sprinkled across her ample chest. And it seems as though she's never heard of a fork, because she shoves everything in with her hands.

I don't think she's chewed once since she started eating.

"So, Bella, got any brothers back at home? I could show 'em a good ol' time."

Jasper's bitter, spinster aunt Tanya loudly smacks her lips and rolls her eyes. "Riley, shut the hell up. Everybody ain't gay and everybody don't _wanna be_."

"Can I have some-a that?"

"Well, sweetie-buns," Riley rolls his neck like a pro, "everybody _should_ be. Hetero boning is sooo... _blah_."

"Punkin pie is healthy, too. Got punkins in it and everythang. Punkins have all kindsa vitamins."

Grandma Esme is literally bouncing in her seat. I'm sure she's antsy and can't wait to get back to her games, even though they're all being TiVo'd.

"Can I have some-a that?"

Dinner carries on in the same crazy fashion, until Carlisle shot puts the turkey into a wall, screaming that Billy put a bomb in it.

"Okay!" Jasper's mom claps cheerfully. "Who's ready for presents?"

All eyes immediately fly to me and Jasper squeezes my knee in comfort. Charlotte's eyes are brimming with excitement. Everyone else's are ranging from sympathetic to amused.

Well, almost everyone. Space Bot is happily munching on the plentiful crumbs around Jane's feet and Alec is too busy asking if he can have some-a the turkey that's stuck to the wall.

xxxxxxxx

I sit back and watch in horror as everyone opens Charlotte's gifts.

I haven't opened mine yet. I'm too scared. Will it be worse than Jane's owl feather covered girdle? And it just _can't _be as bad as Uncle Pete's gorilla fur tie. Or cousin Kate's fossilized dinosaur shit.

Right?

"Hey, Beller." No matter how many times I've told Uncle Al that my name is Bella, he keeps calling me Beller. "Why don't you gon' 'head and open your gift?"

He coughs to cover up his laugh and Charlotte looks over to me. "Oh, yes! Open your gift, honey! I hope you like it. When I saw it, I thought it was perfect for you!"

Her eyes are big, her smile is hopeful and I'm terrified. I really hope that I can act like I like it... whatever it is.

I'm wasting time as I slowly and carefully remove the bow... unravel the ribbon... pull back the paper... take off the top...

I fight to keep my face neutral as I look inside the box.

All eyes are on me, no one is speaking, no one is _breathing_.

"Well, what is it?"

I honestly don't know how to answer that question truthfully.

If I were to say it was a monstrosity, Charlotte would be devastated.

I have no clue what it is.

A baby octopus, maybe?

Literally, a ceramic baby doll head with octopus legs...

_Who _would make this?

The thing is creepy. No matter what direction I move it to, those beady eyes keep following me.

I hold it up for everyone to see, keeping my eyes downcast, so I don't have to see its weirdo eyes.

I'm afraid I'll turn to stone if I keep looking at those eyes.

Everyone is now coughing to cover up their chuckles.

"Can I have that?"

"No! Hush up, boy. That's Bella's gift!"

For once, I wanna give Alec what he wants. I want nothing else than to give Alec what he wants. I bite my tongue to keep from telling him to take the damn thing.

Jasper plops down on the couch next to me, smiling widely and I wanna punch him in the balls _so_ bad. His present was almost as bad as mine. I secretly named it WTF Cat.

"Aw, baby, that's so cute! Dontcha think so?" He pats the thing's head and looks at me expectantly.

From the corner of my eye, I see Charlotte's eyebrows rise in anticipation. I can't hurt her feelings. "Er... yeah!" I hope my toothy smile isn't too fake. "It sure is! Thank you, Charlotte!"

"So," Uncle Alistair clears his throat and smiles like a villain, "what are you gonna name that cute little ol' baby there?"

Name?

They want me to name this... _thing?_

I look down at the creature, with its evil eyes and demonic smile. There's only one name ugly enough to fit it. One name stupid enough to go with such a ridiculous creation.

I look up at everyone and answer.

"It—uh, _her_ name is Renesmee."

xxxxxxxx

**Chapter 19 is in progress! Thank you all for sticking with me through hard times.**

**Merry Christmas!**

**If you don't celebrate Christmas, happy holidays!**

**Jasper's gift: ****media. tumblr. com/tumblr_lauq2zDgeb1qctkcl. jpg**

**Beller's gift: media. tumblr. com/tumblr_l8m2gq8U6Z1qctkcl. jpg**

**Smooches!**


	20. Chapter 20

**So I have about a thousand excuses, but here's the summary:**** Some potentially devastating shit went down and I lost the focus needed to write. I re-wrote this chapter five times because it just wasn't working. My internet connection was fucked for days, so I couldn't upload anything.**

**The end. :-P**

**A few of you were confused by the last chapter, saying that I messed up and that it made no sense. This is probably because you didn't read the beginning A/N... or the title of the chapter, for that matter. Shame on you. *waggles finger in your face***

**The last chapter was a Christmas OUTTAKE. An alternate reality which gave a possible glimpse into the future of Beller and Jas.**

**This chapter will continue where we left off in chapter 18.**

**xxxxxxxxx**

BPOV

I open my eyes, suddenly aware of another presence in the room and I let out a long, exasperated sigh, wishing she'd just leave me alone.

"Go away, Alice."

I crane my neck to look around, blinking my blurred eyes as I prepare my mouth to kick Alice out of my house for the second time today. But as soon as my lips crack open, they snap shut again.

He's here. Jasper.

Just thinking the name sends pain ricocheting through my chest.

He still looks the same. How is that possible? After what has seemed like an entire lifetime of being without him, he's still as gorgeous as the day he left. I don't know what to feel. My emotions are drifting from one extreme to the other—relief, anger, elation, betrayal.

Our gazes are locked, lips unable or maybe unwilling, to convey the thoughts that are running rampant in our minds. What is there to say? What can I say to fix this? _Is_ there any fixing this? Do I _want_ this to be fixed? His expression hasn't changed. He's just... _s__tanding _there, arms dangling awkwardly by his side in the narrow doorway. He opens his mouth, closes it, and lowers his eyes to the floor. And I'm afraid to speak... afraid to even blink, for fear that he'll disappear. He left me so easily before—he'd leave even easier a second time. It's always easier the second time.

I don't know why he's here; I don't know what he wants. But I _do_ know that I would never be able to survive watching him leave again.

_He _will _leave again._

That realization makes my breath stutter, makes my eyes burn. I turn back around and close my eyes, drawing my knees closer to my chest. My breaths are slow and even and in perfect contrast to the heavy thundering in my chest.

The silence carries on and I wonder if he's left. I can't open my eyes and I can't turn around. If I do and that doorway is empty again, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I won't be strong enough survive it.

"I talked to Alice."

He still sounds the same—that deep, smooth whiskey voice. My eyes squeeze tighter when I hear it. I don't allow myself to be comforted by it. I can't.

"She, ah... she told me what happened."

He's closer. I can hear it, feel it. My body reacts, goosebumps sprouting on every inch of my skin, desperate for his touch. I pull my knees in tighter.

"I fucked up. I fucked up and there's not a goddamn thing I can do to change that." Closer. "I shouldn't have done what I did, but seeing that shit... Bella, seeing you with him like that fuckin' destroyed me."

His voice wavers and he clears his throat. "You gotta understand. I was so pissed and... I didn't know what the fuck to do." The bed dips behind me and all of the tiny hairs on my body stand on end, reaching out for him. "I'm sorry, B. I'm so fuckin' sorry."

More silence.

"Please forgive me, 'cause I'll never forgive my fuckin' self."

His scent wafts into my nose before I feel a strong arm wrap around my waist, lips pressing gentle kisses on my shoulder. I almost whimper... or maybe I _do_, but don't hear it. I can't hear anything except for the blood rushing through my ears and the heavy, warm wisps of breath that are blowing against the back of my neck. This is so familiar and right... and so very wrong.

We'd lain like this so many times before, talking, laughing, making love. And now... with his arms holding me close, our bodies flush, we shouldn't be feeling like this. His apologies, my swollen eyes—it's all wrong.

He pulls me flush against his chest and I feel his heart beating just as wildly as mine. "B... please forgive me."

He kisses my neck and my lips quiver. _We shouldn't be like this._

"I'm sorry. Please. You don't know how fuckin' sorry I am. Tell me I can stay, tell you forgive me."

I want to believe him—I've never wanted anything more, but... "You left me."

My voice is raw with tears, those three words saying everything I need to say.

_Why did you leave me?_

_I trusted you._

_You hurt me._

_Why should I let you in again?_

"I'm sorry, B. Tell me how I can fix this."

_I'm sorry for hurting you._

_I'm sorry for leaving._

_Let me prove myself again._

_I'm not like him._

Tears sting the corners of my eyes, he holds me tighter. "I don't know..."

_I don't know if I can forgive you._

_I don't know if this is fixable._

"Please," he whispers, voice full of regret.

_Please forgive me._

_Please give me another chance._

_Please say we can fix this._

He keeps whispering _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry_ and his hold on me doesn't loosen, his tone grows more desperate with each passing second and all I can think about is the fact that this is all wrong... but it's right.

Lying in his arms with my swollen eyes, with his whispered apologies caressing my skin, I realize that I can't be without him.

I had never been happier than when I was with Jasper, had never laughed or smiled more. Despite what he did, despite the fact that we may never be the same, I don't want to be without him again.

"Jasper..."

His words stop. I turn to face him and his breathing stops.

"Okay."

_We can try._

_You can stay._

He lets out all of the air he was holding in, shoulders sagging with relief. "Thank you." He gently grabs my face in his hands, leans his forehead against mine. "Thank you."

His lips tentatively touch mine and my eyes slide closed at the familiar feel of it. Just as soon as he's there, as soon as a contented sigh slips from my mouth, he backs away.

"I'm sorry." His thumbs trace my cheeks, my jaw and back up again, but his eyes never leave mine.

I want to say it's okay, tell him I forgive him. But I'm not there yet, and right now, I feel like I may never be. "I know."

**xxxxxxxxx**

**I cut this chapter short because I just couldn't find another good place to cut it off. Don't fret; chapter 20 is in the works, so you won't have to wait too long. : )**

**Thanks for sticking with me and being all-around awesomesauce.**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:**

**Because I wanted this out ASAFP, this chapter is not beta'd. Any mistakes are my own and not the fault of my big-brained wifey, coachlady1.**

**xxxxxxx**

After gently coaxing me to eat something and not-so-gently requesting I take a hot shower, Jasper and I talked a little more about everything that had happened— about where we would go from there.

We were both sure that we wanted to be together, but _I_ was unsure of his commitment to me. The fact that he'd left so easily still haunted me, a constant nagging that was always in the forefront of my mind. I knew these concerns needed to be discussed, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Everything felt so strange between us and I felt uncomfortable talking to him about how I was feeling. It was almost as if our relationship was brand new— the beginning stages where you don't want to overstep any boundaries or make yourself too vulnerable. I felt weird around him.

It was as if we were back at square one.

Jasper brought his things back to my place but never fully unpacked his bags, which didn't help soothe my fears and left me even more on edge. Each and every time I reached in my bedroom closet to grab something, my eyes never failed to zero in on that dark corner where his sad little duffle bag slumped, waiting to be emptied.

I always hoped that today— today would be the day that I opened my closet and found it storing one less item. I was sure that if he just unpacked the damned thing, I would be able to trust in him that much more. All he needed to do was unpack that bag and most of my uncertainties would disappear.

But that day never came.

And every time I saw that bag, a sense of dread— of impending doom would seep _that_ much deeper into my gut. There was only one rational conclusion that I could think of:

_He wasn't planning on staying._

I felt so stupid and weak for letting him back into my life. But no matter how pathetic I was, no matter how much potential pain I'd knowingly opened myself up to and no matter how awkward things now were between us, I couldn't turn him away. I couldn't _not_ have Jasper in my life.

So even now, as we clumsily stumble around each other in the kitchen while trying to make dinner, I can't imagine my life any other way.

And when Jasper wipes a few beads of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, only to leave behind a wide streak of tomato sauce, it leaves me feeling a little hollow.

Before all of this, I would have made a joke and offered to lick that sauce off— or something equally filled with innuendo. He'd probably then throw a few sprigs of basil at my hair and we would end up wresting on the floor… which of course always led to amazing sex.

But now?

Now I just mumble that he has something on his forehead which leads to him spurting out a quick thanks. I then go back to browning the ground beef, wishing that we could go back to how we used to be.

I miss us. I miss our pranks and jokes and laughter and sex. Especially the sex.

We haven't shared much intimacy in the weeks that he's been back. A few pecks before either of us leaves for work is about as close to an orgasm as I've gotten.

But even though I miss the back-then sex, I don't miss the now-sex that we're not having. The trust just isn't there yet and I have a feeling Jasper knows this because he hasn't made any moves to get into my pants. The lack of pressure to get between the sheets has given me an odd sense of relief.

After we've eaten and washed the dishes, Jasper and I go about our daily routine of Project: Ignore Each Other in order to avoid the frequent awkward silences. I pick up a book; he turns on the TV… and the ignoring each other has now commenced.

A few chapters in and I find myself re-reading the same paragraph for the fourth time because I'm unable to concentrate.

The room grows silent and I notice that Jasper is now looking at me. I keep my eyes on the book, pretending that I don't see him— pretending I haven't noticed that he's turned the volume down on some motorcycle show he was watching. "How's the book so far?"

"Hmm?" I slowly raise my eyes to meet his. "Oh, it's good. A little slow, but… good."

He nods a little. "That's good."

"Mmm-hmm." I nod along with him and drag my eyes back to the book.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"What's going on?"

I look up again, confused. "What do you mean?"

"With _us_. What's happening to us?"

"Oh."

My mind is racing, the book forgotten as I try to figure out a way to answer that loaded question. I honestly never thought our predicament would be brought up. I never prepared myself for the conversation that could come of it. I figured we'd either grow closer and move past this phase in our relationship or just come to accept it as our new reality.

I never stopped to question whether he felt the same way.

"Do you not wanna be with me?"

The lump in my chest prevents me from answering, so I shake my head in response.

_How could he think that?_

I bring a hand to my chest, applying pressure as if it will stop my heart from pounding its way out.

Things haven't been the best between us, but for him to think that I don't want to be with him; for him to think that I don't want him—

But maybe…

Maybe he's looking for a way out. Maybe _he_ doesn't want to be with _me_. Maybe he's been looking for the right moment to break the news.

I prepare myself for his next words; prepare for the sting while trying to convince myself that I'll be okay.

Only… I know I won't be.

"Talk to me, B."

_B_.

He hasn't called me that in so long that I almost cry when I hear it. Memories of how we used to be flood my mind.

"I don't know… I just…"

_I just can't trust you._

"Just what?" His eyes are pleading and I hate that we're like this. I hate that there is now this huge chasm between us and I hate that I don't know if it can be repaired.

Seeing what this is doing to him— I know that I can no longer pretend that this is okay. I need to try and make things right.

"Your bag," I blurt. "Why is it still in my closet?"

He looks confused. "What bag?"

"That damn bag in the bedroom closet that you never unpacked—"

"What about it?"

"I know why it's still there…"

My sight is now set on an interesting piece of string hanging out of the sofa. I pull on it, twirl it around my finger.

His finger lifts my chin, making my watery eyes meet his questioning ones.

"You're gonna leave again." Although I try to look strong, my words are whispered and broken.

His expression softens. "Why would I leave you, B, when it damn near destroyed me the last time?"

I sniffle a little pathetically. "You've done nothing to prove me wrong,"

"I'm _here_. If I didn't wanna be, I wouldn't."

A few tears slip from my eyes and I turn my head, trying to conceal them.

"Don't do that." His thumbs gently smear the wetness across my cheeks. "You don't have to hide from me, Bella. I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry… I don't know how to fix this. Please tell me how I can fix it."

I don't know how I get here, but I am now straddling Jasper's lap. We're holding onto each other for dear life, faces buried in the other's necks as we both whisper unintelligible words, murmur incoherent promises.

_Forgive me._

_We can fix this._

_I'm sorry._

_I need you._

_I swear I won't leave you._

And when our lips meet, there is no strangeness. Only familiarity and hope— hope that we can get back what we were.

**xxxxxxx**

**A/N:**

**I was gonna add a little bit of lemony action to this chapter, but decided against it. These two love birds have a little ways to go before they start screwing like bunnies again.**

**Thank you all so much for your continued support. I wish that I could hump you all to show you how much I love you!**

**Until next time. Smooches! ^_^ **


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